Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!
Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!
Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!"
October 23, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
I guess there could not be anything that shows clearer what a danger
John Kerry is than Our Great President's new ad that says "Wolf!"
That is the message everyone should take away from us Republicans
as they try to vote if they are allowed to this November: "Wolf!"
"Wolf!" is an exciting new tack in the George W. Bush campaign
to tell Americans how unsafe they would be if John Skerry is elected,
and not at all like all the other times he has told Americans how
unsafe they would be if John Skerry is elected. That is why I am
so excited about "Wolf!" I know others are, too, because I see them
smile and sometimes point as I walk down the street with my "W"
hairdo, holding my handmade "George W. Bush is not an incompetent
drunk so stop saying that!" sign and shouting "Wolf!" So there.
Even Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld admits "Wolf!" sums up Our Great President's
message to a tea.
As the ad says, the terrorists will pounce if there is weakness.
And "weakness" does not mean sitting still and listening to My Pet
Goat when the country is attacked, which was not "weakness" but
was not scaring children. And "weakness" does not mean running to
hide when the country was attacked which Our Great President did
only to be safe. By "weakness" the ad means having allies such as
France and Germany and being able to explain to the U of N why we
go to war. The terrorists are just waiting for something like that.
But there is no danger that terrorists will attack while there
is a tough talking guy like George W. in office, unless you count
the time they did, which hardly anybody does. Besides that was Slick
Willie Klintoon's fault for reasons that are so obvious that they
would insult your intelligents if I was to tell them to you. So
do not ask and I mean it. Besides, that memo that said Bin Laden
was only historical, as Concertina Rice says, and the memo was too
vague to do anything about except try to cover it up, anyway.
Speaking of Concertina Rice, what could be a clearer indication
of "Wolf!" than her being out on the campaign
trailfor Our Great President? After all, if there was any real
danger of attack, I am sure she would be back at her desk in Washington,
working on whatever it is she does. But instead she is warning
voters that there will only be danger if Kerry is elected. Churchy
le fem, as our friends South of the Border say.
It is important for voters to keep their mind on "Wolf!" After
all, if George W. had not cried "Wolf!" last year, we might not
of had this terrific cakewalk
in Iraq, which is going so well if you don't count the casualties
and the like. But he DID cry "Wolf!" and he deserves all the voters
can give him for it.
So "Wolf!" to our great war on terror. If John Kerry is elected,
we run the risk of having people who funnel money to rogue
states like Iran dealt with by law enforcement instead of being
put in charge of Homeland Security. And yes, the Homely Chairman
of Security Grano did send money to Iran and get fined for it, but
that does not mean he is guilty of anything but getting caught.
And no, he did not tell Homely Security of Security Ridge or Our
Great President that he had got caught illegally sending money to
Iran and Libya, but then he knew they were busy with "Wolf!" to
bother with trifling technicalities like that.
And speaking of trifling, who was not glad to see that Our Great
Brother of the President with Herpes
Bush has got out of his sickbed to help Our Great President spread
the message of "Wolf!" in Florida. And remember it was only herpes
Neil got from the teenage prostitutes in Thighland, not the clap,
and anyway he did not pay them, so there!
And yes, Our Great President was warned
there would be a flu shot shortage, but he sensibly did not do anything,
because it could lead to the evils of government health care like
they got in Canada and the country formerly known as France but
now known as Freedom. That is more important than a few whiny sick
people. Anyway, George W. is going to get flu shots someday
from Canada and Freedom,
so there is nothing to worry about.
So do not get distracted from "Wolf!" just because you may get
sick and die. Remember, "Wolf!"
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who has never had a flu
shot or herpes in his life and is proud of it. You can reach him
at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have an extra ticket to Thighland.
Read Bob's Other Rebuttals