|
The
Half-Assed Fascists
May
21, 2004
By The Watcher
Well, looks like our first (and almost assuredly last) foray
into overt empire-building will end in burn-out and disgrace,
as was predicted by rational thinkers long before our ne'er-do-well
Boy King pumped his fist, proclaimed "feels good,"
then unleashed the dogs of war onto the shattered remnants
of the once "Fertile Crescent." How, kind readers, did
we get ourselves into such a mess?
Well, I've come to the conclusion that Bush just isn't much
of a fascist. No, really, don't laugh. Many of my leftist
friends think Bush is Hitler arisen, but really, let's get
serious. These incompetent idiots make Mussolini look like
Alexander the Great, though Iraq is looking more and more
like Ethiopia circa 1936 (look it up, Freepers!)
Yup, I think the real problem is these loons currently running
our country into the ground just aren't fascist enough. You
know, after 9/11 and the elections of 2002, their moment had
come. They controlled all the branches of Government. They
had high approval ratings. All they had to do was throw off
the threadbare cloak of democracy and rule like the tyrants
they truly aspired to be.
If you've ever read the Project for a New American Century's
(PNAC's) manifesto for a new glorious American Reich, you'd
have a feel for what I'm talking about. Man, that little document
literally dripped with the desire to enforce American "values"
under the iron boot of the most advanced military the world
has ever known. All opposition was to be crushed; no other
power was to be allowed to even think about challenging
the American right's vision of Capitalism Gone Wild.
So what happened?
Well it turns out our little Dubya isn't a big thinker with
the ambition to match; he's just a lazy and intellectually-stunted
cretin. His master, Mr. Cheney, has big ambition, but it's
all about the money for him. Yup, these guys are just small
time grifters, as emperors go, rather than Genghis Kahn-like
leaders thirsting for a Sherman's March to the Sea-like run
of rape and pillage throughout the Central Asian sub-continent.
And considering what frightened little bunnies the American
people were after 9/11, they could have gone whole hog into
the empire business. They could have forced Patriot II legislation
down Congress's throat after the 2002 elections. Suspended
Habeas Corpus. Brought back the draft. Closed down dissident
news sources and websites. Banned the Democratic Party as
enemies of the state once they protested all these actions.
Man, every wet dream Ollie North had planning martial law
back in the 1980's could have been written into legislation
to be rubber stamped by Congress in a fortnight. They then
could have set about threatening the entire Middle East with
nuclear obliteration if they didn't buy into the "democratization,"
neocon style, of their collective countries. It could've worked
too. For a very short while, at least.
But it turns out all Junior is just a small man, with little
dreams of making a few hundred million dollars for his family
and friends by turning Iraq into Halliburton - Middle Eastern
Branch. No big over-arching philosophy of world domination
being enforced by the tread of an Abram's tank. No real desire
to prosecute a policy of "lebensraum." No real wish
to do what is necessary of an authoritarian regime to crush
dissent on the home front.
In other words, just a bunch of wussies, looking to scam
a few bucks before they're run out of DC on a rail. Maybe
they just didn't have the stomach for it. Hey, maybe they
were afraid of all those guns in the hands of the NRA
members. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction!
So what can President Kerry do, once January 2005 rolls
along and he's left with this gigantic mess of spoiled world
domination dreams gone bad? My first suggestion to him would
be to issue mops and buckets to Dubya, Cheney and the whole
neocon Gang, then send them to start washing up all the blood
in Baghdad, for a start. Cleaning up failed empires is a messy
job.
|
