Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"So What if Mary Cheney is a Gay Lesbian
or Bill O. Reilly Has Sex With Falafels?!?"
October 16, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
it was another triumph for Our Great President in the debates, even
if he did drool in public. But that goes to show he is as human
as the next guy, if not more so. He is the kind of guy you and I
would like to go out and have a beer with, if you were buying and
if he could still drink.
And yes, he did say something about the news organizations and
laugh to himself for no reason, but that does not mean he is a dangerous
lunatic. It was just a light-hearted moment that I hope everyone
will forget they ever heard, okay?
Instead let us think about important issues, like what a swell
jobs program No Child Left Behind is, and how since we have that
program we do not have to raise the minimum wage.
It was an aspiring treat to see Our Great President in action,
and despite what Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld says, he did not look at all
like Crazy Googenheim, as you can see for yourself.
||Our Great President
Yes, George W. is keeping drugs from Canada away from old people
for their own protection and not to make executives at drug companies
but he is going all the way to Canada to get old people flu shots
even though they can't
have them. That sort of plan shows that Our Great President's
mind is always working, or something.
By the way, even Mrs. Rosenfeld was impressed that George W. said
he was not getting a flu shot. "He already acts overmedicated,"
And who is not out and raged that John F. Kerry had the nerve to
mention that Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter Mary
Cheney is a gay lesbian of the homosexual variety. Why should this
even be an issue? After all, it is not like Mary Cheney is the least
upset about not being able to marry or being hated by folks like
Marilyn Musgrave and Alan Keyes, and she doesn't seem to care that
she going to burn in hell forever as everybody knows gayo-Americans
will. So it is wrong for John F. Kerry to say she ought not to be
discriminated against and shows he will say anything to get elected,
no matter how kind or tolerant of other people it is.
But make no mistake about it, this is a cynical and shallow attempt
by the DemoncRats to make the people who were going to vote for
Our Great President because they know he hates Gayo Americans the
way they do think twice about it. But it will not work, because
I know people like me will not think twice, or even at all.
Instead we are shocked at how low Socialist LIEberals are willing
to go to win by all costs necessary. So Bill O. Reilly wants to
have sex with a falafel?
So what? Like Mary Cheney losing civil rights that she ought not
to have, that sort of thing is best left unmentioned by civilized
people like you and me, especially me. There is no reason to pry
into someone's private life for political
Besides it is not like it is hurting anyone to have sex with a
falafel, unless you slip on the cole slaw that falls out. Not that
I ran out and got a falafel from the pushcart on the corner and
tried having sex with it in the alley behind the fish store because
Bill O. Riley had done it. So stop laughing and pointing and saying
Meanwile, things could not be going better for Our Great President
in Iraq if he tried. Hardly anyone has noticed the platoon defying
an order over a suicide mission to deliver contaminated fuel
to an American army base, and anyway they have been arrested so
that is the end of the story.
And it was brave of George W. to stand up to the U of N and oppose
rights like that. Freedom and human rights is on the march,
and it is important we stop it before tyrants like the Europeans
stop it, the way they would of stopped our cakewalk in Iraq if they
But instead we have a brave and forceful leader like Our Great
President who will not let other countries run roughshod over us
and let women have sex rights, especially not if they don't want
to have sex rights with men, like Mary Cheney evidently does not,
even though we should not mention that. But that does not mean there
is anything wrong with a falafel now and then in the privacy of
your own home or behind a dumpster, and anyway you cannot prove
that is how I fell down and hurt my bottom.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who is outraged that
anyone would think there was anything wrong with falafel sex. You
can reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org
if you know where he can take a hot shower.
Read Bob's Other Rebuttals