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I'd like to thank
y'all good Americans for showin' up today. Today I'd like to talk
about some nasty things certain folks — certain un-American folks
— who I won't name but whose name begins with D and ends
in emocrats and who are makin' my life hell and generally
pissin' me off. These folks say I ain't doin' nothin' to fix the
dang economy.
Well, I'm tellin'
you, here and now, that's the biggest load of bullcocky I've ever
heard in my whole dang life and those folks who say I don't care
that the economy's in the crapper, that the stock market is so low
it's considerin' suicide, that people ain't buyin' nothin', that
companies ain't earnin' enough, or that big companies are cheatin'
their stockholders are big fat liars.
Why the heck do
they think I want that Homeland Security Bill passed? I know what
you're thinkin' — what does Homeland Security have to do with the
economy? But if Americans ain't secure, they ain't gonna spend money
to buy a good or a service, and companies ain't gonna make any money
and ain't gonna make new job for folks . . . and without jobs, folks
ain't got money to spend on a good or a service. That's the Circle
of Life Principle of Economics — or, as I like to call it, Ah-koon-na-ma-ta-ta.
Those good Americans
in the House of Representatives got the job done, but the Senate
— now, I ain't pointin' fingers at them dang Democrats, even though
they do control the Senate. Those un-American folks in the Senate
don't care about the security of America. All they wanna do is give
me — your President — a hard time. Well, don't you let them fool
you good American folks. They're tryin' to trick you good Americans
by tryin' to pass Homeland Security without givin' me my God-given
power to hire and fire as I dang-well please.
All that has to
do with unions — and make no mistake, unions are downright un-American.
Unions are bad, vile, evil, nasty things and if given the chance
they'll destroy America. Do you good, fine Americans know who likes
unions? That evil-doer Saddam Hussein, that's who. And that devil,
Osama Bin Laden, who was responsible for the September 11th, attacks
on America.
You just remember
that when it comes time to vote in the November elections. If you
want lots of money in your pocket, if you want America to be strong
and secure and better than any other country in the world — you
vote Republican!!
Republican — good.
Demo-rat — bad, bad, bad!!!!!
Most of you good
Americans know about our tragic loss this past weekend in the Ryder
Cup against them dang Europeans. Well, if you vote Republican, I
can guarantee next time we Americans will seriously whoop them dang
Europeans and show 'em who's boss.
Republican, Republican,
Republican!
I've always believed
in that philosophy our fore-daddies, who founded this great country,
believed in — they even put it on flags and stuff. That philosophy
says — Don't tread on me! And as long as I'm president and as long
as there are Republicans in every office, every American is gonna
have lots of money, America is gonna be secure and safe, and no
one is gonna dare tread on us!
God bless y'all.
God bless the G.O.P. And God bless America!
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