A Letter to Ed Gillespie

September 3, 2004
By Gilbert Johnston

Ed Gillespie
Republican National Committee Chairman
310 First Street, S.E.
Washington, D.C. 20003

Dear Ed:

Thanks for sending me a signed photograph of the President with your letter requesting a donation to the RNC to help re-elect Mr. Bush. Maybe my eyesight isn't as good as it used to be, but it sure looks like the President seems worried. Probably over his war in Iraq and how badly things are turning out.

I'm worried, too. Maybe he shouldn't have been listening to all those advisors. They didn't think things out too well. I sure hope those guys aren't running our government.

I've got a different bunch of worries, Ed. Like how my kids and their kids are all going to pay for this war. I worry, too, about the environment, about adding more pollution to our skies, our drinking water and our oceans. I think God intended us to be good stewards, taking care of this land of ours.

Maybe the President should be sticking closer to home and worrying with the rest of us about how were going to clean up the mess all those big companies are making, and how we are going to pay for it.

The President says he talks to God a lot. Bet he wished he'd been listening instead of talking. Maybe he wouldn't have been messing around the Middle East, starting wars and riling up a whole bunch of muslims.

Man, those people don't know when they're well off. The President offered to put them all on welfare paid for by us taxpayers, and what did they do? Those crumb bums are trying to kill us, Ed! That's what. All we wanted was a little of their stinking old oil. Ungrateful wretches.

I'm just a bit confused, Ed, about this liberals v.s. conservatives thing. Let me see if I can follow your letter.

You criticize Democrats Pelosi and Daschle for merely wanting to preserve our national parks, wilderness lands, forests and the environment. They want to spend a fraction of what the war is costing us on our kids, their education and health. That sounds like good conservative ideas, right?

The President wants to spend more money on the war - he's just asked Congress for billions more. He's big on deficit spending and wants to let the big corporations use up all our national resources without paying taxes or paying the tax payers anything for it. That doesn't sound like conservatism to me.

I guess you're just as confused as I am, Ed. Maybe you and I both should check the dictionary. Then we can straighten each other out.

I understand you're asking for more money for the President's campaign, Ed. I've got a suggestion: Why not put that money to something far more useful than a mudslinging campaign. Why don't you and the President put all that money into a trust fund for the soldiers who are being maimed and killed in this war, and their families as well.

That would really be something to see, an unselfish act of patriotism by the President and the RNC. I'd be happy to contribute to that fund.

Best wishes to you and the President, Ed.

Gilbert Johnston