Majority Leader Stops to Help Family by the Road; Kills Their
January 8, 2003
By Gil Christner
Alligator Alley, Florida Tennessee Sen. Dr. Bill Frist,
who came to the rescue of the GOP when Trent Lott was in trouble,
interrupted his holiday break to aid a family by the side
of the road, resulting in the death of their cat.
Frist, a heart and lung surgeon, who will be the new Senate
Majority leader when Congress reconvenes this month, was along
driving along a south Florida highway where he spotted what
he thought was a family was in distress.
The Tampa family, Mr. and Mrs. Bob Henderson, with children
Tim, Sally and Puddin'pop, actually were just stretching their
legs at a rest stop on the way to the Everglades.
When Frist found there was no compelling reason to use his
medical expertise, he performed a heart and lung transplant
on the Henderson's pet cat, Puffball.
"What the hay," Sen. Frist said later. "No reason not to
put my medical skills to work, even if there weren't any sick
people. I am a doctor, after all, I know what I'm doing."
Unfortunately, there was no donor heart and lung, so Puffball
died on the table, in this case, a picnic table, being used
at the time by another family, the Goldbergs of Boca Raton,
"That man has skill, but he put me off of corned beef for
some time," said Mr. Goldberg.
The Henderson parents had nothing but praise for the Republican
"We're lucky he came by when he did," said Mr. Henderson.
"We had no idea when Puffball was going to get that heart-lung
transplant. Although we didn't even know that she needed one.
And it sure wasn't his fault that there wasn't another kitty
"I feel very badly," said Frist. "If I had known I was going
to need a feline heart-lung set, I would have stopped at the
Miami Animal Shelter and asked to adopt a cat before I set
out on my trip."
"I feel confident now that the Senate is in his hands," praised
Mrs. Henderson. "Those 'demo-cats' had better watch out!"
Puddin'pop, the youngest Henderson, could not hold back her
"The man killed my kitty," she cried, obviously put up to
it by a liberal.
Gil Christner is an actor and writer living in Los Angeles.
He can be seen playing Aide #1 this month on "The West Wing,"
saying "We're talking about PSSF grants?" while Brad Whitford
ignores him completely.