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Reply #173: Mental illness. I actually feel like I can understand it, a little. [View All]

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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-08-09 02:14 PM
Response to Reply #162
173. Mental illness. I actually feel like I can understand it, a little.
Maybe I've been around it too much in my life, or just spent too much time trying to understand loved ones. A parent often feels that they are saving their child when they kill the child. It isn't really about religion, although I think religion resonates with someone in that mindset because it uses language about eternal salvation and life after death. Someone living in hell in this world--and mental illness is hell--feels that the greatest good is escaping this world, and the greatest love for someone is helping them escape, too. The idea that there might be another life is just an added bonus.

Plus, a parent feels protective, as though they are the only ones who can save their child, and leaving a child on his own is cruelty. Mix a few basic thoughts like that in with a mental illness that makes you stew on the issues and twists any logical conclusions you might otherwise reach, add the depression and terror that goes with such an illness, and the results can get mixed up.

Delving somewhat into classic psychoanalysis, too, the primary caregiving parent forms a feeling of identity around a child, so that killing a child or saving a child can be viewed as killing or saving one's self.

Just generalizations that may or may not relate to this case, though from the clips in the video she sounds like she's doing just that--saving her kid, destroying herself, and in some ways, destroying the evil world around her by destroying herself. She says that she must do this so the world can live a thousand years of peace, that she is the anti-Christ. Often that's not so much a literal belief as a statement approximating how she feels emotionally.

She needed help, she didn't get it, and tragedy ensued. It's a fucked up world that too often brings only tears.
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