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October 14, 2005
Compiled by Delilah Boyd, A Scrivener's Lament

Pop Quiz

Who told you the truth about WMDs? How many Americans want to impeach George W. Bush? Who are the Top Five Crazies among us? We're waiting for the second what of Jesus? Okay, this test isn't nearly as exhilarating as the "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" ordeal where only the penitent man may pass - thwack! It won't even hurt your GPA. But it was inspired by bloggers who ask far better questions and analyze BushCo antics better than all but a scant few professional journalists.

So sit up straight, and keep your eyes to the front. There will be no talking whatsoever.

I Suppose We Could Have A Bake Sale

1. Who commissioned the recent Bush Impeachment poll, in which a majority of Americans supported impeachment if George W. lied about Iraq?

A. The Mainstream Media
B. Afterdowningstreet.org
C. Congress

2. What does it take to commission such polls?

A. A whole shitload of money
B. The integrity of the polling organizations.
C. Congressional oversight.

Check your answers at Daily Kos.

Paging Dr. Kevorkian!

3. Name the Top Five Crazies among us. (Choose five from the list):

President Bush
Ann Coulter
Tom DeLay
Rev. James Dobson
Sean Hannity
Kim Jong-il
Rush Limbaugh
Charles Manson
Pat Robertson
Michael Savage
Rev. Sun Myung Moon

Check your answers at Mellow. And you know I'm just kidding about paging the good doctor, don't you, Agent Mike?

He'll Huff and He'll Puff!

Read the following and answer the question:

Rep. Tom DeLay said District Attorney Ronnie Earle, who is prosecuting him for trying to involve corporate money in Texas politics, has taken such contributions himself. "It's real interesting he has this crusade against corporate funds. He took corporate funds, and he's taken union funds, for his own re-election. That's against the law," Mr. DeLay told The Washington Times yesterday.

4. Is taking corporate and/or union contributions against the law?

A. Yes. Tom DeLay wouldn't lie!
B. No, provided that such contributions are used solely for overhead expenses.

Now, read this fundraising appeal from DeLay's TRMPAC and answer the questions:

"Unlike other organizations, your corporate contribution to TRMPAC will be put to productive use ... Rather than just paying for overhead, your support will fund a series of productive and innovative activities designed to increase our level of engagement in the political arena."

5. Who's the lying snake-in-the-Texas-grass?

A. District Attorney Ronnie Earle
B. Tom DeLay (aka Lying Snake-In-The-Texas-Grass)

6. Who has the best research skills and demonstrates a genuine thirst for the truth?

A. The Washington Times
B. Any lefty blogger

Check your answers at The Stakeholder.

Let's hear it for Pro-War Non-Political Counter-Protests Rallies!

7. Why is the right-wing suddenly calling for "non-political" rallies, when nothing is more political than questions about war and peace?

A. Because Republicans have the same problem people who sell multi-level-marketing schemes have - the language they use to justify their actions is not credible.
B. Because Republicans can't use the White House's talking-points - they've been discredited.
C. Because Republicans can't use patriotic language - it's been co-opted by the peace-marchers.
D. The fear of 9/11 no longer blinds Americans to the real costs of the Iraqi War.
E. All of the above

Check your answer at one of the best blogs on the net, Brainshrub.com. While you're there, check out some of Brainshrub's archived posts. This blog is definitely bookmark worthy!

What Did He Know, And When Did He Know It?

8. Did Jim/Jeff Guckert/Gannon really have access to the famous internal government Plame/Wilson memo, now known to have been shared on Air Force One?

A. Yes. His sexual contacts, er, "journalistic" tentacles dig (cough) deep into the current Bush White House.
B. Maybe.
C. No, JJ/GG is a used-condom-faced liar. I suspect plagiarism.

9. If there's a plagiarist at the heart of the JJ/GG "Wilson Interview" story, who is it?

A. Jim/Jeff Guckert/Gannon
B. David S. Cloud (Wall St Journal)

Check your answers at Why Are We Back In Iraq?, Susan G.'s Daily Diary, and - if you must - the original story and JJ/GG comments at (cough) Free Republic.

When Breaking News Is A Rerun

Read the passage and answer the questions:

What Rove is reported to have said, according to (Murray) Waas' article, is "he had not disclosed to anyone in the press that Valerie Plame, the wife of an administration critic, was a CIA employee...." Rove also reportedly told the Preznit that he hadn't done any leaking to the media in order to discredit Joe Wilson. Let's parse this, shall we? It may be true that Rove did not expressly tell members of the press or others that "Valerie Plame" was a CIA employee. (We're getting into the "definition of is is" territory here, so bear with me...) What Rove actually said was that Wilson's wife worked at the CIA (according to Matt Cooper at Time, anyway). See the enormous difference? No? Yeah, me neither.

10. What's the difference between revealing a CIA operative's name and revealing her identity?

A. A lot.
B. No difference under the law.

11. Who's put two and two together once again on this "RoveSpeak" rerun?

A. Mainstream media
B. Bloggers

Check your answers at Firedoglake and at my blog, A Scrivener's Lament. Then, just for fun, read James Wolcott's post, "The Fucking Indiana Jones of Dust Bunnies," about Judy Miller's delusional Rovian Scooter adventures behind bars, which rival Jimmy/Jeff's "talent" for fiction.

Who's Been Borking Harriet Miers?

12. Match the quote with its source:

Source Choices: Robert Bork; Sam Brownback; Pat Buchanan; Charles Krauthammer; John Kerry; Ted Kennedy; Hillary Clinton; Howard Dean

A. _____ Ms. Miers has "no experience with constitutional law whatever. It is wrong for W. to choose a justice simply to have a woman's perspective. Conservative reaction veers between disapproval and outrage."

B. _____ "It would be futile for the very decent lady to compete with John Roberts's masterly performance because that would be like following Elvis."

C. _____ "Conservatives are agonized, depressed, and virtually heartbroken."

D. _____ "If Harriet Miers were not a crony of the president of the United States, her nomination to the Supreme Court would be a joke, as it would have occurred to no one else to nominate her."

Check your answers at NewYork-legal-attorney-lawyer.com, yet another New York Times Select back door. Prepare to be as shocked as Claude Rains was in Casablanca. I definitely experienced a true "Claude Rains Moment" when I read that blog post!

The Hoax And The Hair-Shirted Mayor

13. What's worse?

A. Crying wolf
B. Continuing to cry wolf after BushCo backs off... because you're facing a tough re-election campaign.

Check your answer at Desert Rat Democrat.

Now, read the following and answer more questions on the New York terror hoax:

The terror alert against New York's subway system, which was given to New York mayor Bloomberg over the first weekend this month and then held at the request of the federal government until last Thursday, was a hoax. Both the FBI and the DHS thought the threat was questionable, even though it was the CIA and the Pentagon that gathered the information from the Iraqi informant in the first place. A local TV news station had the information on Tuesday, the 4th, but held it at the request of federal officials until Thursday.

14. Who put the Keystone Kops in charge of threat assessment?

A. That's one of Rumsfeld's "unknown unknowables."
B. George W. Bush, the Bart Simpson of presidents.

15. Did the feds order a hold on the story in order to check it out?

A. Please. Are you kidding? After a string of bad news stories, timing was their only concern.
B. Of course! The Bush administration genuinely cares about our security!

Check your answers at The Left Coaster. And remember, Bloomberg's bump in poll numbers occurred before most major news outlets reported the hoax confirmation. Now, who's going to commi$$ion a new poll?

Wag The Dog

16. Write a distasteful, inappropriate caption for this photo:

Compare your answer to Brain Fodder's. By the way, this is another great blog worthy of repeat visits!

Waiting For The Second What Of Jesus?

17. Was the name First United Methodist Church of Cumming, Georgia already taken?

A. Yes.
B. No, they're just pop culture ignorant.

18. Why are these young people laughing?

A. They know what's what.
B. The photographer told them to smile.

Check your answer at Adam's Crappy Attempt or at the church's website, cummingfirst.com.

Scoring

14-18: You know way too much for your own good! I suggest varying your daily routine and developing multiple routes to and from home. The government probably considers you "a person of interest." My advice: avoid small planes like the plague. Speaking of plague, a food taster wouldn't be a bad idea, either.

6-13: Don't you just hate it when friends, family, and co-workers tell you about a news story or BushCo fuck-up that's more than three hours old? My advice: just smile and open another cold one.

0-5: Welcome, Freeper lurkers! Believe it or not, there are over 17,000,000 bloggers out there, most of whom aren't spending each waking moment kissing George W.'s ass. My advice: read a few. You might be glad you did. After all - like Indiana Jones' father - aren't we all seeking illumination?

Know a hot blog that needs some coverage? Send your recommendations to Delilah.

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