DeLay Apologizes for Call to "Disembowel
and Guillotine" Federal Judges, Democrats
Claims Remarks Were Taken "Out Of Context", Blames "Liberal
April 27, 2005
Satire by David Albrecht
WASHINGTON (AP) - House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, already embattled
over charges involving fundraising and luxurious trips paid for
by influential lobbyists, faced new criticism on his return to the
capital after a controversial appearance at a Columbia, SC church.
DeLay's appearance at the Church of the Covenant was part of a
massive GOP effort to press for changes in how federal judges are
approved, though political opponents charge that the Texas congressman
is merely looking for ways to get the spotlight off himself.
Sunday's appearance, which included guest appearances by Focus
on the Family's Dr. James Dobson and Ralph Reed, who is running
for Lt. Governor in the neighboring state of Georgia, was one of
DeLay's bluntest attacks yet. Along with attacks on Hollywood celebrities
and "professional would-be educators", DeLay focused much of his
fire on both the Democratic minorities in the House and Senate and
on those he referred to as "activist jurist Judases."
"God commands me, indeed God commands all of us to disembowel
these traitors to His Holy Law. God commands us to take these communists
and pederasts, whether they're in the Senate, or in the House, or
on the federal bench, or in Hollywood, or in the NEA or wherever
they might be, and to haul them before a crowd of righteous Americans
to be guillotined. They deserve nothing less. If you spit in God's
face, don't be surprised at the price you will pay," stated DeLay,
who received a standing ovation for his remarks.
The evening had originally been closed to all but DeLay supporters,
church members and local Republican activists. However, two reporters
were able to get in by making contributions to the Congressman's
campaign, and secretly recorded the evening's remarks with hidden
cameras and microphones.
Meeting outside the church with pool reporters who had not been
present inside the church, Dr. Dobson said that "this was one of
the most moving evenings I've ever spent. I've never seen a clearer
message of Christian love and compassion than that delivered by
my friend Tom DeLay, one delivered with courage and conviction."
When confronted by the undercover reporters, who used their hidden
recordings to point out that DeLay had also called for burning abortion
doctors at the stake and stoning witches, Dobson responded "Well,
that's not the speech I heard," before asking if the reporters were
"of the body."
When confronted with tape and video of his remarks, which had
been captured in their entirety, Rep. DeLay paused, then dismissed
it as "just another example of the politics of personal destruction,
which we've come to know so well from our friends in the liberal
East Coast lie machine. You just love to take these things out of
context, don't you?"
He then spat at one of the reporters in question before walking
A statement issued later by his office said that he had not meant
his remarks, which included recommendations that those who oppose
President Bush's Social Security reform plan be flayed alive, to
be taken as anything more than a metaphor.
"However", the release concluded, "I apologize if anyone was offended
by my remarks."
Along with the main presentation, DeLay also hosted a smaller
private event after the main church rally to raise money for his
legal defense fund. Those attending, for a contribution of up to
$10,000 apiece, received dinner and cocktails with the Congressman,
an opportunity to have their photos taken with Mr. DeLay and Dr.
Dobson and a special "healing cloth" made of linen, dipped in fragrant
oils, touched by Rep. DeLay himself and believed to have the power
to cure arthritis, bursitis, fibromyalgia, psoriasis, eczema, dandruff,
tooth decay, hemorrhoids, prickly heat and the croup.