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OCTOBER 2003

Frankenfood: It's Not Easy to Live GMO-Free
October 31, 2003 · If there is no risk, why are so many countries around the world banning Genetically Modified Organisms from being allowed over their borders? The bald fact is, we don't know if there is a risk or not. This is an extremely new science, and many leaders around the world are not willing to gamble the health of their populace on slightly cheaper soybeans. By Chaelan MacTavish

Bush's "Good News" Conference
October 31, 2003 · Scarcely a month after whining that the whole bloody mess in Iraq was the media's fault - a month wherein the administration bypassed the White House Press Corps and took its "good news" public relations campaign to local media and to US-controlled media sites in the Gulf - President Bush startled the media establishment with an abruptly-announced "news conference." By Sheila Samples

Logging Companies are Responsible for the California Wildfires
October 30, 2003 · This year's particularly bad fires in California have, not unexpectedly, led to big PR pushes aimed at increasing commercial logging and trashing environmentalists who are attempting to protect our last national forests. The irony is that it's not the environmentalists that are responsible for the increasing impact of wildfires, but the timber companies themselves. By Brian Leitner

Bush: Baghdad Nuclear Explosion "Sign of Coalition Success"
October 30, 2003 · American resolve, Mr. Bush stated, will not break: "We're in a long fight. There may be setbacks. But if this attack tells us anything, it tells us that the evil ones are responding to all the good work we're doing in Iraq. An attack of this size can only be considered a sign of the success of our coalition - a success those who hate freedom consider a threat." Satire by David Albrecht

They Hate Us Because of Our Freedoms
October 29, 2003 · The Republican party has decided that gay marriage is going to be a major issue in the 2004 election cycle - apparently much more important than finding out whether or not the Bush administration lied about their reasons for going to war, or turning the economy around, or finding a solution to the current stalemate in Iraq, or making health care affordable to the increasingly huge number of Americans who are going without it. By The Plaid Adder

A Mini Tet
October 29, 2003 · That the situation in Iraq has devolved into a living, breathing slice of Hell is beyond question, however comparisons with the war in Vietnam remain a bit of a stretch. There are some similarities but in general they remain wholly unique in most regards. By Michael Shannon

Why Republicans Lie
October 29, 2003 · Democrats are betting people will vote in their best interests. Republicans know that once they carpet bomb their opponent with a last minute multi-million dollar marketing blitz, voters won't know which way is up anymore and vote for the only person left standing. No matter how disastrous Republican policies may be for all but the richest few, they can afford the focus groups to craft their message and the airtime to promote it. By Dylan Otto Krider

Britney's Black Helicopter
October 28, 2003 · The NRA has recently performed a valuable service for those who value their Second Amendment rights. I mean without the NRA to tell you otherwise, you might be under the impression that Olympic figure-skating champion Tara Lipinski and Tampa Bay wide-receiver Keyshawn Johnson were just harmless if talented professional athletes. How wrong you are. By Mike McArdle

The Perils of Outsourcing
October 28, 2003 · Are American workers at risk of losing their jobs? Damn right they are. Particularly if they pursued what they thought were safe jobs in today's commerce. When American workers lost their blue-collar jobs they stepped up to the plate and educated themselves in the technologies that they were told would assure them security. Sadly, corporate America lied. By Norma Sherry

A second Bush term? Simply unfathomable
October 25, 2003 · Above the empty vapor that is President Bush swirls the incredulity of those rational Americans who simply cannot fathom how anybody aside from war profiteers, religious fanatics, corporate vultures and environmental predators could possibly vote for the re-election of such a dangerously unsuitable man. By D.G. Bowman

My Candidate
October 25, 2003 · Whenever I say who my candidate is, Im either greeted with, What? Have you lost it? or Hes my choice, too! Hes a man of high principles. That alone sets him apart. Hes a man of the people, for the people. That too, makes him a novelty. Hes a man that truly believes that each one of us can make a difference. Hes idealistic, yet pragmatic. Hes caring, but not blindsided. By Norma Sherry

Honey, I Shrunk the Presidency
October 24, 2003 · It is impossible to list the many and varied ways Bush has shrunk the presidency since the Supreme Court shook the pillars of democracy by appointing him the world's top photo-op Robo-Cop. By Sheila Samples

The People's State of the Union Address
October 24, 2003 · It is with great sadness that the people must report that our government has failed us, utterly, in this past year and in many others in the last few decades. This past year has been one of, particularly, tumult and divisiveness and great physical and Constitutional danger. By punpirate

Fear Itself
October 23, 2003 · The United States is losing the war against terrorism. We are losing because we are trading our most basic democratic ideals of freedom and tolerance for a very short-term and illusory feeling of safety. By Richard Girard

Fatal Vision
October 23, 2003 · Hard as it is for all of us to confront, the loss of life in Iraq must be looked at in current and historical ways. Our military losses in the past seven months have surpassed the death toll of two years in Vietnam. By Bridget Gibson

You Got To Do What You Got To Do
October 22, 2003 · I have learned a lot from conservative experts. We are all human and we all are sinners. We all fall short on occasion. But if you hold the office of the President of the United States, one thing you can never, ever do is lie. Rush Limbaugh, Bill Bennett, Newt Gingrich - all may have "lived" a lie, but that's not the same as "telling" a lie. It's high time that we fuzzy headed liberals learned the difference. By Bill King

Inside Bush's Diary: "Things Are Spinning Out of Control!"
October 22, 2003 · It's been one goddamn thing after another. Karl and Dick seem to have everything under control and then, blammo, everything goes haywire. The voters are starting to catch on; my re-elect numbers are falling like crazy, and the old tactics aren't working any more. By Bernard Weiner

It's Not Intelligence, Stupid
October 21, 2003 · As the only one of six children to get a university degree, I have always struggled with and been uncomfortable with this idea that I am somehow particularly intelligent. It goes against everything I believe in as an anti-elitist, democratic, anybody-can-become-president, American-Dream kind of liberal. By David Stellfox

As It Is With Baseball, So It Is With Life
October 21, 2003 · Had the Cubs been engaged with the Padres on a Wednesday afternoon in May, Cubs supporters would little note the obnoxious fan who knocked the ball from Moises Alou's grasp. But the Cubs were in the NLCS. The stakes had never been higher. And so it is for the Democrats. By Tony Logan

In Firehouse Visit, Bush Announces End to Fire Threat, Slides Down Pole Wearing Helmet
October 18, 2003 · President George W. Bush, in an aggressive effort to reverse a recent slide in his approval ratings, today visited a New York fire station and announced that "the American people have defeated the threat and fear of fire," before donning a fireman's bunker coat and helmet and sliding down a brass pole. Satire by David Albrecht

On Patriotism
October 18, 2003 · So forty-one years ago this month, when I was five years old, the same age as my youngest son is now, I went out around our neighborhood for Halloween dressed up like John F. Kennedy. I'm not kidding. By Peter Buckley (PBinOregon)

An Edifice of Lies
October 18, 2003 · If a lie is believed then there is no need to prop it, you just let it lie and move on, but when the lie begins to show its innate vulnerability it must be maintained with all means available. This requires both that you repeat the initial lie as often as possible as well as create any number of ancillary falsehoods in support. By Mike Shannon

Get Well, Mr. Limbaugh
October 17, 2003 · Yes, there are some who will think that seeing your current problems is as much fun as watching Bill Bennett grovel for his last earthly five dollars so he could throw it into a slot machine and then watch a row of lemons come up. In other words some will think that this is more fun than a human being should be allowed to have. But I'm not going to be that way. By Mike McArdle

Godot Has Left the Building
October 16, 2003 · So all right. Now that Kay's report is out and all they can come up with was "he wished he could have been more of a threat to the U.S. than he actually was," can we all finally agree that we are never going to find Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq? The Plaid Adder

Is This the Kind of Country That You Want? A Letter to a Republican Friend
October 15, 2003 · Face it, my friend, your party has deserted you and your fellow moderates. All worthy content has been drained from this party, and all that remains is the empty shell with the name "Republican," and the false attribution of the word "Conservative. By Ernest Partridge

It's "Marriage Protection Week"
October 15, 2003 · This week, October 12th-18th, has been declared "Marriage Protection Week." According to the Family Research Council the project is the result of an attack on marriage by people who want to redefine what marriage is. By John Buck

A Fine Line To Walk
October 11, 2003 · We are simultaneously guaranteed success and failure in the 2004 election cycle. These two opinions are opposite sides of the same coin. On one face, a towering bastion of unbridled optimism, and on the reverse, a stalwart fortress of unchecked despair. By Mark W. Brown

Deleting The Flag
October 11, 2003 · A police officer pulled his car along side of me and asked me if I was taking pictures. I said I was but that I was certain that I was on the sidewalk and not on private property. I said I dont think its against the law to take pictures. He said its against the law to take pictures of Sun Oil. By Mickey Freed

Rush on Roundball: An imaginary interview with an imaginary sports expert
October 11, 2003 · In the August 2003 edition of "For Laker Lovers Only," the unofficial magazine of the Los Angeles Lakers, Rush Limbaugh shares his wisdom on the game of Basketball. Satire by Dennis Hans

The Great Spark Hunt
October 10, 2003 · Through the entire cold war and the first 20 years or so of the U.S. War on Islam, the Bushes had a trump card. They had a company of master communicators at their beck and call, a company they liked to call the Agency. Only now, at the end, does the Bush clan get to find out the answer to the question they have always dreaded - who is stronger, the family or the machine they built so painstakingly over so many generations? By Raul Groom

Get in the Game
October 10, 2003 · The gurus of today's politics depend upon an ill informed or misinformed electorate. The alarming percentage of Americans who bought the fabricated reasons to invade Iraq, the reasons belatedly disavowed by most of the Bush administration, is a sad indicator of how poorly informed most who will cast votes really are. By Doug Snider

Liberal Like a FOX
October 9, 2003 · For once, I have to agree with the talking heads on the right. CNN is the most liberal name in news. But when this is so clearly the case, why is CNN's coverage to the right of the majority of Americans? Time and again polls show the public's priorities more in line with the Democratic Party than the GOP, yet you wouldn't know it to watch TV. By Dylan Otto Krider

Stay in Bed
October 9, 2003 · California awoke one morning to find itself governed by a giant cockroach. It's official: we are now living inside a Kafka novel - though even Kafka couldn't have predicted the turn of events that would bring us to this point. By Daniel Patrick Welch

Media (Un)Realities
October 8, 2003 · The end game of all the current media jingoism and vitriol is not the edification of thought but to fog up the air with fear and hysteria, to rally an ever-more pitched political intolerance in the population and declare it patriotic courage. The end game is to stifle dissent. By Mark Harris

GOPZILLA
October 8, 2003 · Fully aware of the secret right-wing sympathies of Democratic Underground and sharing your ongoing resolve to assist the GOP (Grand Old Party) and their corporate supporters, not to mention the religious right, win the 2004 and, hopefully, all future elections, I am writing to enlist your support in helping George W. Bush and his associates do just that by launching a totally new project - a new mass media hero called GOPZILLA. By Noel Moore

No on Recall Means No to Schwarzenegger
October 7, 2003 · Since the evening two months ago that I sat stunned on my couch watching Leno yuk it up with Schwarzenegger and his inane comments about bikini waxes and pumping up Sacramento, I have searched for the truth about this guy's past. What I have found has not been pretty. By Jackson Thoreau

Why Does Arnold Want This Job?
October 7, 2003 · There's no question why GOPers are backing out of the California recall and supporting Schwarzenegger: The California Republican Party is weak, and as we have all learned, winning is everything to the Republicans. Schwarzenegger can win, not on qualifications (although the pundits assure us that he has plenty), but on name recognition. The bigger, and more important question is: Why does Schwarzenegger want this job? By John H.

Can Conservatives Help Us Beat Bush?
October 4, 2003 · This may seem like a ridiculous notion, a grossly redundant abuse of my right to free speech. But before you begin browbeating me about the head and shoulders, hear me out. George W. Bush is beyond conservatism. By Rush Roberts

An "Interview" with Arnold Schwarzenegger
October 4, 2003 · In his book Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot, Al Franken exposed how Rush would occasionally fabricate interviews with prominent progressives, using actual quotes out of context. Here our contributing writer Woody takes a page from the Limbaugh playbook for this exciting "interview" with gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger. Satire by Woody

"Shallow Throat" Tells How Bush Can Be Defeated in 2004
October 4, 2003 · The message I got from Shallow Throat was: "Let's talk outside the Beltway. Lubbock airport 3 p.m. Tuesday, on your way back from Houston." The high-ranking GOP mole, who had provided exceptional information and advice from inside the White House and now in another government agency, didn't want to risk being spotted in conversation anywhere near Washington, D.C. Satire by Bernard Weiner

First Amendment Perversion
October 3, 2003 · The Wilson/Plame betrayal story gets more complicated by the hour as the White House and syndicated columnist Robert Novak work swiftly to cover their respective tracks with the dust kicked up from their frantic spinning. By Burt Worm

Stopping the Rush
October 3, 2003 · Limbaugh has made a phenomenal living preaching to a choir of people who see a black bank manager or a black company vice president and assume immediately that that person has been promoted ahead of a more qualified white person because the company is afraid they will have Jesse Jackson on their doorstep if they don't do so. By Mike McArdle

The Maddening Double Standard
October 2, 2003 · Democrats have a character problem: an insistence on objectivity, truth and moral consistency. The problem is that when facing an enemy that respects no trait other than winning, it puts all those who exhibit these character traits at a distinct disadvantage. By Dylan Otto Krider

Lies versus Spies
October 2, 2003 · Robert Novak has thrown caution to the wind, defied the laws of our country and tossed concern for the lives of countless people out the window. The two "senior administration officials" made a choice to disregard their country and its laws for political gain. By Bridget Gibson

Sex, Lies and Videotape in DC and California
October 1, 2003 · In the late 90s, the big debate was, "Was Clinton's impeachment about sex?" Republicans said it wasn't, but most Democrats and independents were sure it was. The media coverage and Republican response to Arnold's candidacy have proven one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: it never was about sex. It never was about lies. It was never even about Bill Clinton. It was simply about the fact that there was a big "D" next to Bill Clinton's name. By Ron C. Coma

The CEO President's Performance Review
October 1, 2003 · During the 2000 election campaign, it was said that George W. Bush would be the first CEO president of the United States. He managed to get the job - now, after two and a half years, what does his first performance review look like? By Sarvis

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