Reply #81: Romance novels

[Nadienne]

Romance novels typically have these elements: strong-willed, admirable woman meets strong man. She pisses him off, he loses his temper, and later apologizes, awkwardly. Then, towards the end, he pisses her off, or hurts her, she runs off and - like "any stupid, emotional woman" gets herself into trouble. He realizes he hurt her, and he looks for her, and he saves her just in the nick of time.

The message conveyed - perhaps intentionally - is that if he hurts you, he didn't mean it. You should stay with him even though he hurts you. Also, there is sometimes an underlying sense that "he'll accept you, even though you're an irrational, emotional, silly woman."

Romance novels also seem to have dominance/submission issues, suggesting that good, smart women submit to their "stronger" dominating counterparts, and with this submission, man and woman can work together as a pair.

I heard from a literature teacher (and former reader of romance novels) that romance novels are marketed to and written for women who had been in abusive relationships - they keep hoping for the abuser to come back into their lives. (Or perhaps she said that women who read romance novels tend to end up in abusive relationships. I have no doubt of this.)

.....

Which is all a long way of saying that society at large seems to encourage women to submit, to "be feminine", to accept abuses...