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I'd
like to thank y'all good Americans for showin'
up today. Today I'd like to talk about some nasty
things certain folks — certain un-American folks
— who I won't name but whose name begins with
D and ends in emocrats and who are
makin' my life hell and generally pissin' me off.
These folks say I ain't doin' nothin' to fix the
dang economy.
Well,
I'm tellin' you, here and now, that's the biggest
load of bullcocky I've ever heard in my whole
dang life and those folks who say I don't care
that the economy's in the crapper, that the stock
market is so low it's considerin' suicide, that
people ain't buyin' nothin', that companies ain't
earnin' enough, or that big companies are cheatin'
their stockholders are big fat liars.
Why
the heck do they think I want that Homeland Security
Bill passed? I know what you're thinkin' — what
does Homeland Security have to do with the economy?
But if Americans ain't secure, they ain't gonna
spend money to buy a good or a service, and companies
ain't gonna make any money and ain't gonna make
new job for folks . . . and without jobs, folks
ain't got money to spend on a good or a service.
That's the Circle of Life Principle of Economics
— or, as I like to call it, Ah-koon-na-ma-ta-ta.
Those
good Americans in the House of Representatives
got the job done, but the Senate — now, I ain't
pointin' fingers at them dang Democrats, even
though they do control the Senate. Those un-American
folks in the Senate don't care about the security
of America. All they wanna do is give me — your
President — a hard time. Well, don't you let them
fool you good American folks. They're tryin' to
trick you good Americans by tryin' to pass Homeland
Security without givin' me my God-given power
to hire and fire as I dang-well please.
All
that has to do with unions — and make no mistake,
unions are downright un-American. Unions are bad,
vile, evil, nasty things and if given the chance
they'll destroy America. Do you good, fine Americans
know who likes unions? That evil-doer Saddam Hussein,
that's who. And that devil, Osama Bin Laden, who
was responsible for the September 11th, attacks
on America.
You
just remember that when it comes time to vote
in the November elections. If you want lots of
money in your pocket, if you want America to be
strong and secure and better than any other country
in the world — you vote Republican!!
Republican
— good. Demo-rat — bad, bad, bad!!!!!
Most
of you good Americans know about our tragic loss
this past weekend in the Ryder Cup against them
dang Europeans. Well, if you vote Republican,
I can guarantee next time we Americans will seriously
whoop them dang Europeans and show 'em who's boss.
Republican,
Republican, Republican!
I've
always believed in that philosophy our fore-daddies,
who founded this great country, believed in —
they even put it on flags and stuff. That philosophy
says — Don't tread on me! And as long as I'm president
and as long as there are Republicans in every
office, every American is gonna have lots of money,
America is gonna be secure and safe, and no one
is gonna dare tread on us!
God
bless y'all. God bless the G.O.P. And God bless
America!
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