Time with Bob Boudelang
"People Love Our Great President And The Fire Was Not
April 24, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
For one thing, the war against the anti-Iraqi Iraqis in
Iraq could hardly be going better, if you don't count the
about Americans dying over there, and the cover-up
about the money for Afghanistan getting diverted to Iraq,
and the cover-up
about how much money is actually going to be needed in Iraq,
and the cover-up
about the money getting stolen in Iraq.
And yes, it does appear that drafting Americans may be necessary
because not enough young Republicans are joining the military
to fight for the cause Our Great President has explained so
well. But then the young Republicans everywhere are busy promoting
the riffed between the races, and helping others learn
the value of honest
debate, and so it is important other less important Americans
go off and die, and not just because they are not rich white
kids like the Young Republicans. Gee wiz! Why does everything
have to be racism for some people? Do we not have enough PC
thought police-ism in the world already? I ask you?
And not only are things going so well overseas, but so is
Our Great President's plan to attack the envirowhackos by
to be one on Earth Day every year. Fortunately real Americans
are not fooled and know what George W. stands for.
And it was exciting to see that Dick Cheney went to the
of the NR of A, where the happy gun owners urged people to
vote for George W.
I was excited to go to the library this week where they
cannot keep me out despite the smell and read an exciting
column by Peggy Noonan, who was Our Great Speechwriter to
Our Greatest Ever President Ronald Reagan who could too think
for himself but hired her instead.
Peggy Noonan told an inspiring
story about a man whose bread basket caught on fire and
he stamped it out which proved that ordinary Americans do
not mind that Our Great President ignores memos saying Bin
Laden will strike. After all, "this is a hard country to defend"
George W. said,
and that was as true when he was young and in the National
Guard as when he was on vacation in August 2001.
By the way let us not forget that back then when his country
him George W. Bush bravely joined the Texas National Guard
(where you cannot prove he went AWOL) but John Kerry ran and
hid in Viet Nam.
Anyway, I was excited to hear that setting people's bread
baskets on fire would keep them from worrying when Our Great
President is unable to answer a easy question which it was
unfair he did not get it in writing beforehand. So I decided
to try it out.
I hitchhiked to the local Country Club which it was having
a formal dinner and went in the back entrance and got a busboy
jacket. However I was distressed to see they had only little
bitty candles in big glasses, that was difficult to "tip over"
accidentally into the bread basket, even after two or three
So I used a highway flare. Despite what you may have heard,
that man's car trunk WAS just sitting there wide open, and
I do not know where the tennis racket or gym bag got to.
Well, the results were disappointing to say the lease. I
suspect most of the people there were socialist Democraps
and raving moderates, because instead of sitting there imperturbably
continuing their narratives about why George W. should of
invaded Iraq instead of having child safety seats, and quietly
stepping on the flames with their large soft shoes, people
began waving their arms and screaming when I threw the highway
flare into the bread basket.
One old guy knocked the burning bread basket and the highway
flare across the room where the bread basket caught a tablecloth
on fire and the highway flare caught the drapes on fire and
then there was lots of running and shouting, and I thought
I would get out before there was any trouble.
So as you can tell, the fire was really not my fault but
the old guy who knocked the bread basket and the highway flare
across the room's fault, and I blame him for whatever heart
attack and smoke inhalation that followed, if there was any.
I wish Peggy Noonan could of been there to see it.
And the irony was that the bread had raisins and was very
good, if anyone had stopped the LIEberal hysteria for a moment
So to sum up, let us stay the course, whatever it is, and
let us not begrudge it another measle $700 billion or so or
the lives of somebody else's kids. And let us not panic because
the breadbasket of America is going up in flames. That is
just life in George W. Bush's America. Deal with it.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader, and if anyone
asks you have not seen him. By the way if you would like to
buy a black calfskin leather bag or a tennis racket, contact
him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Bob's Other Rebuttals