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Reply #43: The Gingrich alternative to Social Security, in a nutshell [View All]

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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-26-11 08:11 PM
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43. The Gingrich alternative to Social Security, in a nutshell
Newt eliminates Social Security. He then sends you a box that says "Do not open until age 65."

On your 65th birthday, you open it to discover a cell phone, which has five non-expiring minutes loaded on it and one huge button in the middle, and a loaded .357 Magnum.

On the day you run out of money, you press the huge button, then use the pistol on yourself. The waste disposal personnel home in on your cell phone signal, pick up the body and deliver it to a waste disposal plant.

Two weeks later, you're on sale for $2.99 per box in your local Walmart. (And before anyone clicks "Reply" to tell me I'm a sick bastard, consider: this would be FAR more humane than letting people starve to death under Gingrich's plan.)

BTW, how long DOES it take to convert someone into Soylent Green?
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  -Newt Gingrich To Unveil Alternative To Social Security In New Hampshire Adenoid_Hynkel  Nov-21-11 05:34 AM   #0 
  - Also in his plan:  Adenoid_Hynkel   Nov-21-11 05:34 AM   #1 
  - "At last, you smelly American proles will be put in your place. Smirk." - Republicon 1%ers  SpiralHawk   Nov-21-11 05:37 AM   #3 
     - Shoulda dressed up the other end of that dog.  Brigid   Nov-21-11 02:37 PM   #38 
  - NH Invented the Alternative: Live Free or Die  Demeter   Nov-21-11 05:36 AM   #2 
  - NH is a Granite State of Mind  SpiralHawk   Nov-21-11 05:46 AM   #8 
  - The alternative: poverty, low wages, early death.  sofa king   Nov-21-11 05:42 AM   #4 
  - Tthe meanest clown in the clown car is now Tied with the changingest clown.  No Elephants   Nov-21-11 05:43 AM   #5 
  - I just unveiled a far better Alternative than NewtCase Ganggrinch  Hubert Flottz   Nov-21-11 05:44 AM   #6 
  - BTW, here's a fun retro '90s game:  Adenoid_Hynkel   Nov-21-11 05:45 AM   #7 
  - Boomers are starting to collect S.S. I don't see them going along with this.  jerseyjack   Nov-21-11 06:06 AM   #9 
  - Granted, Senior Citizens do vote heavily;  greiner3   Nov-21-11 06:56 AM   #14 
  - I'll bet the plan goes something like this: Get rich or you can starve and freeze when you're old.  bulloney   Nov-21-11 06:12 AM   #10 
  - Because, of course, we know that the average wage earner...  CBHagman   Nov-21-11 06:19 AM   #11 
  - Bush failed to sell it even during a stock market boom.  subterranean   Nov-21-11 10:10 AM   #25 
  - The Social Security Trustfund  Turbineguy   Nov-21-11 06:47 AM   #12 
  - And he would campaign on all this as the nominee in the GE  Gman   Nov-21-11 06:54 AM   #13 
  - Private accounts redux  quaker bill   Nov-21-11 07:09 AM   #15 
  - It involves lots of cardboard signs and tin cups  izquierdista   Nov-21-11 07:14 AM   #16 
  - Wow, is he going to franchise Poor Farms and Poor Houses?  Joe Bacon   Nov-21-11 07:35 AM   #17 
  - I wish Grandma Bacon were around too.  CBHagman   Nov-21-11 02:33 PM   #37 
  - let me guess: corporate run SS for profit. nt  Javaman   Nov-21-11 07:37 AM   #18 
  - It's his plan to employ the retirees...as divorce lawyers.  urgk   Nov-21-11 08:13 AM   #19 
  - We have alternatives already  Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin   Nov-21-11 08:26 AM   #20 
  - If I were one of these young people I'd wonder WHY  EC   Nov-21-11 09:38 AM   #21 
  - See, this is why I'm an atheist: no god would allow a shitty person  plumbob   Nov-21-11 09:42 AM   #22 
  - Another losing idea from the conservative un-think tanks  Auggie   Nov-21-11 09:43 AM   #23 
  - piece of shit plan, but...  Locrian   Nov-21-11 09:52 AM   #24 
  - Is he going on a Hunger Strike? n/t  Hugin   Nov-21-11 10:24 AM   #26 
  - i`m sure my kids are going to buy this bullshit  madrchsod   Nov-21-11 10:35 AM   #27 
  - Gingrich wants to steal more money.  sarcasmo   Nov-21-11 10:37 AM   #28 
  - The old Wall Street Social Insecurity scam! Typical Newt. nt  valerief   Nov-21-11 10:41 AM   #29 
  - NEW!  They_Live   Nov-21-11 10:59 AM   #30 
  - You think young people will buy this BS?  LongTomH   Nov-21-11 11:09 AM   #31 
  - I simply want an alternative to Newty!  SoapBox   Nov-21-11 11:23 AM   #32 
  - The "Newt" is losing it. nt  ladjf   Nov-21-11 12:31 PM   #33 
  - TRANSLATION: The Banksters want your SS money.  Odin2005   Nov-21-11 12:38 PM   #34 
  - George Carlin was right about everything.  Kingofalldems   Nov-21-11 12:43 PM   #35 
  - Exclusive pictures  KamaAina   Nov-21-11 02:02 PM   #36 
  - Republicans want to pay you LESS and have you save MORE? That sounds eerily like  yurbud   Nov-21-11 02:37 PM   #39 
  - translation: trust Wall Street--what could go wrong?  yurbud   Nov-21-11 02:38 PM   #40 
  - Newt = PT Barnum as psychopath  Tom Ripley   Nov-21-11 03:49 PM   #41 
  - Because 401(k)s have worked so well  KamaAina   Nov-21-11 04:47 PM   #42 
  - That's what I was going to say.  CBHagman   Nov-26-11 08:43 PM   #47 
  - The Gingrich alternative to Social Security, in a nutshell  jmowreader   Nov-26-11 08:11 PM   #43 
  - "...to enjoy prosperous retirements beyond their most optimistic expectations,..."  unkachuck   Nov-26-11 08:33 PM   #44 
  - Ooooo, how exciting. I can hardly wait. ZZZzzzzzzz  No Elephants   Nov-26-11 08:35 PM   #45 
  - And that idea was SO popular during the Bush regime  Canuckistanian   Nov-26-11 08:35 PM   #46 
 

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