Time with Bob Boudelang
"Hooray! Our Great President Bush Will Soon Have
Us All Eating Pesticides For Money!"
November 30, 2001
by Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot
In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided
that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So
here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's
Well, who can deny the great George W. express is now rolling
down the tracks of history like an unstoppable force that
will last a thousand years? Tomorrow belongs to us all right,
and we are one people, one nation and one leader, to coin
a phrase. Hail Bush, our great leader!
This would be the greatest country on earth except for that
tiny minority of Democrap Socialists and Moderates who no
one listens to but who continue to oppress us all with their
constant blather about civil liberties and the Bill of Rights.
Listen! I don't want any civil liberties, and I don't know
anyone who does either. So let's stop that now, or else.
How George W. and his good friend John Ashcroft put up with
this constant slander and reporting is beyond me. Just this
week, a "columnist" reported that our great attorney general
calico cats are sent by the devil.
Well, so what? Can you prove they are not? It does not make
him a dangerous crazy person so stop saying that. Yes, he
is holding people in jail without charging them, and yes he
will listen in to attorney-client discussions, and yes he
will torture suspects, and yes he will hold secret trials
with secret evidence, but how else is he going to protect
America's basic freedoms? You keep forgetting this is a battle
between civilization and savages, and that is why we are taking
no prisoners and having massacres.
Another words, stop whining about those cluster bombs, as
they are just to kill people over there, as Rumfilled said.
Here at home, Osama Bin Dasshole has shown again what an
irresponsible madman he is by putting off the Senate vote
on the energy bill and drilling in the Arctic Natural Wildlife
Refuse. It is as if the terrorists have won.
What will happen with America's energy crisis, especially
now that oil prices are down and there isn't a crisis? It
is jeopardizing our national security and increasing our dependents
on foreign oil not to use up all the oil we have here as quickly
as we can. Doesn't he see that? Or is it that he does not
care? He would rather have us mired in the nightmare of conservation.
Why do the Democrap Socialists hate our great energy companies
and the miracle of capitalism so much? Look at nuclear power.
How is the two parties dealing with the crisis of nuclear
Scare-mongers like SHrillary Klitoon are talking about the
dangers of terrorists attacking our nuclear plants and want
to make the Nuclear Regulatory Committee keep potassium iodide
tablets just to prevent cancer. Meanwhile brave and freedom-defending
Republicans like Joe Barton are renewing the bill that limits
the liability of nuclear power plant owners to what it was
in 1954. Which is the approach that is likely to give us more
nukes, I ask you? Remember, the nuclear power industry has
never had a serious accident if you ignore Three Mile Island
No wonder Americans are angry at the LIEberals and the Clintoons
and their "so called" peace and prosperity. Thank goodness
our great and decent president (who was only arrested and
convicted twice and that was long ago so get over it) has
ended that, although it is not his fault.
Why, just this week, a panel of economists agreed that the
recession George W. told us we were in in December actually
started in March. And who was ex-president at that time? I
rest my case.
I think that I told you last time that I had lost my part
time job at the airport stopping terrorist bombs and it had
nothing to do with any thefts from luggage so stop saying
that. You cannot prove I did not buy that leather coat and
lose the receipt.
At any rate, I was somewhat blue at the thought that airline
passengers would be prevented from relaxing due to my vigilance
and watchfulness, and have to worry about government security
instead. I have to say I was also worried because Mr. Padnavatham
has just started letting me watch his television again, and
without the extra job, he would have to be worrying about
his rent again. He will not let me watch if I am not up-to-date,
as he is mired in the heathen darkness of Hindu and black,
although not like ordinary black people. I am as human as
the next guy, if not more so.
And then I was emptying the trash cans at the bus station
and I found this
in the left wing extremist Los Angeles Times.
I was very happy to see this further evidence of the Bush
economic miracle, and tore it right out of the paper to save.
Who would guess that something to make money as easy as this
would be available to ordinary people? I guess this shows
Bush does not only do things for fat cat millionaires, so
stop saying that! This is like the tax rebate earlier this
year which would have given me $600 if I had paid taxes and
been married. Hooray for George W! You will notice Slick Willie
Klintoon did not let us eat pesticides for money.
That very day I went to the hardware store and bought a big
can of ant paste. It had a funny texture but the taste was
not so bad on a Ritz cracker once I got used to it. And despite
the hysterical propaganda and fear-mongering of envirowhackos
and DemocRATs, I was perfectly all right, once the dizziness
and sweats had passed and the ringing in my ears went away.
What I realized on the second day was that the part of the
news story I tore out did not say where I could go to get
the money for eating the ant paste. It was typical slipshod
left-wing yellow journalism of the worst stripe. When will
Americans realize how the media deceives them like this and
get rid of Dan Blather and Peter Jennings who is not even
from this country?
I thought Secret Service Agent Brown might know but he did
not. He was very excited too about what our great President
had done. "You are eating insectasides for money?!?" he kept
saying in a loud voice during one of the long talks we have
almost every week. Then he shook his head in admiration.
It is about time someone like me ripped the lid off the so-called
"environment" and the disgraceful tactics these tree-huggers
and health nuts use to spread their gloomy message of clean
air and clean water. These red bumps on my face and arms could
be from anything, and you know it.
Meanwhile, I hope you left wing extremists feel guilty about
the way you have destroyed the great Enron Corporation with
your ugly price caps and "so called" regulations. You should
all hang your heads in shame if you had any. Enron was doing
great under the miracle of deregulation, despite the sniveling
and wining about price gouging. Then along came the price
caps which would never work, and wala! Well, if California
voters were dumb enough to vote for people who put in deregulation,
they deserved to pay for it. This is supposed to be the free
market, not communist Sweden.
If Democraps like Dasshole had acted quickly, Enron would
have had its income taxes refunded for ten years and be able
to go on somehow. Instead, they are almost out of business
instead. Now all their workers are out of work with just Socialist
Security to depend on since their pensions are worthless.
Of course it is too bad that Enron would not let the workers
sell their stock at the same time the top executives did,
but that was just a coincidence and could have happened to
If Enron doesn't tell us all that Social Security should
be given to the stock market, nothing ever will.
Now poor Ken Lay is almost out of a job with only a few millions
of dollars. Thank goodness he is not being taxed as he would
have been under Slick Willy. There is even talk that the Securities
and Exchange Commission will do something although I am sure
George W. will not let that happen.
At least the Clintoons and their progress is gone and not
a moment too soon. It is just a year since we narrowly escaped
the fate of having more of it under Al Gore, who did not win
since the votes were not counted, and what a lucky thing that
was too. We owe a debt of gratitude to Jeb and Katherine Harris,
who you cannot prove had anything to do with it.
Instead we are living in the golden days of today under our
great and jenius leader George W. Bush. If I had told you
on election day last year that a year from today which is
now that this great country of ours would no longer be burdened
with a surplus, and be digging out from under a terrorist
attack, and getting rid of the ABM and germ warfare treaties,
and keeping the Reagan papers secret, and helping the Northern
All Lions massacre their enemies in Afghanistan, and seriously
discussing refunding ten years worth of corporate income taxes,
and holding secret trials and maybe torturing suspects, and
getting ready to go after Saddam Hussane again, and eating
insecticide for money, you would not have believed me. Sometimes
the change makes me feel dizzy myself, although that may be
the ant paste.
Boudelang is a great American patriot and scientist who has
to go lie down now for a while until the spasm stops. If anyone
knows where you go to get the money for eating the ant paste,
please call. Mr. Padnavatham will take the message. Don't
mention the airport thing.
Bob's other rebuttals