Democratic Underground

Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"
George W. Has Said The State of the Union Like A Real President So Stop Talking About Enron!"
February 1, 2002
by Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

Of all the great weeks of triumph of our Great President George W. Bush, this has been perhaps the greatest and most triumphy. Now he has given his State of the Union address just like a real president. And people cheered. Take that!

Now maybe this country can stop this endless hysteria and lies about Enron not being all Ann Richards fault. It is time we stopped focusing on the employees and their special 411K's, or the state pension plans in Florida and Texas that went on buying Enron stock after the price dropped, or on the stupid Californios who deserved what they got for deregulating the wrong way.

Yes, Enron drew up the California deregulation plan that caused the rolling blackouts until price caps were instituted, but that does not mean it is Enron's fault that the deregulation plan did not save anybody money. Deregulation works. It just doesn't work for everybody. Price gouging is a very ugly word, and I think you know what I mean.

It is time that we turned a dead ear to these things and go on with the miracle of deregulation before it goes away like the energy crisis did. If only we had hurried and given energy companies like Enron a $35 billion subsidy and tossed out the stupid environmental laws like Dick Cheney and our Great George Bush wanted, we could still be enjoying an energy crisis. Then all these headlines about the Cayman Islands and shredded documents and phony accounting and suspicious suicides and investor swindles might never be seen.

Instead now we are mired in the nightmare of conservation and low prices.

What hypocrites the Democrats are on this fanatical fuss about Dick Cheney's meeting with Enron. Why is there no outrage about the Sierra Club? Is it the leftist bias of the yellow dog journalism press?

The Sierra Club did not get to meet with Dick Cheney and the Sierra Club made their recommendations publicly, and the Sierra Club did not stand to make millions from the plan and the Sierra Club's officers are not on the run or taking the Fifth, and nobody from the Sierra Club was found shot before he could testify to Congress (but you cannot prove that was not suicide). But that is no reason to treat the Sierra Club any different than Enron.

And no, none of the Sierra Club's crazy recommendations were actually in our Great Vice President's Energy Plan. Do not be silly!

But that does not mean he lied when he said they were. This is an important constitutional principle, and if we toss it aside now like we did when we were finding out the details of Slick Willy Klintoon having sex, no president ever is going to be able to meet behind closed doors with millionaires and draw up secret plans for the rest of us from now on. Where will be then, I ask you?

Tell me, whose heart did not break when they saw Mrs. Ken Lay sobbing on the Today show about how now she is broke and people are saying rude things (Yes, she still has ten houses and her husband has millions, but ugly facts like that is why people hate the leftist media). Mine did not because I do not have a television, but still.

I was outraged when I heard about that Katey Courage being so mean. If I had been there and she had been a man and not any bigger than she is now I would have hit her right in the nose except for my war wound and my bad back. So there.

And why is there no outrage about Global Crossing, which Terry MacAuliffe took money from? Yes, Our Great Father of the President George Bush took money too, but that was different. After all, the Bush administration canceled a contract they had given out because there was dirty work there, Matt Drudge says. It shows how evil Slick Willy and the Democraps are that they could still hand out crooked defense contracts more than six months after they left office. Who was ex-president in July 2001? Arrest my case!

It is plain to all good Americans that the socialist left is trying to destroy this country by laughing at our Great Attorney General John Ashcroft because he covered up The Spirit of Justice and The Majesty of the Law with drapes because he was ashamed of bosoms. So what? That does not make him a dangerous crazy person. If it were not for John Ashcroft, all the detained Middle Eastern Terrorist suspects would be denied their second amendment rights on guns, and people in Oregon would be dying with dignity instead of in agony for their sins as God intended. Do not forget that.

That is why patriotic people only laugh when Our Great President tells us his mother told him to chew pretzels. That is good clean fun, of the sort that is too often forgotten in this era of permissiveness and empty V.

The whole week, after George W. said that, I found myself often chuckling out loud over Our Great President's wit, but that is not why people at the bus station complained, if they really did.

But this is distracting us from the State of the Union speech.

It was the greatest speech any president has ever given anywhere and I wish I had seen more than the first few minutes it.

I asked Mrs. Rosenfeld at the Daisyview Trailer Park if I could watch it on her TV, and she said I could. But she had relatives at her double-wide in to watch too, and with their constant chatter I could hardly hear. I was right when I said she was a socialist Democrap of the worst stripe and I was horrified and appalled and shocked to find that what I knew all along was true. Worse yet, so was her "so-called" family.

Mr. Padnavatham used to mutter when we watched Our Great President speak on his TV, but he was mire in the darkness of Hindu and anyway mostly I could not make out what he said unless he was shouting.

I knew I was in trouble at Mrs. Rosenfeld's because they were watching the speech on Dan Blather instead of on Fox as they ought to. As a result we were all subjected to sinister spin instead of Tony Snow and Bill O'Reilly telling us how great George W. was. When Dan mentioned (grudgingly I thought) that our great George W. had 90% approval ratings Mrs. Rosenfeld said "Certified by Arthur Andersen" and they ALL LAUGHED.

Then when George W. said, "Yet the state of our union has never been stronger" Mrs. Rosenfeld said "He sounds like Kenny-boy. Saying 'Enron has never been healthier.'" I shushed her and they all looked funny at me.

When he said, "they laugh about the loss of innocent life" she said "Like 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta'?" I shushed her and they all looked funny at me.

"Maybe you better leave," she said. I tried to explain it was a free country and so I was free to stop her from criticizing our leaders out loud, but her son who drives a truck got involved and since I have an injury to my bottom parts from friendly fire defending our great country from Grenada, I thought it was best to depart with my dignity intact.

As a result I never did hear about the Middle Eastern terrorists George W., had discovered in North Korea and the Philippines. I am sure after I left he explained the miracle of deregulation, explained why global warming is just a myth, called for repeal of gun control, ended the tyranny of minimum wage, called for vouchers and the abolition of public schools, and ended Socialist Security and the United Nations so that all of America could see the wisdom of conservative thought. It is clear our country is happy they have George W. instead of Al Gore whom they mistakenly voted for.

I was thinking of going to the bar in the bus station to watch the end of it but I knew they would rather watch the basketball game, and I am too allowed in there.

The next day I went to the bus station to tell Secret Service Agent Brown that I had discovered a nest of dangerous Socialist DemocRats. He nodded and then asked if I was still eating that ant paste. It is a note of what a great American he is that even with all his concerns about being permanently stationed at a bus terminal to look for terrorists he is still concerned about his friend and I told him so.

He sighed. I think he is as excited as I am about the job our Great President is doing, even if he cannot show it.

I also got an e-mail from Deputy Jack Oliver with this message to send to newspapers and websites spontaneously.

Dear Bob,

Tonight, President George W. Bush addressed Congress and the nation, reflecting on his first year in office and outlining his plan for a better America. Today, our country faces a unique moment in history - we are at war, our homeland was attacked and our economy is in recession. In the State of the Union speech, President Bush committed our nation to achieving three great goals of our time:

Win the War on Terrorism;
Strengthen Protections of our Homeland; and
Revitalize Our Economy and Create Jobs.

He even sent me a list of links where I could post this message. But I did not.

What is wrong with Deputy Jack? Why these wishy-washy generalities? Why is he not more pushy? Why is he not proclaiming the Bush economic miracle and pointing to the constant alerts from Homely Secretary Tom Ridge?

Why does he not point to breaking the ABM Treaty? Where is the victories over the environment and ecology? Where is the triumph of ending taxes on rich people's inheritances while giving some of us $300?

Why does he not talk about George's great and soul friend Pudding, and the way the Russians flew our spy plane back in triumph after George told the Chinese he was sorry but did not apologize?

I do not think Deputy Jack is doing a good job at all in getting out the news of this Great President (who was too elected since votes do not count). I could do a much better job, and I am not just saying that because I could probably get a hat.

By the way, let us have some sympathy for poor Jeb Bush's Great Daughter and not make jokes about "Just Say Noelle," and "the Bush crime family." That is not funny so stop it. Who among us has not tried to pretend to be a doctor and pass a fake prescription at 1 am while we had outstanding traffic warrants once in a while when we was young? It could happen to anyone. Until you have walked a mile in her shoes, you should be without sin, as Shakespeare says, or something.

Enclosing let me say that now is the time when I think we all should knuckle under and support Our Great President in whatever he wants to do without asking him what it is. And that goes for all of us, or else!


Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader Who Really Ought To be Deputy Before the Team Falls Apart, Dammit, Although That Will Never Happen.

 

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