Time with Bob Boudelang
"The DemocRATS' Politics of Personal Destruction Is How I Got This Eye! "
November 8, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
Now at last all America has joined in and knuckled under to the demands of Our Great President and abolished LIEberals and Moderates forever. The people have spoken with one voice, or at least a little over half of the 40% who voted did, and they have said "Give us more George W. and those great Republicans like Trent Lott and John 'The Eagle Is Sore' Ashcroft (who is not a dangerous nut)."
Now at last we can abolish Socialist Security, give rich people more money, bomb Iraq and take their oil, and do all the other things George W. Bush sees in his vision of this admnistration that will last 1,000 years. Hail to Our Great President!
Already I am happy to say that a fine big contract has been given to WorldCom, which has been such a strong supporter of the Republicans and Our Great President. Their president is a born-again Christian and so I am sure he is very sorry about defrauding all those investors. After all, it is only money.
Meanwhile Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney is still being prosecuted by the courts over his Energy Task Force and now there is a criminal referral. I think this shows us all why we need the sort of judges George W. Bush wants who will overlook the law when it interferes with cross burning and secret meetings and use common sense instead.
I am proud to say I got this black eye helping out on election day. I had not registered to vote so I thought the best thing to do was to try to intimidate black voters the way the other Republican Team Leaders were doing in Florida, and Tennessee, and Missouri, and Maryland, and Pennsylvania, and other states.
I got my friend Kenny from the Free White Organization of God to help. He had quit the FWOG in a snit and became the Ku Klux Klan instead although everybody knows who it is under the sheet due to the wheezing. But I think he was lonely, as he agreed to right away this time.
I must admit I asked him because I knew he had a gun and the Gestapo-like police state of tyranny had confiscated mine after Mr. Padnavatham's nephew Arjay borrowed them and shot out the streetlights with his friends. Unfortunately, Kennyıs mom had taken it away from him after he accidentally shot her tropical fish tank, although a little duck tape fixed the holes, and he did not know where she hid it.
It was not so much that I was afraid to go by myself, as I am a man who faced up to the tyrants of Grenada with Our Great Former President Ronald Reagan and was shot in the ass by friendly fire (me not Our Great Former President Ronald Reagan).
Rather it was (by the way, I did not mean that I shot Our Great Former President Ronald Reagan in the ass by friendly fire, but that it was me who got shot, and not by Our Great Former President Ronald Reagan but by Corporal Rugazzi, and I was not running away no matter what he says. I hope this clears that up.) that Kennyıs mom has a car.
However, Kennyıs mom is still angry at me for a misunderstanding at the Red Bear Lounge where I am too aloud in but choose not to go. So she would not give us a ride, no matter how much Kenny asked, and I do not think he was whining.
My friend Secret Service Agent Brown has a car, and at first I thought he would give us a ride, but when he found out we were not going near any actual candidates, he remembered he had to keep an eye on Mrs. Rosenfeld, who was playing "I look at life from boat sides now" and other leftist protest songs on the hi-fi. That is the kind of dedicated agent he is and I am proud that he is my friend and follows me around when he is not behind closed doors with Mrs. Rosenfeld.
So we had to take the bus on election day. I had my Confederate flag with me and a sign that said "Register Voters Not Guns!" I gave Kenny a sign that said "Black People: Do Not Try to Vote!"
Right away there was trouble. The bus driver did not believe Kenny was a student, which is vicious age-ism at work, and made him pay full fare. I was disappointed Kenny did not wear his white sheet and said so, and Kenny kept saying "Shush" especially when we got more into the city and there were more black people on the bus.
"You should of at least wore the pointy hood" I said, but he kind of moaned for some reason. He had folded his sign in half by then so no one could see it, and I was very put out. "Are you not proud of our white heritage?" I demanded and he got up and pulled the cord.
Well, he had made a mistake as we were not near the polling place but by some pool hall. However, there were Democrats loitering outside there, as I could tell by their color, and they were some surprised and impressed to see a Republican team leader up close. I could tell by the way they muttered. The Democrats were taking them for granite, but here I was, right there with the homos in the hood, as they say.
At that moment Kenny started to run and so I did too. You will be as disgusted as me to hear that they tore up my Confederate flag, which I had had since my vacation years ago to Lester Maddox's boyhood home, and gave me this black eye, but I got away, unlike Kenny who could not run very fast due to the asthma and his hammer toes. It was the politics of personal destruction, and not from us Republicans, and I hope all you LIEberal Socialist Democraps are ashamed!
Still "the blood of patriot guns cries out for liberty" as I often told Kenny when we were on FWOG patrol and not just hanging out in the woods getting drunk and playing with guns. And I am sure he got home all right, even if he had to pay full fare. We Republicans are a hardy lot and put up quite a fight, whether it is George W. Bush serving in the National Guard (where you cannot prove he was AWOL) or Dick Cheney keeping his secret meeting secret although there was nothing underhanded going on, or Trent Lott running out when he was being booed by leftists, or me retreating away with dignity, or Kenny wheezing and crying in the street. And don't you forget it!
Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and Kenny is a grown man. Whatever happened to personal responsibility in this country?