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Iraqi
and Bullwinkle
March 19, 2003
By Kevin Dawson
Well, here we go: Operation Desert Sequel. Keep your arms
inside the car at all times. Do not attempt to exit until
the car has come to a full and complete stop. And remember:
this is the kind of theme park ride you can't sue over if
you happen to get hurt.
Surprisingly, Our Great Leader only asked for Saddam Hussein's
exile in order to avoid war. Perhaps it's a measure of his
"compassionate conservatism" that he didn't demand that Saddam
commit hari-kiri (perhaps that would have been the next step
if Saddam had agreed to exile; if he'd actually agreed to
suicide, Bush might have decided, "No, first you have to put
on this Marilyn Monroe costume and wig and sing 'Happy Birthday,
Mister President'").
The newspapers report that the polls indicate an increase
in war support. Maybe people are just plain tired of the same
old arguments and want the damn thing over with. Are you as
weary as I am of the Hitler analogies, offered by people who
weren't even alive when Hitler was around?
"We could have stopped Hitler much sooner!" (How? It was
the conservatives who fought FDR over America's entry into
that war, many giving the same reason that got Jim Moran into
so much trouble recently.)
Or: "Where were the war protesters when Clinton dropped bombs
on Iraq in 1998?" Actually, that's a fair question. Here's
another one: when that was going on, where was "Saddam Hussein
is an evil dictator and must be taken out at all costs"? Where
was "We're at war and must stand behind the president" when
the World Trade Center was hit the first time?
And why the sudden interest and concern for the Iraqi people?
We certainly didn't see any evidence of it during eight years
of Clinton-bashing. If the Republicans had been as intent
on bringing down Saddam Hussein as they were Bill Clinton,
we wouldn't be in the situation we're in today.
They've countered the "rush to war" charge with "Saddam has
had 12 years to comply with UN resolutions." Funny, but they
had the same 12 years to notice that he wasn't doing any such
thing. Instead of calling for a weapons inspection back then,
they were too busy investigating Bill Clinton's sex life.
Oh, and bragging over the "victory" of the first Gulf War.
(That Stormin' Norman sure put Saddam in his place, didn't
he?)
And now that France has joined Iraq, North Korea, and California
as part of the Axis of Evil, one has to wonder when Reps.
Jones and Ney (the ones who got Freedom Fries put on Washington
DC menus) will start calling for the burning of French-language
Bibles.
One thing Bush said in his March 17 address (isn't it cute
how Tony Blair, considering Britain's relationship with Ireland,
chose St. Patrick's Day as the deadline for Saddam to disarm?)
resonates: The tyrant will soon be gone.
Which is a reminder that the next presidential election is
only a year and a half away. Let's see him pooh-pooh "focus
groups" and "polls" then.
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