Time with Bob Boudelang
"I Blame the Dumbocrats For Making My Life A Fishy Hell!!!"
November 1, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
Who can deny that all that is wrong with the world can be traced to just one bunch of narrow-minded bigoted "individuals" - the DemocRAT Party!
They know they ought to kneel down and obey everything our Great President says but no. They have not got the guts to do that!
And it is not just on the national level that they cause grief and strife with their obstrucionalisticness and gloomy message of tolerance and progress! How many people's lives have been ruined as mine has, with a job?
Instead of sitting waiting for the Bush economic miracle to kick in I am forced to get a job in Mr. Rabinowitz's Fish Market to pay the rent at the Daisyview trailer park where his cousin (Mr. Rabinowitz's cousin not Our Great President's Cousin) Mrs. Rosenfeld rules with an iron fist like a communist tyrant. It might as well be Communist Canada under Paul Pot over there, or at work.
I am forced to actually put ice on the fish and put the fish guts in the dumpster all day as if I was a lowly immigrant or something and not a respected right wing commentator and Republican team leader. Not to mention a war veteran wounded in the brutal fight against the tyrants of Grenada in the rear end under Ronald Reagan. And when I mention that, Mr. Rabinowitz says "We all have our cross to bear," and laughs.
I do not get it, and no one will explain it to me. Even my friend Secret Service Agent Brown laughs when I ask him, and then he goes back into the house and Mrs. Rosenfeld's savage watchdog Cujo chases me away from the porch.
Nor will he (Mr. Rabinowitz, not Cujo) let me put up the Great Photo of Our Great President that is up above to inspire his customers when they look at the fish. Nor will he let me tell them about the great things George W. is doing and so I am afraid they do not know of any.
Fortunately there are newspapers in the dumpster and so I am able to remain "oh karant" as they say in Europe. But there are lots of alley cats in the alley where the dumpsters are and they have begun following me where ever I go because of the smell. Which is why Socialist Democrap stormtroopers unjustly threw me out of the library where I am too aloud in last week and I was not able to deliver my usual report.
However, I have smuggled in some fish guts to keep the cats quiet so I should be able to finish my column this week. At least let us all hope so. I think the scratch on my leg is infected.
Of course all of decent America must be outraged that the Democrats had the nerve to hold a memorial to Paul Wellstone, who you cannot actually prove Bush had killed. (Yes, the co-pilot was also the guy who gave that Zacarias guy the software to fly a 747, but that does not prove he was in the CIA. And yes, there was billions of dollars and control of the Senate at stake, but what kind of motive is that? After all, just because the Republicans had a $1 million dollar secret slush fund to slander the guy does not mean anyone hated him. It is all circumcision evidence if you ask me, and anyway everybody knows Hitlery Clinton who is a lesbian killed Vince Foster who was her lover and the Democrats covered that up from three investigations, which only said suicide instead of the real "story".)
It was deplorable and disgraceful that 20,000 people would show up and millions more would watch on television while people said LIEberal things out loud. It made it seem like they are not just a tiny minority. And Trent Lott and Jesse the Body was booed. Do not these people know that Hitlery is the only Senator that Americans are allowed to boo?
Jesse the Body said he was so disgusted he would name someone who is not a demoncrat to fill the seat. I hope he picks either Hulk Hogan or me. Hulk Hogan because he is getting too old to wrestle, or me so I can get away from these cats who I hope will quiet down.
What they should of done in Minnesota was had a quiet respectful funeral and not mentioned anything about him being LIEberal. That would of been good taste, and Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus agree with me on that.
There is no one as tasteful as us right wing, and that is why there was no uproar from Imus and Limbaugh about Charlatan Heston and 700 Republicans having a tasteful pro-gun rally in Arizona to honor the freedom of shooting and buying guns without ballistic fingerpainting. And yes, it was a whole day after all those nursing students and professors was shot and killed, so there. I am sure many people there had already forgot all about it, and any way the blood of freedom cries out for patriot guns, as I am sure Charlatan Heston should of quoted Thomas Jefferson, if that is what he said. I am sure he also mentioned his cold dead hands (Charlatan Heston, that is, and not Thomas Jefferson, although come to think of it Thomas Jefferson has dead hands too that are probably cold if they are still there).
I am proud of Charlatan Heston and his cold dead hands and hope every American will think of them and the Republicans on election day and go vote accordingly.
I am also proud that Our Great President did not panic and do anything the other day when that boat pulled up right next to that causeway in Miami without the Coast Guard or Navy or Tom Ridge the Homely Director of Security noticing. After all, yes it could of been filled with armed Alkaheeda terrorists or a lone nut with a weapon of mass distraction, but what are the odds on that? It was only people from Haiti, and nobody cares about them, as George W. Bush knows.
By the way, did not those people realize how good they had it where they were? After all, Haiti has no labor unions, no Social Security, no Medicare, no public schools, no civil rights for gayo-Americans, no civil rights at all, no abortion, plenty of guns, no OSHA, no EPA, no pesky regulations holding down business, and no rights for accused criminals. It must be heaven on earth. Maybe some day we will be like that if we can end the tyranny of DemocRats and Moderates.
But what their country does not have is a beloved and inspiring leader like Our Great President who told the entire irrelevant United Nations that Sodom Husane was a monster who gassed his own people but bravely stood up for his soul friend Pudding of Russia when he gassed his own people. No one with half a mind like me can fail to see the difference.
And who is not proud of the way Our Great Attorney General John Ashcroft (who is not a dangerous nut) took over the sniper investigation now that they are safely captured and kept the lowly police from investigating? Sure some LIEberals are yowling like hungry alley cats that it damaged the investigation, but who cares. The Eagle is Sore all right!
Also yowling and howling and digging their claws into the leg of America are the "so-called" economists, just because consumer confidence has fallen to where it was in 1993. Do they not remember the first George Bush miracle economy? Who can forget tha
Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who can be reached at mailto:email@example.com. There are people who smell worse in this library and any way no stormtroo