Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Thanks to George W.'s TIPS Program, People Will Get What Is Coming To Them!"
July 19, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot,with this week's rebuttal...

At last this week our country is on the right road to a better future thanks to Our Great President. Not that it was on the wrong road last week, or anytime since the election which you cannot prove Jeb had anything to do with and anyway people's votes don't count.

No, I am talking about the great Operation TIPS program which will allow Americans to spy on each other and report us to the government. Of all the terrific and innovative things Our Great President has done, this is the terrificest and innovativest. Now suspicious people can be rounded up by authorities and held without trials or lawyers indefinitely, just like the Founding Fathers would have wanted.

It is a great program and those human rights mongers who compare it to the Nazis in Germany are missing the point, which is this is Americans not Germans, so there.

I was so excited that I went to Kinko's (where I am too allowed in) and had these forms printed up.

 
Dear TIPS:

I think (insert name here) is a member of
alkaheeda because _______________________

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot
 

I am sort of surprised that George W. did not have forms like these made up himself, but then he is busy avoiding questions about his stock deal which was completely honest as you would know if you saw the reports which you have no right to see. He is only human, if not more so, and cannot do everything.

I have already got some filled out and ready to send as soon as Homely Director of Security Tom Ridge (who is not fired yet) tells where to send them.

 
Dear TIPS:

I think Mrs. Rosenfeld is a member of alkaheeda because here at the Daisyview Trailer Park it is as bad as Red Canada. Mrs. Rosenfeld listens to Natural Public Radio and folk music all day and will not let me watch Fox Network News on her TV, even when Bill O'Reilly is on. She also will not buy me a gun, which leaves us defenseless because the cops have taken mine away since Arjay shot the street lights out.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot

 
Dear TIPS:

I think Patrick Leahy is a member of alkaheeda because he continues to question the President and block the judges George W. wants who are not all far right wing nuts and crooks. If he were a patriotic American he would have taken the warning when the anthrax was sent to him, which you cannot prove Our Great President had anything to do with, but instead he keeps speaking out.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot

 
Dear TIPS:

I think Mrs. Rosenfeld's son who is a truck driver is a member of alkaheeda because he told me to shut up when I was trying to stop Mrs. Rosenfeld from criticizing Our Great President during the Super Bowl. Also he turns the hose on me sometimes when I am not drunk but resting.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot

 
Dear TIPS:

I think Barbara Boxer is a member of alkaheeda because she is giving our great Secretary of the Army General White such a hard time in the hearings. Yes, there was price-gouging in California when he was the head of Enron, but how was he to know that? Do you expect a busy man like that to know what is going on around him? I am sure that all 79 of the phone calls he made to Enron as he was selling his stock were just chats with old friends, like he said, and so what if he lied about making them. Now that the truth has been uncovered by the sleazy yellow dog leftist media General White has admitted it, and that is as good as being honest in my book.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot

 
Dear TIPS:

I think Mr. Jefferson at the Food Clown supermarket where I used to work in the produce department is a member of alkaheeda because do not believe a word he says about why I was fired. I was not fornicating with a plugged melon in the basement but just resting at an awkward angle, and I was not fired but quit, so there. The police could not prove those harassing phone calls were from me, and he knows it. Besides, it is not like I really wanted a phone anyway.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot

 
Dear TIPS:

I think James Carville is a member of alkaheeda because he is probably behind that horrible ad that slanders Our Great President by mentioning Harken and slanders Our Great Vice President by mentioning Halliburton and slanders our Great SEC Chairman Harvey Pits by mentioning his career. The ad is not objective since it fails to mention that in every one of those cases documents are being withheld so that no-one can know for sure those are scandals. It is disgraceful and unAmerican that such one-sided partisan propaganda should be broadcast, and it is not just me but Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Bill O. Reilly and Gordon Liddy and Michael Savage and Bob Grant and Matt Drudge and everybody else on talk radio who says so.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot

 
Dear TIPS:

I think Mr. Hernandez-Garcia is a member of alkaheeda because he is sworthy. Besides if the Puerto Rican guy from Chicago could be a Middle Eastern terrorist then so could he.

Yours truly,
An enominus patriot
 

I hope these examples will help you get the ball rolling. If we all pull together soon everybody will be accusing people hand over fist, and what a great day that will be for America, the country and the nation. Not just for us, but the children. Amen.

 
Bob Boudelang is an American patriot who sometimes rests at an awkward angle and that is how these rumors get started despite what you might have heard. You can reach him at [email protected].

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals