Blog Box

December 9, 2005
Compiled by Delilah Boyd, A Scrivener's Lament

Hip, Hip... Disarray!

Is there a Republican sex scandal brewing in DC? Is Joementum the new Zell? Is the "War On Festivus" nextivus? What do you get when you combine comics, blogging, and logic? Plus, Dubya's poll-driven drivel, Rove's expensive yet sucky defense, and holiday shopping ideas for the resoundingly average child from Baby Bush Toys.

But first... which political party is actually "in disarray?" Ahem. From Roget's II:

disarray NOUN: A lack of order or regular arrangement: chaos, clutter, confusedness, confusion, derangement, disarrangement, disorder, disorderedness, disorderliness, disorganization, jumble, mess, mix-up, muddle, muss, scramble, topsy-turviness, tumble. Slang : snafu.

And Republicans accuse Democrats of being "in disarray?" What a crock!

Joe, Hillary & Howard

Jeez, you'd think Joe Lieberman was the last living Democrat on the planet. The Republicans, including George "Jumping-Jaw" Bush and Dick "F-U" Cheney, have quoted Sen. Joe Lieberman's support for "staying the course in Iraq" so often this week, I've completely lost count. Add a dash of Hillary hatred and a pinch of Howard Dean dissing... et voilą - Democratic Disarray!

Fortunately, Pre$$titutes is on this story like white on rice and points out the reason for the dominant media's joyous echo: "It's one of the iron-clad principles of Pre$$titution: Bush may be down, but Democrats are worse."

Was it only last month that Taegan Goddard's Political Wire published this post?

Republicans in Disarray To those who need proof the elections this week had national implications for Republicans, look no further than Capitol Hill. The New York Times: "The postponement on a contentious budget-cutting bill was a striking display of the discord and political anxiety running through the Republican Party." The Washington Post: "House Republican leaders are forced to pull their budget-cutting bill off the House floor amid growing dissension in Republican ranks." The Wall Street Journal: "Plagued by internal divisions, Republicans stumbled badly on two budget fronts... Republican leaders insisted that the setbacks were temporary. But the level of disarray was striking, and the delays throw a monkey wrench into plans to wrap up this session of Congress."

I've also lost count of the Republicans who've called for our troops to come home since Congressman Murtha spoke truth to power. Did anyone in the dominant media add this to the long list of "Republican Disarray" talking points? I didn't think so.

Another Republican rule of thumb: when in doubt, change the subject. Which brings us to...

Dubya's Department of Compartmentalization

Blinders On, Mr. President? Today is Economy Day, not Iraq Day. Got that, Sir?

Don't you just love it when a manly man like George W. Bush stays the course and ignores all other topics when he speechifies? Last week President Dubya decided not to include news of ten Marine troop deaths during his Rose Garden "gee, our economy is swell" notecard-reading photo-op, even though he'd been informed the night before and briefed the morning of the speech. Judd (at Think Progress) has the details and the Snotty McClellan press corps transcript confirmation.

By the way, George W.'s Big Fat Iraq Speech was written by a pollster. Yep, It's a fact. Editor & Publisher dissects the New York Times story on Peter D. Feaver, pollster/professor/presidential advisor and speech writer, and incudes this choice Times quote from a Feaver colleague:

"The Pentagon doesn't need the president to give a speech and post a document on the White House Web site to know how to fight the insurgents. The document is clearly targeted at American public opinion."

But the Democrats are the ones in disarray, aren't they? Why all these speeches now - two and a half years later - if not to appeal to Bush's incredible shrinking base? TVNewsLies calls the president (with good reason) "Deaf Man Talking." Sigh.

DeLayed Disarray

What do you get when you combine comics, blogging and logic? Com*Log*ic, of course! Magickmuffin, blogging via Blogger.com only since October, has managed to translate news stories and weird GOP logic into original comics and commentary unlike any other blogger I know of.

If by Tom DeLay's defense that checks are not the same as cash, then how come checks are used as cash? How do you think it is possible to receive corporate campaign money through your PAC (which is illegal under Texas law), then funnel that money through the GOP's coffers, then have that money funneled back into the Texas candidates races in the exact same amount of the corporate checks?

Watch out, Magickmuffin - you're way too smart for your own good. (I hope to learn more about what makes Magickmuffin's excellent blog tick in the near future. Stay tuned.)

Oops... time for BushCo to change the subject...

Oh My God! We've killed #3! Maybe.

Stop talking about Tom DeLay - "we" have captured and/or killed a #3 Al Qaeda leader (note: #3, not another #2 - "we" probably couldn't get away with that claim again).

Wait, though - his body is missing. Maybe he's alive and just missing a leg or something. Or maybe he's been resurrected... so we can kill him again. Blah3.com has the particulars and writes: "Al Qaeda must be Arabic for 'won't stay dead' or something."

Can't dwell on this story, though. Quick! Look over there! The godless horde is trying to keep religious stamps off of our envelopes!

Department Store Deity Disarray

Is the "War On Festivus" nextivus? Probably not, but the so-called WOC (War On Christmas) isn't just for stores any more. JRoth (Anarchitect) reaches way down deep to find the truth behind those rumors of "No more religious US postage stamps. Ever." Guess whose right-wing blogabimbo DNA you'd find if you yanked hard enough at the root of this story? Here's a hint from Anarchitect's post title: "Newsflash: Malkin Full of Shit on Stamps."

For more news on the War On Christmas front, check out Scoobie Davis' hilarious phone call to Bill O'Reilly and The World According To Pooh's burning question: "Christians say W not Christian enough. How long before Bill O'Reilly denounces him?"

Rove's Defense In Disarray

Firedoglake's between-the-lines analysis of David Corn's "Mystery Of The Second Novak" makes more sense than anything written, edited, vetted, and printed by all of the major newspapers on the Viveca Novak connection put together. And Atrios's single-sentence take on the second Novak would make the best headline: "Luskin, according to sources close to Viveca Novak, was a longtime source of hers, not a close friend (as has been wrongly reported)."

Speaking of "wrongly reported"...

DAMN! (Dominant American Media Nexis)

When Ed Strong (The Daily Mindbender) begins a tirade like this, you know it's going to be a keeper:

One of the more depressing phenomena in our time is the frequency with which dominant (so-called "mainstream") U.S. media reports without question the most mendacious imaginable utterances of criminal policymakers. How many times in recent years have we seen television newscasters dumbly relay the Bush White House's blatantly false claim that its massive and starkly regressive tax cuts for the wealthy few provide serious "tax relief" for "the middle class" and "everyone who pays taxes?" --snip-- How many times have we witnessed "mainstream" (concentrated corporate-state) media unquestioningly broadcast the laughable notion that the Bush administration wants to establish "democracy" and "freedom" in Iraq?

Hey, Ed. Here's a topic for you to consider: Media Silent On Possible Republican Sex Scandal.

According to The Hotline:

Sometimes we read too many political clips and overlook some amazing things staring us in the face. Among those in Monday's edition, this little factoid, culled from Sunday's San Diego Union-Tribune blockbuster digging deeper into the Duke Cunningham's relationship with "co-conspirator No. 1," a.k.a. lobbyist Brent Wilkes. According to the U-T, Wilkes also "ran a hospitality suite, with several bedrooms, in" DC -- "first in the Watergate Hotel and then" in a Capitol Hill hotel.

Psst! "In a Capitol Hill hotel" usually means either The Mayflower or The Hilton.

Holiday Shopping Ideas From Baby Bush Toys

What should Republicans buy for their resoundingly average Baby BushBots? Baby Bush Toys has the perfect holiday gift selection! Choices include:

Terror Alert Xylophone (pictured left)

Twisty Thing That Is Red

Circle Of Liberty Puzzle

Lil' Looming Disaster Pillow

Freedom Dinger

The Red Ball Counter

All toys are priced to please even the most discerning Bush supporter.

Democratic Disarray, My Ass!

Republicans believe if they change the subject often enough, no one will notice that their party is the one in total disarray. They also believe that accusing Democrats of that which best describes their own party is not news. Oh, it's news, Repukes - and it's despicable.

I watched this same scenario play out with Walter Mondale: voters all said that they "liked and respected" Mondale, but "he's changed his mind too often for me to support him. He just lacks a coherent plan." Sound familiar?

This is what I've learned about Republicans over the years: they believe it's better to have a piss-poor plan and stick to it at all bloody cost (and I do mean bloody!) because that way, no one can accuse your party of being "in disarray." And to Republicans, that is a fate far worse than, say, 2100+ troop deaths.

Frankly, I'd rather have leaders whose plans evolve as the facts on the ground change. Leaders who challenge each other to come up with the best plan possible, not just the most politically helpful plan. Leaders who do the right thing, damn it!

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