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Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"The Great George W. Express Is Sure Running Over Our Civil 'Liberties' Now!"
November 16, 2001
by Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

What a week of triumphs and applause for our Great President George W. Bush. The Northern All Lions has swept through Kabul and Lalalabad and other places with complicated names, less than a week after George told them not to. But they were too inspired by his leadership to hold back I guess.

I imagine the leftist DemocRats were shaking in their boots watching Afghanistaniards shaving their beards and shouting "Death to Pakistan" in the streets like any happy people would.

Even the leftist media are beginning to get off board the train of progress and diversity and on board the Great George W. express. Good bye civil "liberties" and hello "military trials."

Only the other day, Ann Compton of ABC News said "So the White House is wanting to show that President Bush has the courage to go forward with his vacation." I guess we are all learning what a great and brave job George W. is doing on the days when he does it, and what a great and brave vacation he does when he does not. And when he does not, Dick Cheney does it from wherever he is hiding, although that is not because he is afraid but because he needs to be safe.

And now George W. and his good and soul friend Pudding are down on Georgeís ranch having a good old fashioned ho-down, like the old West only with golf carts. I wish I was there to ho with them and tell them what a good job they are doing together gazing into each otherís souls. Unfortunately, I am still spending my nights scraping gum off the bus station floor and part of my days making the airport safe for everyone, but I am with them in spirit. I would not mind some good Texas barbecue either, as I am almost out of the freeze-dried food I bought for the KY2 emergency. All that is left is some gray stuff that gives me the runs. But it is worth it to have thwarted Bill and sHrILLARYís plan to become emperor for life.

And yes, Pudding still will not give up the ABM treaty while Dubya is giving up two thirds of our missiles, but we will not need our missiles once we get our anti-missile defense shield up and stop worrying about tests and cost overruns. If the son of the head of the CIA canít trust the former head of the KGB, what has the world come to?

And I was glad to see that George W. boycotted the UN nuclear test ban treaty conference this week. The rest of the world has some nerve worrying about our nukes. That is our job, not some decadent Europeans. That is why the people who thought up the bomb, were Americans, like Einstein and Fermy. It was part of the divine plan, as the Rev. Cloyd says.

I think every decent American was pleased to see that John Ashcroft, our great attorney general, who is not a dangerous nut so stop saying that, was finally going to stop persecuting civil rights violations and pollution cases. Every good Negro knows that there is no more bigotry against inferior folks, and that the only ones causing trouble now are troublemakers, like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpman. Look at Clarence Thomas or O.J. Watts or the guy who fills in for Rush. They never say a word about discrimination or diversity, and every once in a while they get their picture taken with Trent Lott or our great President just as if they were real Republicans.

And as for pollution, even John Graham, whom George W. named to oversee regulations says smog blocks harmful youvee rays and that too little dioxin is harmful. So you see, we have nothing to worry about. It is all as silly as fussing about too much arsenic in the drinking water.

Now Ashcroft can focus his attention on important issues like dying people in Oregon dying too soon on purpose. If God did not mean these people to die painfully because they are sinners he would not be killing them that way, as the Reverend Cloyd says. It is the height of arrogance for voters to think just because they pass a law they can thwart Godís will. This is the first step toward allowing legalized abortion to be allowed in this country like it is overseas, where we are withholding our UN dues to stop it so it does not become a problem like in this country. Also gays.

John Ashcroft knows this. And yet some people call him a right wing nut. Well in my little golden book he is a patriot with a capital P. If I saw him I would yell out "P!"

Of course all of those who oppose our great attorney general are decadent LIEberal atheists who hate America and everything it stands for. That is why they are squawking about fair trials and evidence and attorney/client privilege. That is exactly what Alkaheeda is against and that is why we must toss it out the window ourselves.

Strom Thurmond will not take the immoral easy way out like the weak left wing extremists in Oregon. He is still serving proudly in the Senate even though he is going to be in the hospital instead from now on. Even if he is brain dead and on machines like now he will never pull the plug and let the Governor appoint a Democrat. He has spent his life fighting progress and the Democrat "Do Something" Congress, and he will die that way after Elizabeth Dole wins the election no matter what they have to do to keep him going. It is hard not to be inspired. He is still the symbol of right wing strength and decency, and has been ever since he first told America how Harry Truman conspired with the Commies to integrate the Armed Forces.

Meanwhile, where do the ignorant Democrap Socialists get off trying to terrorize America with facts and hearings? Just the other day there was a so-called Congressional hearing at which somebody charged that 73% of the bomb detecting machines were not used.

When will this witch hunt stop! I know for a fact that is a blade and lie because at the airport we have five of those machines and one of them is almost always running as the bags are placed near it. I run it myself. So there!

Just this week my supervisor Mr. Washington put me on bomb screening luggage behind the scenes detail. It was a reward for doing such a good job by the X-Ray machine. You would not believe it but there were terrorists constantly trying to get on the planes. I could tell because they were reading subversive magazines like Newsweek and Rolling Stone. Some even had beards. After about the second one I caught Mr. Washington came out of the cocktail lounge and rewarded me with this new post.

Now I run the bomb screening machine behind the scenes for checked luggage, and every pieces passes right by the machine, whether it is on or not. Mr. Washington told me that the manual to operate the machine was in the drawer of the desk there but all I found were some old Jujubes and a Weekly World News.

You would not believe it but Nostradamus actually predicted the World Trade Center attacks, and also that Hillary Clinton would be booed. No wonder the terrorists sent them anthrax to try to keep these brave journalists quiet. There was a photo of Nostradamus in his pointy hat with moons and stars on it, so it must be true. He was a great profit, which is why they named the University of Nostre Dame after him.

I would tell you more but the Weekly World News was sort of dusty and there was no sense risking my neck reading it. Mr. Boudelangís motherís sister-in-law didnít raise any dummies, I can tell you that, if you donít count my cousin Earl who is in the Home.

Anyway, I would have told Mr. Washington that I couldnít find the manual to operate the bomb detecting machine, but he does not like to be distracted while he is in the cocktail lounge. They have knockwursts. He follows the soap operas too but he is not a pansy or Gayo-American to use the politically incorrect term. I know because he can cuss a blue streak.

Besides I am a red blooded American and can figure out anything with a little time and injun newity. After I got the first bag wedged in it and Mr. Washington got through cussing me out, I realized that it would operate much smoother if I just put the bag beside it. That way if there was a bomb it would whistle or shoot off fireworks or whatever it does, and if it was not a bomb it would not grind up the bag and burn out the conveyor like the one machine did. Another problem solved, the way our Great President would!

So "P!" for John Ashcroft and ho George W.! Together we can solve all our problems, even if we cannot find the booklet!

Bob Boudelang is a Proud American Patriot who has not stolen anything out of anybodyís luggage, least of all travelers checks and a camera. That was probably terrorists trying to distract attention from his terrorism. So there.

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