Reply #233: Letter to Jim/Jeff:

[Danascot]

You should get a book deal and write a book… and you should write it as soon as possible.

You've said you wouldn't rat on Bush/GOP but let me put it to you this way:

You’ll make a ton of money. Your chance to make money is now. You’ll never get a better chance again. Not even close. You’ll never make that kind of money as a male escort, or anything else you might ever do in your life.

Look at it this way. If you have a $200 date every weeknight and a $1,200 weekend every week for a year you gross $118,800… that’s before taxes… plus, think of all the wear and tear on whatever. I bet you could get a book deal for a mil in advance and 20% of sales. Why not? With enough juicy stuff in it, it could be the biggest seller of the year.

You’re a guy who likes attention. You’ll get more than you ever dreamed of if you write a tell-all book. You’ll be on the talk shows, go on a book tour, speaking engagements… You’ll be in demand. You'll have groupies begging for your body.

You’ll get to tell it your way. Directly to the American people. With no bloggers, press, commentators, or anyone else twisting things out of context or putting words in your mouth.

I have no doubt you believe fervently in conservatism. Writing a book will give you a pulpit to voice your most deeply held convictions. And just think of all those liberals who will be forced to read your book and then no doubt be converted to the “right” way of thinking by the power of your arguments. Just make sure you include a lot of sex and sleaze and name names and you can spout off for a good 100 pages.

You like being a loose cannon too. I just know you do. Now’s your chance to shake things up and stick it to all those jerks who took advantage of all your hard work and now won’t even return your calls. You’ve worked your ass off for them and what have they done for you? Zip & Nada respectively.

Don’t think your buddies in the WH will help you out. They’re backing away from you so fast their tassel loafers are smoking. You owe them nothing.

If you think the WH/GOP/Right Wing will reward you for toughing it out for them, think again. It’s not their style. You’ll get squat from them. If you’re going down… and you are… they’ll sooner throw you an anchor than a lifeline.

And even if they did offer you something to shut up it wouldn’t come close to the bundle you’ll make on a book.

And think about this: The higher your profile, the safer you’ll be. If you’re famous you’ll be much more difficult to make disappear.

In fact, if you take a low profile, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if you have an accident or disappear entirely. (“He must have left the country secretly. We can’t find a trace of him anywhere.”) What you could say could really hurt them. You're a liability to them now. The house of cards is getting real shakey and they could do something stupid. Watch your back, Buddy.

A good ghostwriter should be able to crank it out in a week and it could hit the streets a week after that.

The title? "I was a Prostitute for the White House" has a ring to it, though I'm sure the forces here at DU can come up with something wittier.

Write the book. Your public is waiting, Jim/Jeff.