Time with Bob Boudelang
"Forget the Sex Scandal and the Cursing - It Is the Democraps
Who Are Wide-Eyed!!"
June 26, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
last the lid of the truth of the whole story has been ripped
off by us Republicans and the entire world can see what wide-eyed
raving fanatics those moderate and liberal Democraps really
George W. to Hitler out loud! Yes, Our Great President DID
dress up in a military uniform to celebrate a war for no reason
against a country that had not attacked us and he DID torture
people to death, but gee wiz! Is that any reason to be rude?
It is heartening to those of us like me who have a fanatical
devotion to Our Great President to see he is hitting back
again before the DemocRats do. The last ad for George W. had
Ronald Reagan in it and this one has Hitler in it! Maybe the
next one will have Jesus in it saying "Vote for George W.
or go to H-e-double hockey pucks!" At least that is what I
And that is why every true American who goes to the poles
this November to vote will vote for the Republicans who curse
and have kinky sex and not the wide-eyed democraps who do
not. And that is because we Republicans curse and go to sex
clubs with honor and dignity and family values and optimism.
And by sex clubs, of course I mean the Great Almost Senator
from Indiana or Someplace Like That who was unfairly railroaded
out of office before he could be elected to it, just because
he made his wife go to sex clubs so other people could watch.
I mean gee wiz, it is not like she is anything but an actress.
Does this look like the face of a man who does anything indecent?
And yet he is now under the sheets in disgrace while Slick
Willy Klintoon is making millions for his "so-called" book.
Friends, the hippocracy is amazing, isnšt it?
But at least Our Great Almost Senator has Resigned With Honor
so he could spend more time with his family, if he still had
one. And I do not care what socialist Democraps and other
perverts say, I myself would be proud to go with him to a
sex club any time, as long as he understood I only wanted
to watch and he paid.
Especially the one with the whips and chains. Not that torture
is all right, even if the memos say so. But Rush Limbaugh
says it is harmless fun and that is good enough for me, as
long as I can watch and don't have to have any.
And by cursing, yes, I meant Our Great Vice President Dick
Cheney who has not been indicted yet, did curse at Senator
Leaky (haha) in the Senate, but he deserved it because Leaky
had the nerve to mention Halliburton in public.
What an outrage it is that the same people who are pretending
that there is no link between Sodom Husane and Alkaheeda just
because there is no evidence are also pretending that there
is some sort of link
between Halliburton and Dick Cheney just because he is still
on their payroll and Halliburton got billions of dollars worth
of no-bid contracts and somebody in Cheney's office wrote
a memo approving the deals. Gee wiz, better put some more
tin in your foil hat before you start spreading these wide-eyed
theories like firebrant moderates and LIEberals do!
It is a crying shame that a tiny minority want to derail
the progress that has been made so far in this country. For
one thing, Our Great President is on the verge of handing
over sovrinity in Iraq to someone over there next week, assuming
they live until then.
For another thing, the Supremes on the Court have ruled that
Our Great Vice President can keep the people he met with from
Enron a secret, so no-one can prove he met with Enron. Nothing
to see here, move along.
And Our Great Health Inhuman Services Secretary Tommy "Tommy"
Thompson has announced a swell new plan where one out of every
ten lucky people with cancer will actually get medicine for
it! What could be fairer than a lottery
Perhaps Mrs. First Lady Bush (who only killed that one guy
and I wish you would not bring that up) will dress up in an
evening gown like Vanilla White and read the numbers off the
ping-pong balls on national TV, so people at home can find
out whether they are going to die or not.
But there will be 50,000 lucky winners. Of course, they will
still have to pay for the drugs, but at least they will be
able to, assuming they will be able to.
Wala! You would not of had an exciting game like that with
DemocRats in charge. I think we all know that.
Sadly, that kind of thinking is not enough for our wide-eyed
LIEberal running-dog yellow media journalism, which is suing
to get Our Great President's National Guard records instead
of talking about how John Scarey faked his war wounds and
got a Silver Star he did not deserve when he was hiding from
the draft by volunteering for Viet Nam.
Speaking of wide-eyed "blame America first" hatemongers,
nobody at all wants to see Michael Moore's new propaganda
film, which is why it makes real American patriots like me
sick to see the lines at the movies. There are even longer
lines for this one than there were for the last film of his
that nobody wanted to see. I do not know why he does not move
to the country formerly known as France as Alex Baldwin promised
he would do.
It is a disgrace that in the land of the free that this "person"
should be allowed to say what he wants, and that even blocking
distribution of the film and hiring PR agencies to conduct
letter-writing campaigns and sending death threats to theater
owners and trying to get the government to stop the ads for
it leaves us Republicans powerless to stop him.
And the saddest part of all is that like the 9/11 commission
it could easily have been averted. But no.
I asked my friend Kenny who used to be in my malicious but
now is the Ku Klux Klan if he would like to help me protest
Michael Moore's unAmerican film at the Lowe's Amblyopia downtown.
But his mom would not drive him as she wanted to stay home
and watch the Crocodile Humper on the T and V, and Kenny will
not take the bus anymore since the time
on election day we had a little problem. As if it is my fault
he has asthma and hammer toes and cannot run away like I can.
So I took the bus myself, and I thought I would wear my hood
like the guy at Abu Ghariff so people would remember what
Our Great President did there which was no worse than a fraternity
plank. Also I thought it would help me get in since there
was a contratomp last time when I tried to see the Passion
of Mel Gibson. And it was utterly unwarranted I must say,
because how did theater manager know that wasn't a real student
ID when I kept my thumb over the picture? (For that matter,
how did he know that wasn't me when I was younger and a girl?
I still think it is ageism and sexistism at work)
Well, the bus driver would not let me wear my hood on the
bus, and then I left it when I reached the stop. It was my
plan to sit there until the half way part and then demand
my money back in a dramatic protest. But I could hardly help
myself from shouting out "Our Great President is not a liar!"
soon after the movie started.
Unfortunately, some dedicated leftists sitting behind me
complained that they could not hear what the donkey was saying
to the green giant (a donkey - tell me that is not a hint
that this was Democrap propaganda of the worst sort) and the
ushers threw me out in the street like yesterday's noose.
And worst of all, the manager would not give me my money
back. And so I had to walk home all that way. And it rained.
But at least I was not wide eyed. So there!
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader and military veteran
who will punch Michael Moore in the nose if you hold him and
this cold from the wet sock where my shoe has a hole goes
away. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.