Time with Bob Boudelang
"Our Great President Only Stands For Decent American-Style
Torture, So Stop Saying That!!"
May 15, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
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is not outraged and sick over the pictures in the news these
days? Not the alleged pictures of alleged torture which is
not alleged torture but only alleged abuse and anyway they
cut off that guy's head, so stop saying that!
No, I mean who is not outraged and sick over the pictures
of Our Great Poor Secretary of Defensive Donald Rumfilled
being asked questions! In public! By Congresspeople! Who do
they think they are? Who elected them to speak for the rest
Do Congresspeople not support our troops, no matter how disgusting
they are? Can they not focus on punishing the troops responsible
instead of trying to distract us all by asking who ordered
the troops in the first place?
Was it not enough that Our Great President told Congress
last summer there would be no
torture? Why would they not except that at face value,
but go on to look at actual pictures of people being tortured
just because the pictures were on television? Why were they
outraged, instead of being outraged about the outrage?
What is worse is that when Our Great Senator Imhofe, who
is not as dumb as everyone says, said he was outraged by the
outrage, socialist Democraps and other smarty-pants were outraged!
Well I am outraged about the outrage over the outrage over
the outrage, and unless I lost count, that is how everybody
should be outraged in the land of the free. Or else.
I am specially outraged that anyone would question the superb
job that Secretary of Defensive Rumsfeld is doing. That is
what Our Great President said to him, "You are doing a superb
job," and that is enough for anyone with half a mind like
me to figure it is quite a job he is giving us all indeed.
I mean, if there is anyone who would know a failure when
he saw one, it is Our Great President. And he does not see
one in Donald Rumfilled, that's for sure. Our Great President
supports our troops, and that is why he says it is all their
fault and not the fault of Donald Rumfilled.
And yes, Rumfilled was the first Secretary of Defensive in
history to say the US military was like the Nazi blitzkreig
and mean it as a good thing.
And yes, he was the only Secretary of Defensive in history
to ever be sitting at his desk in the Pentagon when the building
was attacked by an enemy.
And yes, he was the Secretary of Defensive who let Osama
Bin Laden escape in Afghanistan.
And yes, he was the Secretary of Defensive who got rid of
the generals who said we needed more troops in Iraq.
And yes, he is the Secretary of Defensive who now says we
need more troops in Iraq.
And yes, he is the first Secretary of Defensive in history
to say he would not obey the Geneva convention.
And yes, he is the first Secretary of Defensive to have prisoners
of war tortured.
But gee wiz, except for some things like that, what is wrong
with him? Next to nothing, if you don't count him selling
North Korea a nuclear
reactor or giving Sodom Husane weapons of mass distraction
in the first place, and I certainly don't count that, accept
as "youthful indescription" as Dr. Jeckill or Henry Hyde once
Let me ask you, why didn't YOU do the Secretary of Defensive
job if you thought he was doing it so wrong? It is funny to
hear people criticizing him now who did not help out then.
But that is the difference between us Republicans and everybody
else: we are the party of personal responsibility, so it is
unfair to blame us for anything. Do you not support our troops?
But nobody wants to hear our story when they are busy obsessing
over photos of torture, which is really no worse than what
Rush Limbaugh does for fun, or so he says. And anyway, this
is what happens when you have women in the military, which
is why I am outraged, but only over that part and not over
what they did. Which the prisoners probally deserved.
Sadly, even on a visit to Iraq, Secretary of Defensive Rumfilled
could not get a break from questions and escape into some
innocent shooting and killing. Instead, even though he told
the troops that "I
am a survivor" they selfishly pestered the grate man with
selfish questions about their own selfish safety. As if their
puny lives mean anything next to him! Really!
What is wrong with our troops? Do they not support our troops?
Sadly, it appears the war in Iraq will have to go on now
without any more torture, which was not the bad kind of torture
that Sodom Husane had, but the good kind of American-style
torture that Our Great President handed out in his own fraternity
house, which was neither homo nor sexual, which you would
know if you did not have a dirty mind. And anyway, that was
not torture but only abuse, which is very different unless
you are getting it, in which case you probally deserve it
It does not have to be that way in Iraq. If the Iraqis want
us to leave, all they have to do is say so. We would pack
up and go, in that case, and yes they do too believe that.
That is just common sense. But instead they go on shooting
and bombing and wounding and killing Americans, which shows
how much they really want us there. So that is why we cannot
leave until we do.
Sadlyest of all, this constant drumstick of criticism is
discouraging Republicans like me from speaking up out loud
no matter what the librarian or other firebrant moderates
say. Just this week I was leafing through the out of town
papers at the library and I found this:
We've been getting more letters critical of President
Bush than those that support him. Wešre not sure why, nor
do we want to guess. But in today's increasingly polarized
political environment, we would prefer our offering to put
forward a better sense of balance.
Since we depend upon you, our readers, to supply our
letters, that goal can be difficult. We can't run letters
that we don't have.
I immediately wrote this letter:
It is about time you got some letters that do not describe
Our Great President as AWOL or an unelected drunk or a crook
or a psychotic thug or the stupidest man on earth like you
asked for. This is just the politics of personal description,
and I think you and I are fed up with it and want to go
back to the way politics are supposed to be, talking about
how Bill Klintoon killed all those people secretly because
he is a Chinese spy.
George W. said Osama Bin Laden would be dead or alive,
and now he is! Wala! as our amigos who should be sent back
south of the border say.
Yours truly and I mean it...
Well! Would you believe it? Even though they got that letter
they would not print it! I guess the true colors of the LIEberal
yellow journalism biased media can be seen for what they are.
But I am nothing if not persimmon. And I know there are many
more like me who support Our Great President come hell
So I painted a sheet and hung it on my trailer that says
"Our Great President Is Doing This!" I now spend the evenings
standing on a box with a bag on my head and wires in my hands
by the highway in front of the sign, just to show my support.
And despite the scare headline it actually gets sort of peaceful
there in the dark and quiet after a while. Plus Mrs. Brown
Rosenfeld's savage watchdog Cujo cannot reach my ankles when
I am on the box.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who wishes he
had put his head in a bag a long time ago. You can reach him