W. Bush, International Mistress of Mystery
March 12, 2003
By Dennis Hans
In the greatest achievement of his still-young presidency,
George W. Bush has become the "international mistress of mystery"
for a string of Arab dictators.
A steady stream of news reports have noted that, aside from
Kuwait, the Arab governments in the Gulf region that are providing
various forms of hospitality and assistance to the U.S. commander-in-chief
are doing their best to keep their citizens in the dark about
the illicit relationship.
From Jordan to Saudi Arabia, from the United Arab Emirates
to Bahrain, proud potentates appear ashamed of the ties with
Bush that bind. Each exhibits the scheming, secretive behavior
of a cheating husband determined to keep his unsuspecting
wife barefoot and clueless.
Let us think of each of these governments' rulers as a husband
and their respective citizenries as their wives. The husband/ruler
loves to be seen in the company of his wife/citizenry. Whether
his declared love for wife/citizenry is real, fake or somewhere
in-between, he nevertheless wants to advertise to the world
the warm, tight bonds that allegedly unite the monarch and
Think of George W. Bush as the husband/ruler's mistress.
Although their relationship is real, it is conducted and consumated
in the shadows. Sadly, the philandering husband/ruler refuses
to be seen on native soil with mistress Bush. When hubby goes
to a soccer match to cheer or to Mecca to pray, it is to bask
in the company of the wife/citizenry, not his Crawford cutie.
King and cutie co-mingle covertly not merely to spare the
feelings of wife/citizenry, but to protect their own hides
from the righteous eruption that surely would follow if the
sordid details of the long-term affair were revealed.
The long-suppressed wife/citizenry just might takes matters
into her own hands and decide she can get along quite nicely
without her good-for-nothing husband/ruler and his
hot Texas tamale.
What sets Bush apart from other international mistresses
of mystery is that he is the payer, not the payee, for services
he himself renders. "Let me care for you and protect you from
that Baghdad bully," he coos to each and every royal Romeo.
"Name your price, your Highness, and I'll gladly meet it."
Congratulations, Mr. President. You are the first "geopolitical
kept woman" in history to pay for the privilege of being your
sugar daddies' sugar.
Dennis Hans is a freelance writer whose work has appeared
in the New York Times, Washington Post, National Post (Canada)
and online at TomPaine.com, Slate and The Black World Today
(tbwt.com), among other outlets. He has taught courses in
mass communications and American foreign policy at the University
of South Florida-St. Petersburg, and can be reached at HANS_D@popmail.firn.edu