Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"At Last, The Tunnel of Light is Around
the End of the Corner in Iraq!"
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
Ha Ha Ha! To all you nay-sayers and Sodom-appeasers who have been
saying things are a quagmeyer in Iraq because Our Great President
is an incompetent and corrupt drunk. Well, the quagmeyer part is
no longer true! We are officially on the road to victory in Iraq,
no matter how many people it kills! Dick Cheney says
so and that is good enough for me! Which accounts for the sunny
mood at the White House these days.
So all of those LIEberals and firebrant moderates who poo-poo’d
that our troops would be showered with rose pedals when we invaded,
and who poopoo’d when Our Great President flew that airplane himself
to say "Mission Accomplished," and who poopoo’d when George W. walked
around with a turkey at Thanksgiving, and who poopoo’d when Sodom
was caught in his spider hole, and who poopoo’d when people got
blue fingers from the election, now have a new reason to poo-poo.
But who cares, except people who have family members or friends
in Iraq, and there are not very many of those
thanks to George Bush. And not because he has gotten them all killed
and wounded, so stop saying that! There are still some soldiers
And the success in Iraq is just one of the many great successes
by Our Great President if only anyone could see them. For example,
even though he was on his ranch in Texas, people told him that a
plane was hijacked,
even though it turned out not to be! And he listened! That is the
sort of steal trap mind George W. has.
Which it does not mean that it was a mistake when the small plane
buzzed Washington DC but nobody told George W. while he was bicycle
riding. They were following protocol, which as we can see from this
means only tell Our Great President about emergencies when there
And what could be more absurd then Anmesty Intentional calling
our concentration camp in Gwantanamo a goolag? Really, just because
we torture people there and hold them without trial does not mean
that any abuses of human rights are going on that anyone can prove,
since we are keeping people who might prove it out.
After all, if people could prove prisoners were being mistreated
it would not prove anything except that bleeding heart knee jerk
people who care about human rights were more concerned with justice
and human rights than on keeping Our Great President from looking
bad in public. Especially for things George did not have anything
to do with and would condemn if he knew they were happening, which
you cannot prove, since you do not know for sure that he got the
memo about why prisoners can be tortured, which does not prove anything
You cannot blame Our Great Secretary of Defensive Donald Rumfilled
or Our Great Vice President from Halliburton Dick Cheney. I think
we should blame the Geneva Convention, which is outmoded and quaint
when it comes to torturing Muslins and other terrorists, but not
when it keeps pictures of torture hidden
at our other concentration camp in Iraq, which is not a goolag either.
Speaking of not blaming anyone, it is all the guy who was Deep
Throat’s fault that the Viet Nam War ended when it did instead of
going on for many more years. After all, he was the one who unfairly
showed what Richard Nixon who was not a crook was up to with great
patriots like Chuck Colson and G. Gordon Liddy. And yes, they went
to jail for it, but that does not mean it was as wrong as telling
other people about what they did. And so Mark Felt will have to
go down into the golden pages of history books of tomorrow wearing
the most shameful label of all: tattletale.
Enclosing, let us salute the brave panel of conservative thinkers,
including Phyllis Schafly, who you cannot prove is crazy, that put
together a long list of books
that ought to be burned before more people read them. It is a shame
that these so-called authors have forced people to stop obeying
authority blindly by putting ideas and thoughts out where they could
be read. I am proud to say I have never read any of these books
and I bet Our Great President has never read any of them either,
and not just because none of them has a pet goat, despite what Mrs.
Brown Rosenfeld says.
It is especially disgraceful that one discussed education and helped
nurture the Clinton generation, which led to the shame of a President
not being driven out of office just because there was no evidence
of wrongdoing! Let the fire of freedom be lit to burn these books
and any other ones that make people think! Amen.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who you could not prove
started a fire in the public library, if there was one. He can be
reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read Bob's Other Rebuttals