2004 Republican National Convention Schedule
May 6, 2004
By Pat Henry

*** FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ***

2004 Republican National Convention schedule
Contact: Christine Diverson, 202-555-8614

DAY ONE

"The First Amendment and its Importance to a Free America"
Antonin Scalia; sponsored by the Media Research Center {no press allowed}

"Why the 'Old Rules' No Longer Apply in Post 9/11 America"
John Aschroft; to be followed by a ritual burning of an original copy of the Constitution

"Why Women and the Non-Religious are Substantially Inferior"
Pat Robertson; cosponsored by Concerned Women for America and the Taliban

Evening Entertainment:

"The Dangers of a One-Party State"
Fidel Castro and his Comedy Revue; sponsored by the Project for a New Republican Century (PNRC)

DAY TWO

"Violence: the solution to every problem"
Richard Perle; cosponsored by the Defense Policy Board and the NRA

"Why Our Capitalist System Works: the competitive bidding process"
Dick Cheney; cosponsored by Halliburton, The Carlyle Group and the Saudi Royal Family

"The First Amendment: why all Americans are free to agree with us"
John Ashcroft; cosponsored by every patriotic American

Evening Entertainment:

"This Is The Party of Lincoln"
Bob Dole and his Comedy Revue; sponsored by Pfizer

DAY THREE

"Why Sharing Our Toys Is Fundamentally Bad"
Stephen Moore; cosponsored by the Club For Growth and the National Council of Kindergarteners

"Ralph Nader: True American Hero"
Ed Gillespie; cosponsored by Raytheon and other corporations in Nader's portfolio

"Clean Lands, Clean Air: cutting down trees to reduce smoke pollution"
Gale Norton; sponsored by the American Forest and Paper Association

Keynote Address:

"The Fourth Reich: honoring the legacy of my grandfather"
President Karl C. Rove; sponsored by the Heritage Foundation