Time with Bob Boudelang
"Bob Barr Is A Horrible Tragedy For America, Dammit!"
August 23, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
Who is not really sad and way too depressed to look for work at the horrible news that Our Great Patriot Bob Barr has not won his election? Not me. I am.
This is why voters cannot be trusted (which shows how right Jeb was, even if you cannot prove it).
Bob Barr was one of the finest Republicans ever. That is why Democrats feared him so and played dirty tricks, like listening to his second wife when she blabbed in public about the abortion he made her get. She was just jealous because he was having an affair with the third wife he would later divorce too. But that is what made him an expert who knew to propose the "Defense of Marriage" Act.
It was also the hypocritical Democraps with their racist tolerance and diversity that attacked Bob Barr just because he spoke to the Council of Conservative Citizens. Do not white people need superiority too? If he had really been a bigot he would have called blacko-Americans names or something.
Of course, the real crime "by" Bob Barr was that he was the first to call for Slick Willy's impeachment. Without that, people would never of known about Klintoon's affair which was different from Bob Barr's affair because it was much worse.
And for all his troubles, the godless LIEberal yellow dog running media said Bob Barr was having a "witch hunt." Well, why should witches be aloud? This is America, dammit. We have known witches were evil ever since Samantha husband-swapped Darrens on TV. That wasn't right.
And now his career has ended (Bob Barr not Darren, although come to think of it his (Darren not Bob Barr) has too). Yes, a gun went off accidentally while he was playing with it, but thanks to the important safety training from the Natural Rifle Association he managed not to kill anyone. Still of course his enemies seized on the incident and even sent a guy dressed like Yosemite Sam around to harass him by standing around in public. Fortunately, Bob Barr's son beat him up.
Still now he is gone to the Golden Book of Great Americans in the Sky, along with Phil Gramm and Dick Armey and Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms. Perhaps someday historians of the future will look back at the past which is today and shed a tear of gratitude. It is hard to say.
Meanwhile I am glad to notice that the War with Iraq against Sodom Husane is on schedule and that hardly anyone noticed the stories about Our Great Father of the President selling him armaments or The Great Former President Ronald Reagan Who Was Too Great and Not a Crook selling him anthrax.
And yes, Alkaheeda is making chemical weapons in Iraq. But even though it is in the part of Iraq our friends the Kurds control and not Sodom, we should go to war just to make sure.
Best of all we will soon have a brochure explaining why we should go to war. I hope it will be in color. Then the world will see why we all need to obey our Great President no matter what he says without quibbling about unimportant matters like evidence or who will get rich off the war.
After all, everyone in America loves George W. Just the other day he said, "I try to go for longer runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency."
Talk about keeping it real, as the teens say. There is the George W. the whole country loves, speaking from the heart.
Bill Klintoon would never of done that. Slick Willy would have had the ordasity to bite his lip and try to act sad about everybody in America losing their retirement savings or the unemployed, or the people killed in the terrorist attacks if any of that had happened when he was president.
But here is George W. being sad about not running instead. Guess that shows whose fault all those problems are. I hope we will all remember that.
No wonder everybody hates Bill Klintoon, and he can only get $50 million for his talk show. No one will watch it except Democrats and moderates and union goons and human rights mongers and public school advocates and envirowhackos and gun grabbers and blacks and Hispaniacs and Jews and minorities and intellectuals and the anything goes sixties values crowd and old people who leach off society with their Socialist Security and the like. If thatıs the sort of tiny fringe audience a T and V network wants, they are welcome to it.
But I will not be watching. And that is not just because I do not have a T and V. It is because I have principles and am not just a lazy drunk. And you could ask anybody who does not have a LIEberal Ax to grind. Just ask me first.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader and has heavy responsibilities to bare that no one sees. You can reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org