Time with Bob Boudelang
"Thank God (Even If Liberals Try To Stop It) That Our
Great President Can Still Poop!"
July 12, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided
that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So
here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot,with this week's
What patriotic American's heart did not skip a beat when
he heard that Our Great President had to have his bottom examined
by doctors? Not un-American Democrap socialist liberals like
Mrs. Rosenfeld at the Daisyview Trailer Park, I can tell you
It was a historic occasion when Our Great President dropped
his pants and Our Great Vice President Dick Cheney took charge
of things. Thank God (no matter what that liberal court says)
that tragedy was averted. Not that Dick Cheney being in charge
is a tragedy, but you know what I mean.
I was sure that Fox News Network would have moment by moment
coverage of the inspection, with perhaps Bill O'Reilly himself
reporting right by the President's Bottom, but Mrs. Rosenfeld
would not let me watch her television. I tried to tell her
that Bush's bottom was a matter of national importance, and
that all true patriots were concerned that he would not be
able to poop properly if something was wrong, and she made
a remark about the President you would blush to hear.
course I was not surprised that LIEberal tolerance was just
a sham of a mockery and that she had no sympathy for Our Great
President's First Rectum. But I did not threaten her, no matter
what she told her son. She sicced her vicious dog on me for
no reason at all.
Of course, the President's Great Bottom was okay and now
he can poop again. I was so glad that I spent all of Sunday
shouting "George Bush" and "Poop" at the bus terminal, in
case there were travelers who had not heard the happy news.
Some laughed aloud in delight to hear it.
Sadly, the treachery of LIEberals knows no bounds, and somebody
who was probably Mrs. Rosenfeld's son threw a firecracker
under my trailer on July 4th when I was sleeping and not passed
out drunk. That is how these rumors get started. I suppose
some people think it is funny to make an injured war veteran
panic and run around screaming about terrorists without any
pants and then turn the garden hose on him.
They will be sorry when the Homeland Security Department
is established and Tom Ridge (who is not fired yet) rules
with an iron hand. Some of us do not forget. Tempus fidgit,
unless that means something else.
And really, who is fooled by the latest smokescreen about
George W. when he was a successful businessman at Harken Industries?
I guess since the DemocRats have no real issues except the
environment and public safety and public education and race
relations and worker safety and human rights and cheaper drugs
for old people, they have to grasp at straws like business
honesty. Desperation is an ugly thing, and I think we all
can see it.
I mean really? Sure, Harken pretended to sell Aloha Petroleum
to its own executives so it wouldn't look like they were losing
money and sure, George W. sold his stock when he found out
they were going to announce that Harken was going to lose
money before the price would go down. But it is not like anyone
knew that at the time. And he did file the form that said
he might sell the stock even if he didn't file the form that
said he did sell the stock.
Do you want the kind of leader who pays attention to details?
Or do we want a leader like our Great President? I ask you.
Besides, he needed to sell the stock so he could have collateral
to borrow the $600,000 to buy $12 million dollars worth of
the Texas Rangers baseball club. Besides this was all thoroughly
investigated at the time by the guy who helped arrange that
Texas Rangers loan, and who was more likely to know if there
was anything wrong than an insider? It makes common sense
to anyone with half a mind like me.
And yes, our Great President's health care policy was drawn
up by the guy
from Merck who turned out to have lied about $12.4 billion
that his company never got. And yes, it turns out that meat
packers went on selling contaminated
meat because the Department of Agriculture Inspectors
failed to do anything when they caught them. And yes, the
head of WorldCom began lying about how much money he was making
in January 2001, and Enron began allegedly abusing the miracle
of deregulation about the same time, which you cannot prove
wasn't Ann Richards.
But you know who is responsible for all that? Slick Willie
Clintoon, that's who. If he had not got a blow job, business
would still be as honest as it was during the administration
of Our Great Father of the President, if you don't count the
Savings & Loans getting swindled out of business.
I am sure that all of these crooked CEOs said to themselves,
"If the president can get a blow job and not get thrown in
jail, then I can persuade honest hardworking Republican congressmen
to change the rules so I can steal from investors and lie
on my accounting documents and move my assets over to some
overseas place where I can avoid the tyranny of taxes which
is a good thing that will end entitlements to old people and
public school kids who are a drag on society." That is why
I blame the Democrats and not poor gullible idealists like
Tom DeLay and Phil Gramm.
That is why it was so inspiring watching Our Great President
laying down the law to the tight ends of Wall Street the other
day. They were excited to hear that Honest George W. was putting
together a swat team headed by someone who used to work for
Enron's law firm, and I am sure that the team will give those
dishonest CEOs a good swat.
Meanwhile, who is not inspired by the prospect of having
Cremona as our next Surgeon General? Not only did he finally
qualify as a doctor, but he has also shot two different criminals.
It is about time we had a Surgeon General who shoots people
instead of namby-pamby intellectuals who obsess about tobacco,
and safe sex, and public health and other junk science. And
so what if he lied about having emergency room experience?
He only did that because he knew that was important. Besides,
it is not like he lied about anything important, such as who
he got a blow job from.
Finally, let us all give a vote of thanks to the great job
George W. has done reforming the INS. Yes, they let the September
11th hijackers in and even renewed some of their visas. But
when a princess
of Saudi Arabia was threatened with a felony just because
she pushed her lazy maid down a flight of steps, they sprang
into action and kept the maid from getting back into the country
to testify at the trial. That is justice, George W. style!
Hip hip hooray, and let's all be glad he can poop.
Bob Boudelang is a respected Republican team leader and
wounded war veteran in the bottom due to friendly fire in
Grenada and not a drunk so there was no call to embarrass
him like that. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org,
or come down to the bus terminal and listen.
Bob's Other Rebuttals