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Blog Box
June 10, 2005
Compiled by Delilah Boyd, A
Scrivener's Lament
 Time To Kick The Messenger!
What do George W.'s poll numbers sound like to him when they drop?
Do they splat? Do they kerpop? Or do they just plain plop like big
ol' balls of elephant dung? Gee, wouldn't it be Beaver Cleaver
Swell if George W. were really in charge? Then those plopping
dung balls might mean something, and we could hold George W. accountable
for his Fuckupalooza Tour.
Unlike Nixon, who earned his low approval ratings through dastardly
deeds and dirty tricks, George W.'s plopping approval rating is
based on the actions of his party's flying monkeys and his own role
as the official BushCo "disassembler" (I had to work that
goodie in somehow), spokesperson, cheerleader, and - my personal
favorite - messenger.
Taegan
Goddard's Political Wire cited the WaPo-ABC poll
this week and noted that 68% of Independents disagree with the president's
priorities. Ouch! Meanwhile, David Remer at PoliWatch
asked, "Does Bush Need Glasses or a Brain Transplant?"
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President Bush this last week stated Social Security
Privatization must come to pass. He also said
he sees progress in the war on terrorism. And
for all his criticism of activist judges, he pledges
to Congress to consult with them on judicial nominees
but litmus tests will remain in his selections.
So, is he going blind or is it brain atrophy in
need of a transplant?
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Jill, of Brilliant
at Breakfast fame, mused:
Yikes! That's gotta smart, even if you're just the messenger. Alas,
George W. obviously has no idea how bad things are in this country
right now. Truth be known, he probably doesn't give a shit - er,
dung ball.
Newsweek's Revenge
It's also obvious that someone has dropped a dime or two on the
Pentagon. Otherwise, we wouldn't have learned about self-guided
urine, Qu'ran stomping, or water balloon correctional techniques.
In episode three of "Newsweek's Revenge," ProgressNow.org
had this to say:
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The Muslim world is right to be outraged by this,
just like the Christians would be if the roles
were reversed. But it should be pointed out that
twenty total cases of Quran desecration were documented
in this report, and fifteen were alleged to have
been committed by detainees themselves.
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Having a hard time believing the Pentagon's magic number 20? Me,
too. First, the Pentagon said it never happened. Then, they blamed
a few bad apples but denied flushing. Finally, they pulled the number
20 out of their asses, but they're only taking (sort of) responsibility
for five? Get real, Rummy! Blaming three-quarters of the desecrations
on urine-soaked detainees seems a bit whacked, don't you think?
On my blog, A
Scrivener's Lament, I addressed The
Physics Of Guilty Urine this week, and I even found an MIT study
(with pictures) on the subject.
Knick Knack Paddy Whack
Need to toss Tony Blair a bone without spending a dime? How about
voicing support for climate change awareness? Uh-oh. If you're George
W. Corporate Pollution Enabler, "just fix the facts" has been your
administration's prime directive to everyone around you, including
your very own Council on Environmental Quality guy. So, now what
do you do?
To appease Blair, George W. suddenly decided this week (during
that enlightening press conference) that he needed more info on
environmental issues: "We want to know more about it. It's
easier to solve a problem when you know a lot about it."
Shortly thereafter, LightUpTheDarkness
posted:
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He (George W.) better inform Philip Cooney of
the White House Council on Environmental Quality.
While Mr. Bush says he's interested in knowing
a lot about climate change, Mr. Cooney is altering
the research that millions of tax dollars have
been spent developing.
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The
Reality Base added a few choice words about those
pesky Downing
Street Minutes and The Bush & Blair Show's classic non-denial-denial
stand-up routine:
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At a White House press conference today, George
Bush and Tony Blair tried to cast doubt on the
Downing Street Memo by stating that it was written
before they went to the United Nations and pressed
for the creation of a multinational coalition
against Iraq, as if that meant something. In the
run-up to war George Bush stated repeatedly and
publicly that he was going to invade Iraq with
or without the United Nations' approval or help.
He declared so on January 28th, 2003 during his
State of the Union address. He made the same threat
again on March 6, 2003. Yet we are now to believe
that his plan to invade Iraq with or without the
U.N.'s approval wasn't made eight months in advance,
as the DSM states? That's pretty hard to swallow.
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Bless The Beasts And The Whistleblowers!
Lean
Left took a nice bite out of Peggy Noonan's lily
white and extremely tight Freeper ass after she vivisected 91-year-old
Mark Felt in print. Here's Lean Left's translation (from the Noonan-Reality
dictionary, I presume):
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By exposing a corrupt administration for what
it was, Mark Felt is directly responsible for
Vietnam, Pol Pot, genocide, and the Red Scare!
If that dirty, selfish, underhanded bastard Felt
had only kept his yap shut, Vietnam would have
been a resounding victory for the United States,
we never would have heard of Pol Pot, there never
would have been any genocide anywhere, and best
of all, the Soviets would have given up, gone
home, and China would be a beacon of Democracy
by now.
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Revise history much, Nooner? Pretty soon, you'll deny you ever
worked for Enron,
you brazen five-letter word beginning with B.
Speaking of brazen, but in a good way, Chicago H. S. student and
brazen blogger Gregory Pratt, at the Office
Of The Independent Blogger, wrote to Lucianne Goldberg
recently:
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People complain that Linda Tripp, a friend of
yours with whom you conspired to get a book deal
with on the sex scandal, is not considered the
hero she should be. Could you explain to me what
public service you guys did by exposing the President's
sex life with a willing girl (She was a college
grad, Greg. "Girl" was a notorious rightwing talking
point - Delilah) and by humiliating both of
them by telling their secrets? Correct me if I'm
wrong on any of these details, please
And could you tell me how exposing consensual
oral sex and mutual masturbation equals, in any
way shape or form, what Deep Throat did to Richard
Nixon? If you could get Linda Tripp's thoughts
on this, too, I'd be very thankful.
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What do you know? Lucianne actually replied to Greg's email. Check
out Office Of The Independent Blogger and send him some feedback.
Funny Freepers
OK. I lied about the funny part. Freepers always think they're
funny, but they're not. Rob, at Rob's
Blog , believes he's found the right's answer to
Jesus'
General. Rob also believes that the answer, Blame
Bush, is funny. I respectfully disagree. Here's a
Blame Bush snippet from a post on the George W. Supreme Court medical
marijuana ruling. Judge for yourself.
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As an American with a disability, I also took
the news pretty hard. When I became disoriented
by a strobe light and fell off my beanbag chair,
severely injuring my back, I searched high and
low for a doctor who would prescribe the incredibly
large amounts of medicinal marijuana needed to
ease my unbearable pain.
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Sorry, Blame Bush. Banana peels are funny. Dying in excruciating
pain isn't, as you might well find out someday. Then you'll change
your freepin' mind about medical marijuana faster than a Blue State
(New York) minute!
Jesus' General is the product of, well, pure genius. Blame Bush
is the product of... well, I don't know what that guy's deal is,
but it's only funny in a creepy DeNiro "King Of Comedy" kind of
way. Besides, Blame Bush would never fool anyone into believing
his posts were authored by a liberal.
Ahem.
From Jesus' General:
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Baptists love the General
I've been at the top of the Baptist
1000 since I signed up last week. I've even
received a few inquiries about advertising on
Jesus' General. I guess they know a godly site
when they see it.
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Freepers are only funny when they're trying to be serious. For
example, Freepers love polls when they're skewed in George W.'s
favor, but watch what happens when pollster Robert Moran (yep, that's
his name!) has to explain this week's dung ball plops. (Warning!
This is from PowerLine
Blog):
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Please keep in mind that most media produced
polls are not very good, are done by the lowest
bidder in the cheapest possible way, and are generally
biased in their wording and flow. The best polling
is the polling done for private clients that is
never released, because this polling is done to
find where voters really are and to make campaign
decisions, not advocate a position or add juice
to a story.
That it (sic) consistent with our experience;
we sometimes have access to polling done by campaigns,
and it always turns out to be more reliable than
newspaper polls.
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Now that's funny... in a sick and twisted "how pathetic can Freepers
possibly be?" sort of way.
More Funny Liberals
DC blogger Dante requests your pictorial submissions at his site,
Entrances
To Hell, and he shares his Fascist Fundie hate mail:
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This delightful note just wandered in, borne
on the warm breezy love of Jesus that blows down
in South Texas...
> From: John G. (last name deleted)
> Subject:
> Date: June 6, 2005 9:37:02 PM GMT-04:00
> To: [email protected]
> Reply-To: (e-mail deleted, 'cause I'm such a
fucking prince)
> > u are a stoner. i think u are a fag u should
goto hell....LITERALLY
> dont email me back or i will call the feds.
> > !HEED MY WARNING!
> > Signed,
> Devil hater of god
> > P.S. GOD RULZ
Somehow I don't think John G. meant to sign his
name as "Devil hater of god" - or give us his
real name and e-mail address when they were so
easy to Google.
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Thanks for sharing, Dante!
DU caption queen Stephanie posted
this Associated Press pic in the General Discussion forum this week
and added, "Some pills make you smaller."
Way to go, Stephanie!
It's Way Past Time To Kick The Messenger
Shakespeare taught us not to kick the messenger (Antony and
Cleopatra, Act II). After all, it wasn't the messenger's fault.
How fortunate for The Bard that he never had to experience George
W. Bush! And how deliciously unfortunate for George W. Bush that
his base spends a hell of a lot more time trying to ban Shakespeare's
works than actually reading them.
Think about it. It wasn't just Dems responding to those poll questions.
Even if it took the Backside Of The Bell Curve five years, at least
they're finally beginning to see the light.
I know it's not nice to kick someone when he's down, but damn!
Republicans kick, kick some more, and keep on kicking till the cows
come home. In my opinion, it's way past time to kick back!
Know a hot blog that needs some coverage? Send your recommendations
to Delilah.
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