Time with Bob Boudelang
"Harvey Pits Deserves A Raise and a Promotion Just Like
July 26, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
is sad to report that we now live in a world without justice
in this great country of ours today. Sure, the life of Our
Great President shows that any disadvantaged rich kid can
grow up to be president even if the people don't vote for
him (and you cannot prove Jeb had anything to do with that
so do not try).
But for too many other deserving Americans the pathways to
advancement are closed thanks to the tyranny of liberals and
moderates with their ugly schemes of tolerance and justice.
I am, speaking of course, of Harvey Pits, our great Security
and Exchange Commission Chairman.
Yes, he has many great Americans as friends, including Ken
Lay and Arthur Andersen and Ivan Boesky. But look at what
happened when he innocently said he should get a raise and
a promotion! Left wing extremists made FUN of him!
Worse yet, they unfairly passed a bill in Congress that forces
him to crack down instead of being kinder and gentler like
he wanted to be.
This is SO unfair. If you were looking for a psychotic murderer,
you would want Hannibal Lecture on your side, and so if you
are looking for crooks why would you not want Harvey Pits?
He is just like Hannibal Lecture, only with other people's
money instead of fava beans.
In fact, I think he should not only get his promotion and
raise, but should get one of those leather masks with the
little screen so the country and Wall Street could see what
he is really about.
But now thanks to the ugly meddling of Congress, the next
insider trader who secretly sells his stock because his company
has lost lots of money due to a crooked deal known only to
the board of directors could go to jail instead of being investigated
and left alone, like Our Great President was. We run the risk
of losing great leadership in the future because of what we
do in the present that is not like what was done in the past.
It would be a mistake for Harvey Pits to resign like everyone
says he should and deprive the American people of him. But
I am sad to report that the bus terminal has been deprived
of my leadership and skill. Now bus passengers are less secure
and informed. I blame the meddling busybodies who forced the
bus company to restate its earnings for last year by $749
million, so our great CEO Liston MacIntyre has had to lay
off 10,000 workers in order to have his annual raise. And
to think that some people want to ask questions about the
loans he got from the company and the stock that he sold.
So now I am looking for another job suitable to my skills
and talents and not just hanging around the race track and
liquor store all day. That is networking. I cannot run and
hide, you know.
am happy to report that my friend Secret Service Agent Brown
was so outraged that he left the bus terminal too, and now
is hanging around the Daisyview Trailer Park all day in sympathy.
I was hoping he would come and keep an eye on Mrs. Rosenfeld
who is a dangerous radical who ought to be thrown in jail
for calling Our Great President names like "Chimpy McDipstick"
and "Deforestation Gump," and now he is. I told him to be
careful of Mrs. Rosenfeld's savage watch dog, but the dog
likes him for some reason and sits with him on the porch where
it will not even let me near. He is getting into her confidence
over lemonade and cookies and will spring a trap soon I am
But it is a national tragedy that now Dick Cheney must run
and hide from reporters and Congress instead of threatening
them to stop asking questions, just because it turned out
he forgot to tell his stockholders that they were liable
for $2.2 billion in costs when he bought that company they
didn't want him to buy, back when he was the head of Halliburton.
When will the leftist yellow dog media stop focusing on these
ancient scandals about harmless insider trading and corporate
fraud and go back to attacking Bill Clinton for the way he
ruined America by having sex? It is so unfair.
Thanks to meddling and prodding, we are now going to have
into the September 11th attacks instead of sweeping it under
the rug and focusing on the War in Iraq like Our Great President
wanted. We can only hope that it will be held behind closed
doors so that people never find out what happened.
Speaking of hiding behind closed doors, it is terrible how
Sodom Husane keeps hiding from weapons inspectors sent by
the United Nations which ought to be abolished before it can
meddle in affairs that are none of its business. It is high
time America acted against an unelected ruler who takes away
his people's civil liberties and operates behind a veil of
secrecy while threatening the world by having weapons of mass
destruction. (And that does not mean George W. so stop saying
Now the inhuman tyrants at the UN want to poke into the world's
prisons, including ours, to investigate if there is torture.
What business is that of theirs? Why should we care about
human rights? Some of us are America, and this sort of thing
violates our constitution, although not the "cruel and unusual
punishment" part, but the part that says the president can
do whatever he wants. And so the brutal dictatorships of Denmark
and Canada ride roughshot over inlightend countries like us
and Iran and Nigeria.
But forget that and think how happy the people of Iraq will
be when we rescue them from their government by dropping bombs
on them! They will be almost as happy as the Afghanistaniards,
who ARE happy despite what a few disgruntled wedding guests
say. Accidents will happen, especially since Donald Rumsfilled
says it was no accident.
Speaking of Afghanistan, which I am glad to see no-one is,
yes, American troops are guarding
Hamid Carzeye the president we made them have, but that does
not mean that they do not want him. And I am sure he is not
worried, even though we did drop a bomb on him and wound him
the day he took office. Those people seem like happy-go-lucky
folks who forgive and forget.
But at a time when there is criticism left and right from
Democrap Socialists it is heartwarming to think that 900,000
children will go without health insurance so that rich people
can have their million-dollar-plus inheritances without paying
taxes. I hope they point that out proudly when public school
goons from the teachers union issue threats to them like "That
looks infected. You should go see a doctor." That is George
Bush's America! Poor kids and rich people pulling together
toward the dream of no taxes for rich people!
Another news, I think we owe a death of thanks to Judge
Barbour, who is cousin to Haley Barbour who was the Republican
National Chairman back when the Triad Group and the Chinese
money was not investigated by Newt Gingrich's congress so
there was no scandal. Judge Barbour was judging a lawsuit
last year for WorldCom and he threw it out of court even though
it would have revealed everything that has now come out in
the papers about the company. And that had nothing to do with
all the money that WorldCom gave the Republicans and especially
his other cousin, as everyone knows. As a result, there was
not a crisis last year, until this year. Wala!
That is the miracle of capitalism, which has made this country
great and Our Great President rich. Democrap Socialists hate
that, and that is why they are always carping and whining
about trivial things like companies
only having 37% of the money they promised workers for pensions.
They would rather see retirees drawing money from healthy
companies and being a drag on society, while voting on the
liberal plantation, then see them turned into people who are
still working at new jobs despite being old.
That is why they oppose privatization of Social Security.
They would rather keep old people locked in a safe guaranteed
return run by bureaucrats than give them Wall Street's excitement
It is just too bad that some disloyal Americans cannot knuckle
under and give Our Great President everything he wants before
he goes on another month long vacation again. But I guess
patriotism doesn't mean what it used to.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who is looking for
an employment opportunity that does not involve heavy lifting.
If you know of one, contact him at BobBoudelang@yahoo.com
or come down to Warehouse Liquors in the afternoon but not
Bob's Other Rebuttals