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Reply #7: No kidding, and the sexual abuse may be at the hands of a female [View All]

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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-19-05 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #1
7. No kidding, and the sexual abuse may be at the hands of a female
relative, something that floored me when I first met somebody who had suffered it. I later found out the process is dismally the same for female sexual abusers of boys, that it involves inflicting pain in the genital area and that it ends as soon as puberty occurs. The guy in question was a friend, somebody who found me a great listener if not a turnon. He was into B&D and needed pain in order to climax, and yes, he did make the connection. Reading since then has turned up both this and the increased suicide rates. My friend succeeded in drinking himself to death.

What you learn when you're sexually abused as a kid is that you don't matter. What you think, what you feel, and who you might be are less important than your body parts. You become worthless and you realize no one can ever be fully trusted.

So yes, put this one in the DUH files. And yes, most survivors of childhood sexual abuse remember it very well.
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  -Boys, too, suffer long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse HuckleB  May-19-05 12:41 PM   #0 
  - Place in the DUH file  MountainLaurel   May-19-05 12:45 PM   #1 
  - I'd bet  Ysolde   May-19-05 12:49 PM   #3 
  - My assumption as well  MountainLaurel   May-19-05 12:50 PM   #5 
  - No kidding, and the sexual abuse may be at the hands of a female  Warpy   May-19-05 01:00 PM   #7 
  - You can't say "MOST remember it" because  Eloriel   May-19-05 03:54 PM   #33 
     - I did not realize I was abused until 25 years old...  jasop   May-20-05 01:13 PM   #62 
  - No kidding  TOJ   May-19-05 01:02 PM   #8 
  - From the research that I have read  TwoSparkles   May-19-05 01:11 PM   #9 
  - I'm right there with you TS  wicket   May-19-05 01:31 PM   #12 
  - Indeed. Male victims of sexual abuse are also ...  TahitiNut   May-19-05 01:54 PM   #15 
  - amen  IbeaBonehead   May-19-05 09:46 PM   #52 
  - And, sometimes  Ysolde   May-19-05 12:47 PM   #2 
  - Puritanical cultures  Project_Willow   May-19-05 08:19 PM   #49 
  - Interesting idea  Psephos   May-20-05 09:18 PM   #78 
  - Its not just this culture. Tribalism in Africa promotes sex abuses  puddycat   May-20-05 03:41 PM   #70 
  - i was gonna say "duh"  knowbody0   May-19-05 12:50 PM   #4 
  - I've read that everyone responds to trauma in their own way.  Wilms   May-19-05 12:54 PM   #6 
  - Another sad fact for victims...  TwoSparkles   May-19-05 01:21 PM   #10 
     - The mother of a grad school friend was a social worker in a rural area,  Lydia Leftcoast   May-19-05 01:37 PM   #14 
     - I've heard stories like that as well...  TwoSparkles   May-19-05 03:17 PM   #26 
     - Fabulous post -- thanks  Eloriel   May-19-05 04:01 PM   #34 
     - I really wish people would quit making this a male only perpetration..  jasop   May-20-05 01:19 PM   #63 
  - Is sexual abuse really that prevalent?  Onlooker   May-19-05 01:21 PM   #11 
  - It's pandemic and globalised.  Karenina   May-19-05 02:01 PM   #18 
  - I've seen studies that put it as high as 2 in 5 girls  wicket   May-19-05 02:21 PM   #21 
  - the numbers we were given  BareNakedLiberal   May-20-05 12:15 PM   #60 
     - horrible  wicket   May-20-05 09:40 PM   #80 
  - Why is there always, ALWAYS someone in these threads who  Ripley   May-19-05 02:57 PM   #25 
  - Study after study echoes the "one in four girls and one in six boys"...  TwoSparkles   May-19-05 03:32 PM   #27 
  - It seems crazy to me that people are in such denial about this.  Ripley   May-19-05 03:41 PM   #29 
     - The media doesn't help...  TwoSparkles   May-19-05 04:07 PM   #35 
     - Actually our society is so sick that "incest" is fodder for jokes,  Ripley   May-19-05 04:12 PM   #36 
        - Think of the language issues as well  MountainLaurel   May-19-05 06:48 PM   #45 
     - denial is a defense mechanism.  Shallah   May-20-05 12:50 AM   #54 
  - Sources to ponder.  HuckleB   May-19-05 03:42 PM   #30 
  - The adults aren't always from the household  ccbombs   May-19-05 05:43 PM   #43 
  - Bear in mind  geniph   May-20-05 02:14 PM   #65 
  - Unfortunately, I have no trouble believing these numbers  fishwax   May-20-05 03:29 PM   #69 
  - And why wouldn't it? This is stupid.  Miss Chybil   May-19-05 01:34 PM   #13 
  - Did they ever actually think that  Megahurtz   May-19-05 01:55 PM   #16 
  - stupidest headline ever??  LifeDuringWartime   May-19-05 01:56 PM   #17 
  - Well now that's cleared up...Did you all know there are now 50 states?  Sean Reynolds   May-19-05 02:08 PM   #19 
  - Unfortunately, it's not clear for many people.  HuckleB   May-19-05 06:22 PM   #44 
  - You'd be surprised  TNOE   May-19-05 02:08 PM   #20 
  - Indeed.  HuckleB   May-19-05 02:31 PM   #23 
  - "Seems to have a fixation with fire and lighters."  mcscajun   May-19-05 04:14 PM   #37 
     - God, thanks for your input  TNOE   May-19-05 04:55 PM   #40 
        - I've very much gotten myself together. Thank You.  mcscajun   May-19-05 08:16 PM   #48 
  - No shit. Does anyone seriously think  bennywhale   May-19-05 02:23 PM   #22 
  - As part of my Corrections caseload, I'm the psychologist for  Jackpine Radical   May-19-05 02:50 PM   #24 
  - The False Memory charlatans can kiss my butt...  TwoSparkles   May-19-05 04:38 PM   #38 
     - I also "forgot" until 1996 at age 39  lilymercury   May-19-05 05:41 PM   #42 
        - Yes, repression undeniably can happen  AlienGirl   May-19-05 07:20 PM   #46 
           - I don't think FMSF claims that there's no such thing as repression.  HuckleB   May-19-05 07:27 PM   #47 
              - Yes, the FMSF DOES claim that repression doesn't happen...  TwoSparkles   May-20-05 12:11 AM   #53 
                 - They use "repression" as a strawman  Project_Willow   May-20-05 03:52 AM   #55 
                 - I'm sorry.  HuckleB   May-20-05 08:04 AM   #56 
                    - I'm sorry too  Project_Willow   May-20-05 03:28 PM   #68 
                       - I've seen the evidence.  HuckleB   May-20-05 08:46 PM   #74 
                 - Thank you.  HuckleB   May-20-05 08:29 AM   #58 
                 - I remember my mother SCREECHING  Karenina   May-20-05 04:18 PM   #71 
  - NSS  Solly Mack   May-19-05 03:40 PM   #28 
  - Normal Saline Solution?  HuckleB   May-19-05 08:50 PM   #50 
     - No shit, Sherlock  Solly Mack   May-19-05 09:40 PM   #51 
  - Oh, but boys' suffering is *special*.  Lilith Velkor   May-19-05 03:44 PM   #31 
  - I'm surprised anyone would think they DON'T.  Bouncy Ball   May-19-05 03:47 PM   #32 
  - This comes as no surprise  AlienGirl   May-19-05 04:50 PM   #39 
  - Any parents with sons in Wellfleet, Nebraska  lilymercury   May-19-05 05:21 PM   #41 
  - I don't live in your area but I have a similar problem  tinfoilinfor2005   May-20-05 09:08 PM   #77 
  - Mary Kay Latourneau is marrying her victim today.  Evergreen Emerald   May-20-05 08:20 AM   #57 
  - you only wish that most abuse  BareNakedLiberal   May-20-05 12:13 PM   #59 
  - Huh?  HuckleB   May-20-05 01:05 PM   #61 
     - The claim that "most victims become perpetrators"  geniph   May-20-05 02:27 PM   #66 
        - in my work with abused children  BareNakedLiberal   May-20-05 03:10 PM   #67 
        - Absolutely.  Jackpine Radical   May-22-05 02:44 PM   #82 
  - Of course they do ( feminist rant)  noonwitch   May-20-05 01:50 PM   #64 
  - Umm.  HuckleB   May-20-05 09:01 PM   #76 
  - Did someone doubt this?  leesa   May-20-05 04:33 PM   #72 
  - How many studies of the obvious do there have to be???  Seabiscuit   May-20-05 04:35 PM   #73 
     - Unfortunately, much of what was once considered obvious,  HuckleB   May-20-05 08:50 PM   #75 
        - HuckleB, I read all your posts in this thread...  Psephos   May-20-05 09:34 PM   #79 
        - I don't think this type of research will have any imact on anyone.  Seabiscuit   May-22-05 12:58 PM   #81 
           - Hmm.  HuckleB   May-24-05 08:52 AM   #83 
              - I hope you're right in this case.  Seabiscuit   May-24-05 11:28 AM   #84 

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