Time with Bob Boudelang
All Toast Our Great President's Jenius With A Tall Glass of
March 15, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided
that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So
here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's
Really, why do LIEberals even bother to get up each day when
all they have is their dreary message of tolerance and progress?
Why do they not just lay down for the great jugglenut that
is George W. Bush and the 90% of Americans who will do whatever
he asks no questions asked?
Those are facts and yet Democraps lack the objectivity and
intelligence to blindly obey them. Instead we have to hear
their niggling (which is not racist so stop saying that) questions
Worse, they have the nerve to laugh OUT LOUD when Our Great
Attorney General John Ashcroft sings "The Eagle Is Sore" or
when Our Great President George W. Bush forgets the gestures
to Eensy Weensy Spider. They do not think, as a sensible person
would, that the great George W. might have more to think about
than what "Dried Him Up Again" looks like. He has his Eensy
Weensy Judge to complain about, and he had to fight for the
Eensy Weensy steel tariff and the Eensy Weensy Mexicans amnesty,
not some spider climbing up a rainspout. Eensy Weensy makes
my blood boil!!
They also make fun of our Homely Director of Security Ridge
and his color system, which everyone can see took months of
planning. What if the wrong color was used? It would have
been horrible to have a Red Alert that was puce or maroon.
Why are they not proud this Administration is now Yellow?
I have been shouting it out at the bus station, and people
point me out proudly when I do. "This Administration is now
Yellow! No maroon!"
But now we see the total failure of Big Government Liberalism
in the IRS giving visas to the September 11 hijackers, six
months late. Yes, John Ashcroft had it all farmed
out to a private company which actually sent out the visas,
but that does not mean John Ashcroft or privatization is to
blame. Bill Clinton is, which is so obvious I do not have
to explain it to you, even though I could. I really could
and if you don't know the reason I am not going to tell you.
I just ask you this, who is ex-president now?
George W. is going to reform the system, you wait and see,
so that a six month delay like this will never happen again
and the visas will go out ON time.
Speaking of Slick Willy, what a week of disaster for him,
and do not try to pretend it was not. Besides being unmasked
pretending to be Deputy Jack in the infamous hat scheme, Johnny
Ray unleashed his report showing how he could have been persecuted
because there really was evidence, which I guess he forgot
to include but was certainly damming as we all know. And Dan
Burton released the report showing that Roger Klintoon, who
took drugs, got money for pardons that his brother did not
give out. I guess you know what that means. I think it is
time for another investigation to get to the bottom of this.
But instead of excepting that the Klintoon family are criminals
who haven't been arrested or charged with anything yet, and
slinking away in shame and disgrace, Demoncrats continue their
complaining and activism.
Look at the hippocritical fuss over Our Great President threatening
the world with nukes. It is important to let other countries
know we might wipe them off the earth if they so much as spit
at us, otherwise there would be tyranny and injustice.
George W. Bush is ready to send our troops to fight all the
time with anybody for any reason, and he will from now on.
That is the only way to have peace. Do you not understand
that simple fact? Otherwise we will be terrorized by these
tiny little nations. That is why we need a missile shield
to protect us all, and tax cuts on rich people so we can pay
for it out of Socialist Security and public schools.
That is what Dick Cheney is over there telling our allies
in the Middle East, where you cannot prove he is discussing
the oil business and so what if he is? We have the nukes and
you are with us or against us. They respect that and now they
know where we stand and that we are their big tough friend,
not just another country like France. That way we will never
have to face the nightmare of conservation and the threat
of an untapped Arctic wildlife preserve. Amen.
George's soul friend Pudding understands this and that is
why he only criticized when he found out Russia is still a
target. He knows that ordinary people cannot look into each
other's eyes and trust, the way the former head of the KGB
and the son of the former head of the CIA can. That is adults
in charge, all right.
And while George is ready to fight, he can also make peace
if he has to. That is why he sent his special onvoy to the
Middle East to start peace talks that are not "shoot the moon"
peace talks. Now there has been a one-year cooling off period
from Clinton's "shoot the moon" peace talks and both sides
are ready to talk, if you don't count the bloodshed and fighting.
If Clinton's "shoot the moon" peace talks had succeeded,
perhaps today there would be no reason for George W. to send
his onvoy. I think everyone in the Middle East owes Our Great
President a vote of thanks for disrupting those talks, back
when he was Our Great Governor of Texas. But I know they will
never give him what he deserves.
George is used to that, though. Unlike draft-dodger Bill,
he is a warrior, and you will notice that the Viet Cong did
not invade Texas when he was in the National Guard. Nor Alabama
(and George W. doesn't have to prove that the official records
are wrong. He was there, allright!). As Tom DeLay says, we
might have won if George W had gone to VietNam. Instead Al
Gore, Tom Dasshole and Richard Gephardt did, and we tied.
Arrest my case!
Yet we hear the moderates and socialist LIEberals wining
"Where's Osama? Where's Chic Omar? Where's the anthrax terrorist?
Where's the Enron secret partnerships?" Did you not hear
the great George W. tell you Osama Bin Laden has been margarineized
and has slipped through the cracks? George W. promised us
Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive" in September, and now he is.
It is a disgrace to the memory of all the brave people who
died on 9/11 to keep obsessing on one person just because
he is responsible for the attacks. Instead we should ignore
him and pick a fight with Sodom Husane's Iraq or Iran or that
other hotbed of Muslin fanaticism North Korea. Or the Phillipines
or Somalia or Yemen.
Bennett knows this. That is why he has formed a new committee
to attack Jimmy Carter and Maxine Waters to show the solidarity
of all Americans. Do we want to live here under George W,
or do we want to live in the kind of country where people
can ask questions and criticize the war when they feel like
And now when the defeatist and traitorous DemocRats are trying
to waste billions taking sewage out of drinking water, our
Great President Bush is standing up to fight
back. He knows we need those billions for the war, and
not because the Bush and Bin Laden families are in the arms
business, so stop saying that.
Well, I am not among the cowardly tiny minority who oppose
the greatest president of all time, and I plan to drink right
out of the toilet from now on to show my support. I want war,
not clean water!
It will also show all those envirowackos and tree huggers
out there that their "so-called" concern for health is nothing
but hysteria and junk science. And I hope whenever you see
a toilet from now on you will think of the George W. Bush,
the Greatest President of All Time, and what he is doing to
I am sure that other true American patriots will join me.
Would it not be a great day if Rush Limbaugh and Trent Lott
and Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter and William Buckley and
Tom DeLay and Katherine Harris (who you cannot prove a thing)
and Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms and Bob Barr and William
Bennett and Dick Cheney and the Supreme Court and all the
rest joined George W. in public for a toast to conservative-ism
with a big glass of sewage water? I know I would. Maybe John
Ashcroft would sing.
Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who could be
throwing up from anything. That is just junk science and you
Bob's Other Rebuttals