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Articles
OCTOBER
2003
Frankenfood: It's Not Easy
to Live GMO-Free
October
31, 2003 · If there is no risk, why
are so many countries around the world banning Genetically
Modified Organisms from being allowed over their borders?
The bald fact is, we don't know if there is a risk or not.
This is an extremely new science, and many leaders around
the world are not willing to gamble the health of their populace
on slightly cheaper soybeans.
By Chaelan MacTavish
Bush's "Good News"
Conference
October
31, 2003 · Scarcely a month after whining
that the whole bloody mess in Iraq was the media's fault -
a month wherein the administration bypassed the White House
Press Corps and took its "good news" public relations campaign
to local media and to US-controlled media sites in the Gulf
- President Bush startled the media establishment with an
abruptly-announced "news conference."
By Sheila Samples
Logging Companies are
Responsible for the California Wildfires
October
30, 2003 · This year's particularly
bad fires in California have, not unexpectedly, led to big
PR pushes aimed at increasing commercial logging and trashing
environmentalists who are attempting to protect our last national
forests. The irony is that it's not the environmentalists
that are responsible for the increasing impact of wildfires,
but the timber companies themselves.
By Brian Leitner
Bush: Baghdad Nuclear
Explosion "Sign of Coalition Success"
October
30, 2003 · American resolve, Mr. Bush
stated, will not break: "We're in a long fight. There may
be setbacks. But if this attack tells us anything, it tells
us that the evil ones are responding to all the good work
we're doing in Iraq. An attack of this size can only be considered
a sign of the success of our coalition - a success those who
hate freedom consider a threat."
Satire by David Albrecht
They Hate Us Because
of Our Freedoms
October
29, 2003 · The Republican party has
decided that gay marriage is going to be a major issue in
the 2004 election cycle - apparently much more important than
finding out whether or not the Bush administration lied about
their reasons for going to war, or turning the economy around,
or finding a solution to the current stalemate in Iraq, or
making health care affordable to the increasingly huge number
of Americans who are going without it.
By The Plaid Adder
A Mini Tet
October
29, 2003 · That the situation in Iraq
has devolved into a living, breathing slice of Hell is beyond
question, however comparisons with the war in Vietnam remain
a bit of a stretch. There are some similarities but in general
they remain wholly unique in most regards. By Michael
Shannon
Why Republicans Lie
October
29, 2003 · Democrats are betting people
will vote in their best interests. Republicans know that once
they carpet bomb their opponent with a last minute multi-million
dollar marketing blitz, voters won't know which way is up
anymore and vote for the only person left standing. No matter
how disastrous Republican policies may be for all but the
richest few, they can afford the focus groups to craft their
message and the airtime to promote it. By Dylan
Otto Krider
Britney's Black Helicopter
October
28, 2003 · The NRA has recently performed
a valuable service for those who value their Second Amendment
rights. I mean without the NRA to tell you otherwise, you
might be under the impression that Olympic figure-skating
champion Tara Lipinski and Tampa Bay wide-receiver Keyshawn
Johnson were just harmless if talented professional athletes.
How wrong you are. By Mike
McArdle
The Perils of Outsourcing
October
28, 2003 · Are American workers at risk
of losing their jobs? Damn right they are. Particularly if
they pursued what they thought were safe jobs in today's commerce.
When American workers lost their blue-collar jobs they stepped
up to the plate and educated themselves in the technologies
that they were told would assure them security. Sadly, corporate
America lied. By Norma
Sherry
A second Bush term? Simply
unfathomable
October
25, 2003 · Above the empty vapor that
is President Bush swirls the incredulity of those rational
Americans who simply cannot fathom how anybody aside from
war profiteers, religious fanatics, corporate vultures and
environmental predators could possibly vote for the re-election
of such a dangerously unsuitable man. By D.G.
Bowman
My Candidate
October
25, 2003 · Whenever I say who my candidate
is, I’m either greeted with, “What? Have you lost it?” or
“He’s my choice, too!” He’s a man of high principles. That
alone sets him apart. He’s a man of the people, for the people.
That too, makes him a novelty. He’s a man that truly believes
that each one of us can make a difference. He’s idealistic,
yet pragmatic. He’s caring, but not blindsided. By Norma
Sherry
Honey, I Shrunk the
Presidency
October
24, 2003 · It is impossible to list
the many and varied ways Bush has shrunk the presidency since
the Supreme Court shook the pillars of democracy by appointing
him the world's top photo-op Robo-Cop. By
Sheila Samples
The People's State
of the Union Address
October
24, 2003 · It is with great sadness
that the people must report that our government has failed
us, utterly, in this past year and in many others in the last
few decades. This past year has been one of, particularly,
tumult and divisiveness and great physical and Constitutional
danger. By
punpirate
Fear Itself
October
23, 2003 · The United States is losing
the war against terrorism. We are losing because we are trading
our most basic democratic ideals of freedom and tolerance
for a very short-term and illusory feeling of safety. By
Richard Girard
Fatal Vision
October
23, 2003 · Hard as it is for all of
us to confront, the loss of life in Iraq must be looked at
in current and historical ways. Our military losses in the
past seven months have surpassed the death toll of two years
in Vietnam. By
Bridget Gibson
You Got To Do What You Got
To Do
October
22, 2003 · I have learned a lot from
conservative experts. We are all human and we all are sinners.
We all fall short on occasion. But if you hold the office
of the President of the United States, one thing you can never,
ever do is lie. Rush Limbaugh, Bill Bennett, Newt Gingrich
- all may have "lived" a lie, but that's not the same as "telling"
a lie. It's high time that we fuzzy headed liberals learned
the difference. By Bill
King
Inside Bush's Diary: "Things
Are Spinning Out of Control!"
October
22, 2003 · It's been one goddamn thing
after another. Karl and Dick seem to have everything under
control and then, blammo, everything goes haywire. The voters
are starting to catch on; my re-elect numbers are falling
like crazy, and the old tactics aren't working any more. By Bernard
Weiner
It's Not Intelligence,
Stupid
October
21, 2003 · As the only one of six children
to get a university degree, I have always struggled with and
been uncomfortable with this idea that I am somehow particularly
intelligent. It goes against everything I believe in as an
anti-elitist, democratic, anybody-can-become-president, American-Dream
kind of liberal. By David
Stellfox
As It Is With Baseball,
So It Is With Life
October
21, 2003 · Had the Cubs been engaged
with the Padres on a Wednesday afternoon in May, Cubs supporters
would little note the obnoxious fan who knocked the ball from
Moises Alou's grasp. But the Cubs were in the NLCS. The stakes
had never been higher. And so it is for the Democrats. By Tony
Logan
In Firehouse Visit, Bush
Announces End to Fire Threat, Slides Down Pole Wearing Helmet
October
18, 2003 · President George W. Bush,
in an aggressive effort to reverse a recent slide in his approval
ratings, today visited a New York fire station and announced
that "the American people have defeated the threat and fear
of fire," before donning a fireman's bunker coat and helmet
and sliding down a brass pole. Satire
by David Albrecht
On Patriotism
October
18, 2003 · So forty-one years ago this
month, when I was five years old, the same age as my youngest
son is now, I went out around our neighborhood for Halloween
dressed up like John F. Kennedy. I'm not kidding. By
Peter Buckley (PBinOregon)
An Edifice of Lies
October
18, 2003 · If a lie is believed then
there is no need to prop it, you just let it lie and move
on, but when the lie begins to show its innate vulnerability
it must be maintained with all means available. This requires
both that you repeat the initial lie as often as possible
as well as create any number of ancillary falsehoods in support.
By Mike
Shannon
Get Well, Mr. Limbaugh
October
17, 2003 · Yes, there are some who will
think that seeing your current problems is as much fun as
watching Bill Bennett grovel for his last earthly five dollars
so he could throw it into a slot machine and then watch a
row of lemons come up. In other words some will think that
this is more fun than a human being should be allowed to have.
But I'm not going to be that way. By
Mike McArdle
Godot Has Left the Building
October
16, 2003 · So all right. Now that Kay's
report is out and all they can come up with was "he wished
he could have been more of a threat to the U.S. than he actually
was," can we all finally agree that we are never going
to find Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq? The
Plaid Adder
Is This the Kind of Country
That You Want? A Letter to a Republican Friend
October
15, 2003 · Face it, my friend, your
party has deserted you and your fellow moderates. All worthy
content has been drained from this party, and all that remains
is the empty shell with the name "Republican," and the false
attribution of the word "Conservative. By
Ernest Partridge
It's "Marriage Protection
Week"
October
15, 2003 · This week, October 12th-18th,
has been declared "Marriage Protection Week." According to
the Family Research Council the project is the result of an
attack on marriage by people who want to redefine what marriage
is. By
John Buck
A Fine Line To Walk
October
11, 2003 · We are simultaneously guaranteed
success and failure in the 2004 election cycle. These two
opinions are opposite sides of the same coin. On one face,
a towering bastion of unbridled optimism, and on the reverse,
a stalwart fortress of unchecked despair. By
Mark W. Brown
Deleting The Flag
October
11, 2003 · A police officer pulled his
car along side of me and asked me if I was taking pictures.
I said I was but that I was certain that I was on the sidewalk
and not on private property. I said I don’t think it’s against
the law to take pictures. He said it’s against the law to
take pictures of Sun Oil. By
Mickey Freed
Rush on Roundball: An imaginary
interview with an imaginary sports expert
October
11, 2003 · In the August 2003 edition
of "For Laker Lovers Only," the unofficial magazine of the
Los Angeles Lakers, Rush Limbaugh shares his wisdom on the
game of Basketball. Satire
by Dennis Hans
The Great Spark Hunt
October
10, 2003 · Through the entire cold war
and the first 20 years or so of the U.S. War on Islam, the
Bushes had a trump card. They had a company of master communicators
at their beck and call, a company they liked to call the Agency.
Only now, at the end, does the Bush clan get to find out the
answer to the question they have always dreaded - who is stronger,
the family or the machine they built so painstakingly over
so many generations? By Raul
Groom
Get in the Game
October
10, 2003 · The gurus of today's politics
depend upon an ill informed or misinformed electorate. The
alarming percentage of Americans who bought the fabricated
reasons to invade Iraq, the reasons belatedly disavowed by
most of the Bush administration, is a sad indicator of how
poorly informed most who will cast votes really are. By Doug
Snider
Liberal Like a FOX
October
9, 2003 · For once, I have to agree
with the talking heads on the right. CNN is the most liberal
name in news. But when this is so clearly the case, why is
CNN's coverage to the right of the majority of Americans?
Time and again polls show the public's priorities more in
line with the Democratic Party than the GOP, yet you wouldn't
know it to watch TV. By Dylan
Otto Krider
Stay in Bed
October
9, 2003 · California awoke one morning
to find itself governed by a giant cockroach. It's official:
we are now living inside a Kafka novel - though even Kafka
couldn't have predicted the turn of events that would bring
us to this point. By Daniel
Patrick Welch
Media (Un)Realities
October
8, 2003 · The end game of all the current
media jingoism and vitriol is not the edification of thought
but to fog up the air with fear and hysteria, to rally an
ever-more pitched political intolerance in the population
and declare it patriotic courage. The end game is to stifle
dissent. By Mark
Harris
GOPZILLA
October
8, 2003 · Fully aware of the secret
right-wing sympathies of Democratic Underground and sharing
your ongoing resolve to assist the GOP (Grand Old Party) and
their corporate supporters, not to mention the religious right,
win the 2004 and, hopefully, all future elections, I am writing
to enlist your support in helping George W. Bush and his associates
do just that by launching a totally new project - a new mass
media hero called GOPZILLA. By Noel
Moore
No on Recall Means No to
Schwarzenegger
October
7, 2003 · Since the evening two months
ago that I sat stunned on my couch watching Leno yuk it up
with Schwarzenegger and his inane comments about bikini waxes
and pumping up Sacramento, I have searched for the truth about
this guy's past. What I have found has not been pretty. By Jackson
Thoreau
Why Does Arnold Want This
Job?
October
7, 2003 · There's no question why GOPers
are backing out of the California recall and supporting Schwarzenegger:
The California Republican Party is weak, and as we have all
learned, winning is everything to the Republicans. Schwarzenegger
can win, not on qualifications (although the pundits assure
us that he has plenty), but on name recognition. The bigger,
and more important question is: Why does Schwarzenegger want
this job? By John
H.
Can Conservatives
Help Us Beat Bush?
October
4, 2003 · This may seem like a ridiculous
notion, a grossly redundant abuse of my right to free speech.
But before you begin browbeating me about the head and shoulders,
hear me out. George W. Bush is beyond conservatism. By Rush
Roberts
An "Interview"
with Arnold Schwarzenegger
October
4, 2003 · In his book Rush Limbaugh
is a Big Fat Idiot, Al Franken exposed how Rush would occasionally
fabricate interviews with prominent progressives, using actual
quotes out of context. Here our contributing writer Woody
takes a page from the Limbaugh playbook for this exciting
"interview" with gubernatorial candidate Arnold
Schwarzenegger. Satire
by Woody
"Shallow Throat" Tells
How Bush Can Be Defeated in 2004
October
4, 2003 · The message I got from Shallow
Throat was: "Let's talk outside the Beltway. Lubbock airport
3 p.m. Tuesday, on your way back from Houston." The high-ranking
GOP mole, who had provided exceptional information and advice
from inside the White House and now in another government
agency, didn't want to risk being spotted in conversation
anywhere near Washington, D.C. Satire
by Bernard Weiner
First Amendment Perversion
October
3, 2003 · The Wilson/Plame betrayal
story gets more complicated by the hour as the White House
and syndicated columnist Robert Novak work swiftly to cover
their respective tracks with the dust kicked up from their
frantic spinning. By Burt
Worm
Stopping the Rush
October
3, 2003 · Limbaugh has made a phenomenal
living preaching to a choir of people who see a black bank
manager or a black company vice president and assume immediately
that that person has been promoted ahead of a more qualified
white person because the company is afraid they will have
Jesse Jackson on their doorstep if they don't do so. By Mike
McArdle
The Maddening Double Standard
October
2, 2003 · Democrats have a character
problem: an insistence on objectivity, truth and moral consistency.
The problem is that when facing an enemy that respects no
trait other than winning, it puts all those who exhibit these
character traits at a distinct disadvantage. By Dylan
Otto Krider
Lies versus Spies
October
2, 2003 · Robert Novak has thrown caution
to the wind, defied the laws of our country and tossed concern
for the lives of countless people out the window. The two
"senior administration officials" made a choice
to disregard their country and its laws for political gain.
By Bridget
Gibson
Sex, Lies and Videotape in
DC and California
October
1, 2003 · In the late 90s, the
big debate was, "Was Clinton's impeachment about sex?" Republicans
said it wasn't, but most Democrats and independents were sure
it was. The media coverage and Republican response to Arnold's
candidacy have proven one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt:
it never was about sex. It never was about lies. It was never
even about Bill Clinton. It was simply about the fact that
there was a big "D" next to Bill Clinton's name. By Ron
C. Coma
The CEO President's Performance
Review
October
1, 2003 · During the 2000 election
campaign, it was said that George W. Bush would be the first
CEO president of the United States. He managed to get the
job - now, after two and a half years, what does his first
performance review look like? By Sarvis
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