Time with Bob Boudelang
"Hooray! Our Great President's Economic Plan Will Fix the Economy That Nothing Is Wrong With!"
January 10, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
And so another great year starts for America, thanks to Our Great President who was too elected and is not a drunk or a crook, as far as you can prove. So there!
Already the bitter divide of race has been healed by George W. who you cannot prove got Trent Lott kicked out as Senate leader. But still he was glad to see Trent Lott resign with honor the way Newt Gingrich did. Now blacko-Americans and other inferior people will think that they have a president who cares about them. And this time we will finely have Chales Picklefinger as a judge to show that cross-burning is okay too.
Our new Senate leader is Senator Doctor Frisp, who only stole a measly couple billion from Medicare and anyway the case was settled, and not because the fix was in.
Meanwhile, the Axles of Evil continue to act up, with North Korea threatening us and Iraq not threatening us. That is why they are so evil - they know it is suppose to be the other way around and yet they will not cooperate with George W.'s crafty plan. It is almost as if North Korea wants a war and Iraq doesn't.
But the time for week-need diplomacy has past, except with North Korea, where there is going to be some. And so what if the U of N inspectors did not find weapons in Iraq? That only means that they are good at hiding them. It certainly does not mean that George W. was lying when he said he had evidence that they had weapons of mass distraction. They are there all right, and you cannot prove Donald Rumfilled and The Great Father of Our Great President had anything to do with them either.
What would happen if Iraq attacked us? George W. asked the other day. It would throw our economy into chaos, he said. Then states would be facing large deficits, millions of Americans would lose their jobs, and retirement funds and pension plans would lose money. And yes, that is happening now, but thank goodness it was not due to Sodom Husane attacking us. You need to think of the glass as still half-full and not getting empty.
Meanwhile, who is not excited by Our Great President's Great Economic Stimulus Plan? Mrs. Rosenfeld, for one, who said a very dirty word when I asked about it. But I am very excited, although there is nothing wrong with the Bush Economic Miracle.
Any way it is all Slick Willy Klintoon's fault, two years after he left office, which proves what a weak ineffective president he really was.
The mantlepiece of Our Great President's plan is the end of the tax on dividends from the stock market, which does not only benefit the very rich despite what economists say. It will restore confidence in the stock market which had been lost due to people having to pay taxes and not due to George W. and Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney and former SEC chairmanperson Harvey Pits being corporate crooks, which you cannot prove.
Besides, who wants to live in a country where rich people have to pay taxes and are treated like everybody else? Not George W. and Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney. And it is just a coincidence that they get back thousands of dollars on this plan.
This is a time of crisis and excitement for the American people, whether they want it or not. Just yesterday I was walking around the neighborhood, and everywhere, from the fish store to where the CheapMart use to be (and you cannot prove that was my fault), there was ordinary Americans going about their humdrum meaningless lives. To them, 2003 was just pages on a colander, but to me it was something more. At last we have the kind of a president who is not afraid to threaten the world with nuclear bombs and who will stand up for ordinary decent white religious hard-working people like myself. I like to think George W. and me is a lot alike, and I hope someday everybody else does too.
So buy us a drink so we can give a New Year Toast to Our Great President. Long may he wave!
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who is filled with an optimism that not even dumping fish guts in the alley can quench. Still, if anybody else in the Republican party resigns with honor he would like to interview for the job despite the smell. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.