Time with Bob Boudelang
"You Can Take My Bush Sweatshirt From My Cold Dead Hands, So There!"
March 20, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
Aided by the LIEberal media, they have come out and said that we Republican team leaders are getting sweatshirts made from sweatshops overseas. And not just any sweatshops, but ones from Burma, where it is illegal to get sweatshirts from sweatshops in this country. Imagine!
Well, first of all you go to a fish store for fish. Where else are you going to get sweatshirts if you do not get them from sweatshops?
Second of all, after all the trouble I had getting a hat and I still do not have a hat, I finely got my sweatshirt not too long ago, which I am wearing proudly every day to show my support for Our Great President, despite the smell. And I can tell you, like Charlatan Heston with his gun, you can take my sweatshirt from my cold dead hands. Accept that I do not have All Zymer's Disease, which I think should be renamed for Our Greatest Ever President Ronald Reagan or for the NR of A president Charlatan Heston to show what conservative thought really means.
And it ruined such a good week for Our Great President too, as America celebrated the anniversary of Our Great President's War in Iraq, which is not a terrible disaster and made everybody in the world safer, if you don't count all the bombings and killings, that I certainly do not count.
Which the people in Spain should not have counted when they voted out George W.'s good friend President Anzar, just because trains blew up and he blamed the wrong people. It shows why Florida was right to not count votes (which you cannot prove Jeb had anything to do with) and why elections should be canceled.
Now the new President of Spain says he will take all his troops out of Iraq, which does not mean that the coalition is crumbling.
And South Korea will not send its troops where Our Great president wants, which does not mean that the coalition is crumbling.
And the Polish president says he was "taken for a ride and deceived," which does not mean that the coalition is crumbling.
We are still having a glorious cakewalk in Iraq (and it was the Navy's fault that Our Great President dressed in a pilot costume and stood in front of a sign that said "Mission Accomplished.") The coalition is as strong and powerful as ever, even if we still cannot name the countries who are in it for reasons that ought to be obvious even to someone like you.
But it is disgraceful to see Spain pull out of the coalition and all the cakewalk in Iraq just to appease Alkaheeda by going after them because they bombed the train, instead of pretending it was the Basket Seperatists like President Anzar would of. I am calling on all of the loyal readers of my column within the sound of the voice of whoever is reading this allowed to join me in trying to change the name of Taco Belle to Freedom Belle in protest, like we did with French toast, which sure showed them!
Speaking of who cannot be named, it is horrible that John F Karey will not tell us the names of the foreign leaders who want him to be president so we can hate them for that reason. Instead we will just have to hate foreigners without a reason, as usual.
Our Great President Bush does not have this problem, as just this week a foreign leader announced that he was supporting him. Unfortunately it was Alkaheeda, but still!
Alkaheeda rightly said that John Kerry and the Democraps would "embarass blasphemy and present it as civilization" just like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell and other great Republicans have said. Which you can see is true for yourself, with their support for gayo-Americans and abortions and evolution and public schools without prayers and the like.
If you can believe it, the Alkaheeda also said that John Kerry will murder them in their sleep. I was shocked that they would say such a thing, since everyone knows it is George W. who is a murderer. Let us see where John F. Karey ever killed anyone whose lawyer was asleep! I ask you! Even Our Great First Lady Laura Bush ran over her ex-boyfriend with a car, which you cannot show Mrs Karey ever did.
When I told Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld that I wanted to put a new sign on my trailer, she shook her head. But when I told her what I wanted it to say, she went and got another old sheet and even gave me money to go buy paint. That is how badly John F. Karey has alienated even hardcore fanatical moderates like her!
And so everyone driving by the Daisyview now sees a big sign that says "Democrats will kill terrorists! Right!" Let us hope that GOP Team leaders all over the country are doing the same, and that it will all roll downhill for Our Great President this summer! Amen.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who did not just make up the names of people on his team to get free merchandise. You could e-mail him at email@example.com but many of the people on his team have probably changed their e-mail address which is why you cannot reach them and the sweatshirt smells like fish now anyway.
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