The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 377

[top10]

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 377

November 16, 2009
Teabagging Is For Nuts Edition

http://www.democraticunderground.com/donate.html">Democratic Underground Needs Your Help! Please Donate!

This week is our fourth quarter 2009 fund drive, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we are giving 10% of our proceeds to charity. We'll be contributing to a different charity on each day of the fund drive, so please http://www.democraticunderground.com/donate.html">click here to learn more about today's charity, and to make a donation to Democratic Underground!

There's a teabagathon going on this week as the lunatic fringe continues to take over the Republican Party. Don't forget the key...



Teabaggers

It's been a rotten two weeks for the teabaggers, which means it's been a good two weeks for America. On November 3rd their hand-picked candidate Doug Hoffman threw away a seat in Congress, http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/11/04/2118589.aspx">delivering New York's 23rd District to the Democrats for the first time since the late 19th Century. And this, despite major endorsements from big conservative names like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Sarah Palin. My, my.

Even better, it was the newly-minted Democratic Congressman from New York, Bill Owens, who cast a deciding vote to http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/sns-dc-health-house-final,0,5892705.story">pass the House health care bill just a few days later. Whoops!

All of which sent the teabaggers into a bit of a tizzy. On November 6th a riled-up crowd attended http://www.startribune.com/politics/69284347.html">Michelle Bachmann's Grand Capitol Steps Nut Dunk - along with many top Republican lawmakers who were happy to stand up and give speeches in front of signs like http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/05/holocaust-sign/">this one comparing health care reform to the Holocaust, complete with image of slaughtered Jewish men, women and children.


Some of the speeches were pretty great though. Take Rep. Todd Akin (R-Obviously), who told the crowd to join him in reciting the Pledge of Allegience because "it drives the liberals crazy." He then got so excited about saying the words "Under God" that he http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=385&topic_id=398803">forgot how the end goes.

Meanwhile, House Minority Leader John Boehner gave a speech and then took out his pocket Constitution and http://www.politico.com/blogs/glennthrush/1109/Boehner_mixes_up_Constitution_and_Declaration.html">pledged to "stand here with our Founding Fathers, who wrote in the pre-amble: 'We hold these truths to be self evident..."

Uh oh! Sounds like somebody needs to take a citizenship test. Come to think of it, has anybody ever seen John Boehner's birth certificate? For all we know he could be from Oompa Loompa Land.




Sarah Palin

The Republican Party truly is turning into the party of Glenn Beck conspiracy loons. Consider the recent speech Sarah Palin gave to an anti-choice group, during which she dramatically lifted the curtain on the gang of rabid anti-Christian pagan Muslim heathens who have taken over the White House.

Noting that there had been a lot of "change" of late, Palin recalled a recent conversation with a friend about how the phrase "In God We Trust" had been moved to the edge of the new coins.

"Who calls a shot like that?" she demanded. "Who makes a decision like that?"

She added: "It's a disturbing trend."

It certainly is. Curse you, Barry Soetero!

But incredibly, Palin's bullshit lay so thick on the ground that even Fox News couldn't bring themselves to clean it up. Anchor Brett Baier http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=385&topic_id=401377">reported that... guess what?

BAIER: ...in actuality the coin's design was commissioned in 2005 when Republicans controlled Congress, and then was approved by then-President Bush.

But never mind who made the decision. The point is that God has been relegated to the edge of the dollar coin from His rightful place on the front, and that Jesus-hating Democratic Congress won't do anything about it!

BAIER: Adding to that, in 2007 Congress reversed the 2005 decision and moved the phrase "In God We Trust" back to the face of the one dollar coins.

Oh, right.



John Boehner

A couple of weeks ago House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Oompa Loompa Land) officially released the Republican Party's long-awaited solution to the health care crisis. Thank goodness! I literally could not wait to learn all about the GOP's common-sense, fiscally-responsible plan to cover more Americans and bring down costs. And thanks to a non-partisan estimate by the Congressional Budget Office, we can now see just how trouser-wettingly awesome it is compared to the Democratic plan. http://voices.washingtonpost.com/ezra-klein/2009/11/congressional_budget_office_th.html">According to the Washington Post:

Late last night, the Congressional Budget Office released its initial analysis of the health-care reform plan that Republican Minority Leader John Boehner offered as a substitute to the Democratic legislation. CBO begins with the baseline estimate that 17 percent of legal, non-elderly residents won't have health-care insurance in 2010. In 2019, after 10 years of the Republican plan, CBO estimates that ...17 percent of legal, non-elderly residents won't have health-care insurance. The Republican alternative will have helped 3 million people secure coverage, which is barely keeping up with population growth. Compare that to the Democratic bill, which covers 36 million more people and cuts the uninsured population to 4 percent.

But maybe, you say, the Republican bill does a really good job cutting costs. According to CBO, the GOP's alternative will shave $68 billion off the deficit in the next 10 years. The Democrats, CBO says, will slice $104 billion off the deficit.

The Democratic bill, in other words, covers 12 times as many people and saves $36 billion more than the Republican plan. And amazingly, the Democratic bill has already been through three committees and a merger process. It's already been shown to interest groups and advocacy organizations and industry stakeholders. It's already made its compromises with reality. It's already been through the legislative sausage grinder. And yet it saves more money and covers more people than the blank-slate alternative proposed by John Boehner and the House Republicans. The Democrats, constrained by reality, produced a far better plan than Boehner, who was constrained solely by his political imagination and legislative skill.

Amazing isn't it? Without the nightmare of actually having to get a bill passed through both houses of Congress, the Republicans were free let their imaginations loose and invent any piece of fantasy they liked. And in all their wildest dreams, the best they could come up with was a plan that costs more than the Democratic plan and insures fewer people.

The good news for the GOP is that their plan has substantially fewer pages than the Democratic plan, thus making it easily marketable to the conservative base. Bill have less words? That good! Words bad! Teabag good! Tea-bag! Tea-bag! Tea-bag! Thank you man from UnitedHealthCare for pat on head.



The RNC

Perhaps before Republicans start telling everybody else how to run their shit, they should get their own shit in order. Last week it was revealed that the Cigna health insurance plan offered to employees of the Republican National Committee covers elective abortions. http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/2009/11/rnc-planning-immediate-review-of-its-abortion-coverage.html">According to ABC News, "Cigna offers its customers the opportunity to opt out of abortion coverage but the RNC chose not to opt out in 1991." Yes that's right, for the last 18 years the RNC has been providing easy access to, and paying for, abortions. Oh my.

Don't worry though - Michael Steele is on the case. He started an immediate review of the policy last week and announced that the RNC will act swiftly. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1109/29456.html">According to Politico:

"Money from our loyal donors should not be used for this purpose," Chairman Michael Steele said in a statement. "I don't know why this policy existed in the past, but it will not exist under my administration. Consider this issue settled."

Steele has told the committee's director of administration to opt out of coverage for elective abortion in the policy it uses from Cigna.

Well played, Mr. Steele! Just one problem: you're still paying Cigna for health insurance, and Cigna still covers elective abortions, so the "money from your loyal donors" is still actually funding abortion. Better luck next time.



Ezell Harris

Don't think that just because they lost NY-23 the teabaggers have given up their dreams of vindication at the ballot box. No, they've got plenty more great candidates in the wings ready to rush out and primary any Republican candidate who sits to the left of Genghis Khan.

Take for example Ezell Harris, "a Florida conservative who launched his campaign for Orlando City Council at a Tea Party rally," http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/13/ezell-harris-tea-party-ca_n_357003.html">according to the Huffington Post. Oh, he's a serious guy. The Orlando Sentinel http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_politics/2009/11/orlando-council-candidate-busted-for-drug-trafficking.html">reported last week that "Harris has a campaign website that promises to 'promote public safety' and stresses the dangers of prescription narcotics."

Which is pretty funny because the Sentinel then goes on to report that Harris...

...was booked on charges related to the sale of the prescription narcotic hydrocodone.

(snip)

Jail records show he is being held on four counts: trafficking in hydrocodone, dispensing illegal drugs without a license, unlawful use of a two-way radio, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Expect an endorsement from Rush Limbaugh any day now.



Nigel Coleman

They may seem like angry nutjobs on the surface, but the truth is that teabaggers are really just misunderstood. For example, we all know they're very much opposed to reforming health care, but perhaps we don't realize how much they enjoy being financially raped by insurance companies.

To really hammer their point home, Nigel Coleman and his merry band of teabaggers have come up with a plan. http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/11/14/tea-part-organizer-vows-to-burn-pelosi-and-perriello-in-effigy/">According to CNN:

The organizer of a "Tea Party" protest in Virginia says he intends to move forward with plans to burn House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Tom Perriello in effigy next weekend at a rally to protest Democratic health care legislation.

Hmm. Er, you don't think that might play into the stereotype of teabaggers as lunatic radicals hell-bent on violence against our democratically-elected leaders?

"We're not going to actually set Perriello on fire or Mrs. Pelosi on fire," Coleman said.

Oh, well that's okay then.



Teabaggers

For a taste of how the teabaggers might run things if they ever achieve their dream of recapturing Congress, check out http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/11/party_foul_tea_partiers_eat_their_own_in_bitter_in.php?ref=fpb">this story from Talking Points Memo:

The Tea Party movement is being ripped apart by bitter internal rancor, highlighted by a lawsuit against a former leader, vituperative name-calling, and charges of financial mismanagement and corruption.

It seems that the teabaggers have fractured into two distinct groups - the "Tea Party Patriots" and the "Tea Party Express" - and things are going downhill fast. The Tea Party Patriots just filed a lawsuit against Amy Kremer, one of their members who defected to the Tea Party Express taking control of some Tea Party Patriots websites with her.

Meanwhile, Talking Points Memo has obtained emails that "detail how a rogue faction of Tea Party Patriots is lashing out at the board for going ahead with the suit against Kremer, and challenging the board's financial management, triggering a state of acrimony that appears serious enough to threaten the upstart movement's ability to continue to mount an effective grassroots challenge to the Obama agenda."

In an email to fellow TPPers sent Wednesday, Gerald Merits called the lawsuit "the single most insane act of self destruction I have witnessed since this country elected Obama," and asked "how much donor money is being spent of (sic) suing Amy?"

For the rest of the day, the email list was consumed with charges and counter charges. In response to Merits, Josh Parker, a supporter of the board, wrote: "Amy created a situation where TPP couldn't do anything BUT sue her, then she goes on with her poor me crap. She brings this on herself and all the rest of us."

(snip)

As Wednesday wore on, the TPP internal email list degenerated into name-calling, sarcasm, and personal attacks. "Jack, you REALLY look clueless right now," Parker wrote to Staver at one point. Parker also ripped Merits for "your usual pissing and moaning without knowing nothing." And Staver deemed Parker "not worthy of a response."

Some TPPers expressed concern that the acrimony could damage the movement if exposed. "Daily Kos and other left wing interest groups are going to love running with this story," wrote one.

Well it's probably no more damaging to the movement than losing a 100-year-old House seat to the Democrats, burning the Speaker of the House in effigy, and getting arrested for drug dealing, but what the heck, let's run with it.



Orly Taitz

http://totalbuzz.freedomblogging.com/2009/11/10/obama-birthplace-lawyer-lashes-out-at-court/25011/">She's back!

Laguna Niguel attorney Orly Taitz has filed a fiery motion to revive her dismissed lawsuit challenging the legitimacy of Barack Obama's presidency. The documents filed with federal District Judge David O. Carter's Santa Ana court include allegations that a Carter law clerk previously worked for a law firm defending Obama, and that that clerk wrote most of Carter's ruling dismissing Taitz's suit.

That suit sought to prove that Obama was born in Kenya and so does not meet the qualifications to be president. Carter's Oct. 29 ruling said that removal of a president is, by the authority of the Constitution, a matter for Congress, not the courts.

In his ruling, Carter repeatedly chastised Taitz. At one point, he complains that she had her followers contact the court in an effort to sway his opinion, and at another point, he says he's received several affidavits from witnesses who say that Taitz asked them to lie to the court.

I must say though, being on the wrong end of a Taitz-ordered mob must be pretty unpleasant. You should see http://ohforgoodnesssake.com/?p=4608">what she did to Fox News last week after she was snubbed by Bill O'Reilly.




Take that, Falafel Master.



Blake Hall

There used to be a time when a man could woo a woman with chocolates and flowers or dinner and a movie. But times have changed, and apparently there's a new way to win the heart of the one you love. http://www.idahostatesman.com/newsupdates/story/966677.html">According to the Idaho Statesman:

Blake Hall, a leading figure in Idaho and national politics for 25 years, was fired Monday as a deputy prosecuting attorney in eastern Idaho and has resigned from the Republican National Committee.

Hall, a former member of the state Board of Education, pleaded guilty Friday to stalking a former girlfriend and is serving a 15-day jail sentence. He also was sentenced to a year of supervised probation. A six-month jail sentence was suspended.

Idaho Falls police reported that witnesses said Hall disposed of used condoms on the lawn of the woman's house. Nineteen condoms were turned over to police, collected on 10 different dates, according to a police report. Both Hall and his lawyer acknowledged the condoms belonged to him, according to a police report.

I suppose it's cheaper than diamonds.



Best Of The Rest

And finally, there was far too much idiocy to squeeze into ten slots this week, so here are the best of the rest.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-november-10-2009/sean-hannity-uses-glenn-beck-s-protest-footage">Sean Hannity was busted by the Daily Show after he used footage from Glenn Beck's 9/12 rally to make Michelle Bachmann's Grand Capitol Steps Nut Dunk seem larger than it really was. Meanwhile Rep. http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/11/maddow-hoekstra-leak/">Pete Hoekstra (R-MI) was blasted by Rachel Maddow after he revealed that U.S. intelligence services were monitoring the emails of a radical Muslim cleric in Yemen. Way to go, dumbass.

News from "Compassionate Conservatism" country: the Republican governor of Rhode Island, http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/11/11/national/main5608892.shtml">Don Carcieri, last week vetoed legislation that would allow gay and lesbian couples in his state to "plan the funerals of their late partners as married couples." And Sen. http://www.newsok.com/sen.-tom-coburn-stands-by-effort-to-delay-bill-for-disabled-vets/article/3416008?custom_click=pod_headline_oklahoma-state-capitol-news">Tom Coburn (R-OK) continued to "block a bill providing new health care services for veterans" - according to the Oklahoman, Coburn is "single-handedly preventing the bill from passing the Senate."

http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/67009-steele-white-republicans-are-scared-of-me">Michael Steele announced that white Republicans are afraid of him.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=51442&tsp=1">Damon Dunn, the Republican candidate for California Secretary of State, has a section on his website dedicated to "the importance of voting" - which is a bit rich given that the first time he ever voted was in May 2009. But at least you can read his website, compared to, say, the website of conservative Congressional candidate http://www.georgehutchins.com/">George Hutchins.

Rep. http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/04/wilson-dithering-dictionary/">Joe Wilson (R-SC) may be familiar with the words "you" and "lie," but he had some trouble recently with the word "dithering." Wilson said that he agreed with Dick Cheney when Cheney said that Obama was "dithering" on Afghanistan, but Wilson went on to say "I actually had to look up what 'dithering' meant."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091113/ap_on_el_pr/us_palin_book_fact_check">Sarah Palin is on a book tour! Maybe while she's out there she can explain why her book is filled with lies. If you want to compare the lies in her book to all the lies she's told in public, Andrew Sullivan has a http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/11/the-odd-lies-of-sarah-palin-a-roundup.html">handy list.

Giant wimp http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/16/us/politics/16giuliani.html?_r=1">Rudy Giuliani announced last week that he would soil his pants if the 9/11 plotters are tried in New York. "It gives an unnecessary advantage to the terrorists and why would you want to give an advantage to the terrorists, and it poses risks for New York," he said. Funnily enough, after the people who committed the first World Trade Center bombing in 1993 were tried in New York and convicted, Giuliani http://thinkprogress.org/2008/06/18/giuliani-obama/">said, "It should show that our legal system is the most mature legal system in the history of the world." Maybe Rudy wasn't thinking clearly because his best buddy http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/11/05/2009-11-05_kerik_pleads_guilty_becomes_1st_nypd_commissioner_to_become_felon.html">Bernie Kerik just became "the first NYPD Commissioner in city history to admit he's a felon," pleading guilty to eight charges of corruption.

And last but not least, http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/15/dick-cheney-2012-liz/">Liz Cheney appeared on Fox News Sunday and suggested a great candidate for president in 2012: her dad, Dick Cheney. Bill Kristol went one step further and suggested a Cheney/Palin ticket. Oh please, please, please let it be true....

Due to the Thanksgiving holiday the Top 10 will return in THREE weeks, on December 7. See you then!

--EarlG