I can feel it rising up against my chest, trying desperately
to leak out of my eyes. This feeling of anger and betrayal
pushes my chest down faster than I want it to go, but my pride
will not let me cry yet. There is too much to be done. I push
the pain down and save it for another day when I can let my
emotions cloud my mind.
For now, the mission remains.
My personal mission has changed over the two years since
9/11. In August 2001, I was gung-ho for Jesus, and President
Bush was the God-appointed man-in-office. Now, I'm a soldier
who doesn't believe in much anymore. The Bible didn't stand
under the weight of my scrutiny. My Commander-in-Chief has
sent my friends off to fight a war so that his friends and
family can get rich.
My marriage is close to becoming a casualty in the war on
terror. My sanity almost was, and my brain gave out under
the stress. I have seizures that the Army caused, so my job
in the war has been to sit on the sidelines and cheer. The
problem is that the same scrutinizing intellect that found
the message of the Bible to be inconsistent has found the
message of my boss to be inconsistent.
We can all chant along to the mantra: no WMD's, no real
intelligence, nothing worth going to war over. We can make
the comparisons between this President and the last when it
comes to Vietnam service. We can preach from the hilltops
and sing in the valleys of his lies and infringements upon
But, all of our preaching and proselytizing will go unnoticed
by the general public until more people like me open their
eyes. That's really all it took. I hid behind my flag, and
my BDU's, so that I could rationalize the deaths of my friends
and brothers. Then, I just looked out there to find that all
the times I had stood behind the President, every time I thought
of myself as more patriotic than the Dixie Chicks, every time
I swallowed a little more from Bill O'Reilly, I was telling
the President that he had free reign to go ahead and send
more of my friends to die half a planet away from their home.
I know that I would die to defend my country. We have memorials
here at the post where I am stationed. These memorials have
the names of all the people who died for their country throughout
the years. A long time from now, I'll come here and look at
some new memorials, and I'll run my finger down the names
until I come to one I recognize. I'll remember him and begin
to cry. I hope that I can do that in nation where we are still
as free as we were before terrorists flew planes into our
There is only one way that I can see that happening, though.
It will not happen through politicians. Americans are not
trustful of many politicians these days. Between the scandals
of President Clinton, and the outright lies of President Bush,
sometimes it's hard to tell whom to trust in D.C. (Personally,
I'll probably vote for Dean.)
And, it is from Dean's campaign that I take the following
idea: we start a movement where we hold family and friends
meetings where we explain our positions and why we hold them.
I'm going make heavy use of printouts from websites such as
this. I'll give a list of places to go on the web or in their
library to research all these things for themselves.
Some will listen. Some will try to argue. Some will just
walk away. Don't argue with anyone who doesn't have the paper
to back it up. Make sure you have paper to back your statements
up. I know it's going to cost in paper and toner, but it will
be worth the cost to see the President replaced.
Maybe, if enough people start becoming active in bringing
down this President, we can cause a revolution in this country.
If we get enough liberals out to the voting booths, we can
alter the course of this nation's destiny. One candidate's
campaign is doing it. (I'm not saying you should endorse Dean,
specifically. Just show the people how bad President Bush
is for the nation. You know, "We Report. You Decide," ha ha.)
Imagine if every Democrat, or liberal who just wants to see
a regime change here in America, did what's working so well
in Ohio and New Hampshire.
We could come out in record numbers and blow away the conservatives
in 2004. Hell, we could even win back Congress with a little
extra effort to expose what your local congressperson has
done to "help" the nation. On November 19, another author
on this website wrote about apathy bringing the nation down.
This is just one solution to the apathy. Change it to fit
your needs and your circumstances. Hold open meetings at your
colleges, or coffee talks after work. Be creative. Be energetic.
Encourage others to vote. Give others the knowledge to make
an informed decision. The last thing that conservatives want
is an informed voter.
In efforts of honesty, I've never been a Democrat. I don't
think I ever will be. But, if the President and his administration
are what it means to be conservative, I'll never be a Republican,
If being conservative means that I have to advocate sending
my friends to die, I'll step away from that plate. If Republican
means I have to associate myself with Trent Lott and Pat Robertson,
then count me out.
If being liberal means that I don't have to discriminate
against homosexuals anymore, I'll be one. If being liberal
means that I can love Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, and
so on without telling them that I think they're going to Hell,
I'll take that, too. Sure, liberals are human and make mistakes,
but I hear "I'm sorry" a lot more from the left
than I do from the right.
I just want to show that even a die-hard Christian conservative
can be brought around. Not everyone can be "converted," so
don't try too hard. Just give their brains a nudge in right
- I mean, left - direction.
Think about what I've written as you go away to do other
things. Two hundred and twenty seven years ago, thirteen upstart
colonies defeated the most powerful military in the world
for the right to be free. Today, we can defeat this President
for the right to stay free. That is my mission.
The author wishes to remain anonymous due to the fact that
he is still on active duty in the Army.