Reply #16: I'm not sure

[jmowreader]

I believe the 2004 RNC will be divided into two parts: tying John Kerry to Satan, and worshipping Ronald Reagan. Somewhere in the archive is my RNC schedule, where they spend two days replaying old Ronnie speeches, watching Reagan movies and holding Reagan look-alike contests, and three minutes renominating Bush and Cheney. (Oh yeah, there was that part where the party brought out Saddam for people to throw dogshit at, and the delegates damn near nominated HIM to run for president until someone remembered he wasn't born in the United States.)

They won't talk about Bush's achievements because, as my man Robert DeNiro said in "The Untouchables," ya got nuthin, punk. Nuuuuuuu-thing! He fucked up Iraq. He fucked up 9/11. He fucked up the economy, jobs, education...what are they gonna do, spend two days debating his one legislative success, the Do-Not-Call List?

Besides, if they bring out Osama at the convention in September, Kerry and Edwards have two months to turn the debate back to Iraq and the economy. That's too much, especially when you consider how good Kerry and Edwards are at convincing people to go along with them.

If they really captured Osama, and they really want to use him to turn the election, he's got to be pulled out of his hidey-hole on October 28th. That's the Thursday before the election. The 29th is really too late--you announce shit you want to bury quick on Friday--and to catch the attention of the NASCAR dads Bush is attempting to court, they DO NOT want to preempt the Atlanta race, which is that weekend, with Osama-getting-"captured" video. (I wouldn't put it past them to fly him to Atlanta and display him in a paddy wagon outside the main entrance to the speedway.) And Monday is too late. So it has to be the 28th of October.