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Reply #6: How Bremer Should Reply... [View All]

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Voltaire99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:34 PM
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6. How Bremer Should Reply...
"Thank you for this opportunity to explain why journalists are shot, shelled, beaten, detained and, on a good day, merely lied to and treated like idiots by our forces in Iraq.

"We do it for a host of reasons. First of all: it just feels good, especially when you're engaged in the morally challenging hard work of killing women and children. You just can't imagine how it feels to fire blindly into a crowd that's protesting something as insipid as lack of electricity or food and water. It's hard work. Takes it out of you, in fact. After that, when some journalist asks you why you offed the peasants, it's just that much more gratifying to punch him in the face.

"Another reason we do it is because there isn't a tradition of democracy yet in Iraq. Building democracy will take time--about as long, in fact, as the oil holds out. And, as everyone knows, in a non-democratic country, journalists can't expect to be treated the same way as they are in the heaven on earth known as America. Check back with us on this one in, oh, fifty, seventy-five years.

"A third reason is that journalists from foreign countries are so much less agreeable and bubbly than American reporters. We're kind of used to the new kind, the embeddeds, the Ashleys and Judys and Skips. We like 'em to understand their place. To paraphrase our president: You reporters either understood your place, or you'll be KIA. Thank you. Class dismissed."
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