Time with Bob Boudelang
Alert! Orange Alert! Be Un-Un-American With Duck Tape and
February 14, 2003
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
is a great moment in our nation's great history, long days
of terrible decisions, and we have George W. Bush making them.
We can all get down on our hands and knees and thank the man
upstairs for that (and I don't mean Chief Justice Renchquist,
so stop saying that).
I was on the bus coming back from Sam Francisco (where I
do not want to discuss what happened and never will. Not that
anything happened, so stop saying that! Nothing at all happened,
and Iım not going to mention anything about it ever. Just
let it alone.) when I heard there was an Orange Alert! Immediately
I jumped out of my seat and ran up and down the aisle shouting
"Orange Alert! Orange Alert!" which was no reason to throw
me off the bus, but that is the LIEberal politics of personal
destruction every time. I guess the driver wants Saddam to
And what an Orange Alert! it is too! Unlike the other Orange
Alert!, this time in edition to panicking while we go about
our humdrum day to day meaningless activities, we are supposed
to wrap ourselves in Saran Wrap and duck tape in case of bionic
or chemical attacks. This will not only foil (get it?) any
terrorists Saddam might send, but will be a real shot in the
head to the economy, which as Allen Greenspam said mistakenly,
does not need one thanks to the Bush economic miracle.
By the way, some swell Christian compassion here from Mrs.
Rosenfeld, who will neither loan me her foil and duck tape,
which she is not using, nor loan me the money to buy my own,
which I did not shoplift. She also will not make her son put
in a machine gun nest and booby traps on trip wires, like
any sensible person would during an Orange Alert!. The Daisyview
Trailer Park might as well be Bagdad.
It is advice like this which makes everybody who is not a
moderate or DemoncRAT glad that we have Homely Secretary of
Security Tom Ridge on the job. It is well worth the $38 billion
he has spent and not accounted for to have a color chart and
advice about duck tape.
However I hope you will be un-un-American, unlike these un-American
peaceniks and appeasers, and support Our Great President as
he confronts our dangerous enemies France, Germany and Belgium.
It only goes to show how irrelevant the NATO and the U of
N have become that they will not knuckle under to George W.ıs
slightest wim as they should and let him have his war.
Even Australia is attacking our pResident and saying things
conga line of suckholes." They have even asked for the
US ambassador to be recalled.
It is the mark of what a jenius Our Great President is that
he has uncovered how unAmerican some Australians really are.
All those years they only pretended to be our friend, but
George W. fixed that!
Imagine! The U of N and LIEberals here did not believe Colon
Powell when he went before them with all of his evidence.
Yes, his up-to-the minute intelligence was stolen off the
internet from old magazine articles but what did you expect?
Talk about proof! Colon did lots of talking about proof.
And it is not his fault nobody believed he had any.
Our Great President picked Colon to discuss the issue to
show he is just as good as the white people in the Administration,
and not because it had words George W. could not pronounce,
because he could of if he wanted, I am sure. Our Great President
is not as dumb as he looks, and there are people who are dead
and buried because they misunderestimated him, although you
cannot prove that.
Were you not as convinced as people like me were when General
Powell showed the cartoon of Saddamıs mobile labs? I mean,
yes the inspectors say they were not mobile labs, and yes,
Colon did not have an actual picture of one, and yes, everyone
in a mobile lab would be killed if the anthrax spilled when
they hit a bump, but that is just quibbling. Colon had an
actual drawing and that is good enough for the likes of me
and you. Especially you.
Colon also held up a little empty glass vile that could have
held anthrax or other weapons but certainly never had crack
or cocaine that you cannot prove anyone uses and which was
not one of many empty viles just lying around the White House
for Colon to pick up. That is just Mrs. Rosenfeld saying that.
And of course this week, Osama Bin Laden put out a tape that
almost backs up exactly what George W. and Colon said, if
you summarize it right like Rush Limbaugh does. It goes to
show that there are no hard feelings on Osamaıs part even
though he has been margarinealized.
But instead of focusing on what Colon said the tape said,
the lackydog running yellow press liberal media began focusing
on what it really said when it "was" translated, and how Colon
got an advance copy if we do not know where Osama is, and
why Our Great President was ignoring Osama, and why this time
they wanted the tape broadcast when before they said tapes
had secret messages and did not want them broadcast, and other
In Bagdad they would not of been asking these questions,
I can tell you that.
Meanwhile it is time once again to notice the hipocracy of
Democraps, who are making a fuss about the Great Bill O. Riley
just because he called Mexicans wetbacks on the air, and yet
they are blocking the Hispanish judge who helps Ann Colter
when she writes about killing liberals just because no one
can see his record and he would not answer questions about
what he has been up to. Cut some cheese-wiz to go with that
What's-his-name is not some sort of raving nut, and anyway,
so what if he is? Judges have been rejected in the past when
people found out they defended cross-burning, so it only makes
sense to keep this guyıs record hidden. Other wise, there
will be politics, and what does that have to do with picking
He is a fine nominee who is not too dark and fits right in
the mainstream of Hispanish-American thought like Ken Starr
and Ted Olson.
Do not the DemocRats realize that it is time to forget petty
squabbling and knuckle under to whatever our Great President
wants? But no, they have to be unAmerican. No wonder everyone
hates them but the tree huggers, the gays, the blacks, the
femiNazis, the Jews, the Hispanish, the Orientals, the gun-grabbers,
the union sympathizers, the human rights mongers, the public
school pimps, the lucky duckies, the welfare cheats, the homeless
bums, the trial lawyers, the LIEberals, the moderates, and
the product safety people.
They are even complaining that Our Great President made taxpayers
for his American flag lapel pins. Get real! How else is George
W. going to show what a patriot he is unless he makes taxpayers
buy him a flag pin? Did you want him to sacrifice his own
money for anything like that?
Well, it is time for me to stop so I can wrap myself in Saran
Wrap and duck tape like Our Great President commands! And
I hope to see loyal un-un-Americans everywhere joining me!
Soon Saddam Hussein and his terrorists will be laughing out
of the other side of their neck. At least that is what I hope,
if I can figure out how to breathe through it.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who is glad to give
up air so he can support Our Great President who is not a
corrupt failure so stop saying that and sort of feeling light
headed and even a little diz
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