Time with Bob Boudelang
"Bwahahahahaha Lefties! Ronald Reagan Will Still Be Dead
June 12, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
bet every person like me is practically dancing with glee
that Our Greatest President Ever Ronald Reagan is dead, and
will still be dead in November when election time rolls around.
Take that, all you lieberals, and firebrant moderates, and
Democraps, and blacko-Americans, and Gayo-Americans, and Hispanish
Americans, and minority-Americans, and peacemongers, and union
goons, and public school pimps, and old people, and differently
unabled, and tree hugging envirowhackos, and femiNazis, and
Jews, and intellectuals, and poor people, and unemployed people,
and every other of those powerful special interest groups
that oppressed white men with their PC and their rights! Ronald
Reagan is dead dead dead!!
At last the white males who built this nation and died for
its freedom get to have a hero in Ronald W. Reagan, so shut
up and move to Communist Canada if you disagree. And I am
sure if they were not dead they would rise from their graves
if they were not cremated or rotted away and point out that
it is no coincidence that Ronald "W" has the same middle initial
as Our Great President has a middle initial. Which is "W,"
the greatest of all the 50 letters of the alphabet. Explain
THAT, Mr. Atheist! If this is not proof of God's plan for
the greatest country in the whole stinking world, I do not
know what is.
So let us look back on the many accomplishments of Our Greatest
President Ever Ronald Reagan, who was not afraid to hide his
arms shipments to places like Iran and Iraq so that he could
fund the Contras secretly to stand up to the nuns and peasants
terrorizing friendly dictators throughout Central America.
I was proud to stand with him as we took on the vicious tyrants
of mighty Grenada, and if it was not for us, we might be cowering
under their bootheels today if they had boots, although most
people go barefoot or wear sandals down there.
And yes, we were in eminent danger from Grenada, although
you cannot prove Reagan ever said that, just like you cannot
prove George W. said why we went into Iraq. It was not just
so that nobody would notice that Reagan did nothing about
the 240 Marines killed in Lebanon but continue to sell arms
to the people who had killed them. And nobody did notice at
the time, but that was just a coincidence.
And yes, he did put a wreath on SS graves at Bitburg in Germany
after he said he wasn't going to. And yes he did fall asleep
while talking to the Pope. And yes, more than 135 of his officials
were convicted or forced to resign to avoid a trial.
But who can forget all the things the Great Communicationer
said? "I don't recall." ... "Catsup is a vegetable." ... "I
don't recall." ... "Trees cause pollution." ... "I don't recall."
... "Facts are stupid things." ... "I don't recall." ... "Is
it news that some fellow out in South Succotash someplace
has just been laid off, that he should be interviewed nationwide?"
... "I don't recall."... "Maybe it's because we're doing so
much and appointing so many that we're no longer seeking a
token or something." ... "I don't recall." ... "The Contras
are the moral equivalent of our Founding Fathers." ... "I
don't recall." ... "I did approve the arms deal. I just can't
say specifically when." ... "I don't recall." ... "You know,
if I listened to him long enough, I would be convinced that
we're in an economic downturn, and that people are homeless,
and people are going without food and medical attention, and
that we've got to do something about the unemployed." ...
"I don't recall."
I could not of said those things better myself, although
in my own humble way I try. In fact, Secret Serivce Agent
Brown often says I am one of the most trying people he has
I am sure this great death and great funeral will mark a
great turning point in America, and that George W.'s sunny
will win Americans to his side. Not that they are not on his
side now, but still.
I think most REAL Americans are not paying attention to those
memos Our Great Attroney General John "The Eagle is Sore"
Ashcroft is refusing to show to Congress. And that is not
because the memos would show that the torture was something
Our Great President okayed, so get that straight! And anyway,
if Congress could see them, the memos would show that it was
okay for Our Great President to torture anyone he wanted to
at the slightest wim, so there.
And if you support the troops like I do, you will not pay
attention to that Army guy from Kentucky who got beaten by
our own troops until he got brain-damaged.
And you will not make a fuss about the former police officer
who dared to ask people at home for a bullet-proof vest getting
is coming to him. The best way to support the troops is
to ignore what happens to them or what they say.
And yes, the announcement about there being less terrorism
now than before did turn out to be wrong,
and there is more terrorism and not less. It was just wrong
and not another lie by Our Great President, so stop saying
that! It is even more important than ever that we do not laugh
out loud when we see Homely Secretary of Security Tom Ridge
or his assistants introduce new weapons like the Wheel
of Terror, or that we do not ask how many billions of
dollars were spent and where the money went.
Instead, let us focus on good news, like Denver almost becoming
sister city even though they did not want to, or the good
job Our Great President is doing bringing peace and stability
to Iraq, or the way our allies in NATO almost
joined in what is not a quagmyer in any way.
And best of all, Ronald Reagan is dead, and will still be
dead when the election comes in November, despite anything
Lie-berals and Socialist DemocRats and Moderate Extremists
do or say. Let us never forget that, or else dig him up and
hold another great funeral so we can remember. And maybe the
next time Ollie North will not have to hide.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who still takes
Boraxo for those headaches and the dizziness and the cold
sweats and the noise in my ears that almost sounds like little
voices. If you would like to join his movement to get Deaf
Valley Days back on the T and V to honor Our Greatest Dead
President Ever, drop him a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.