On 9/11
September 11, 2002
By Democratic Underground Readers

Before last year, there were very few memorable moments in my life. I was born in 1987, long after the assassinations of the Kennedys and Martin Luther King Jr., many years after the first moon landing, and even after the Challenger explosion. I don't even have any memory of any presidents previous to President Clinton. So, on September 11th, 2001, I wasn't just upset, our angry, or confused - I was shocked.

The day of the attacks started just like any other morning. I woke up at 6:00am, got on the bus and went to school. During my first few classes, everything was normal. But then, at around 10:00 am, things started to get strange. Many students were suddenly being called down to the office for dismissal, and the administrators were walking around with walkie-talkies. I finally started to become suspicious when all the after-school activities were canceled. I knew something terrible had happened, and I knew that no one was going to tell us what happened.

When I arrived in my English class, my teacher could tell that the students were scared. Someone asked, "What exactly is going on?" She replied, "I know that something bad happened in New York and Washington, but I have no details." Giving such unspecific information to a group of thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds was a very bad idea. Rumors started to spread, terrible rumors, about what really happened. When I went to gym class, the gym teachers told us we could just sit and talk because many students were sent home. For the next hour, 100 students sat in the gymnasium trying to figure out what was going on in the world outside the school.

My last class that day was Spanish. My Spanish teacher was crying her eyes out, but she wouldn't tell us why. (I found out days later that her daughter was in the WTC, but survived.) My class of twenty-five students was now down to seven, because so many kids went home. By the time I rode the bus home I thought that not only were the Twin Towers gone, but the Empire State Building was destroyed, as were the White House, the Washington Monument and the Statue of Liberty. We also believed that they weren't destroyed by hijacked planes, but by Pakistani fighter planes dropping bombs on major cities. I didn't even know if my house would still be standing when I arrived. When my mom finally told me what happened, in a strange way I was relieved that it wasn't as terrible as I had thought.

On the next day at school, I asked a teacher, "Why didn't you tell us what happened?" She nonchalantly replied, "Well, we didn't want you to panic." Panic? I thought the whole country was destroyed! Of course I wasn't panicking!

The first few months after September 11th were extremely difficult. Three of my friends lost their fathers, and two other family friends had perished. My town also lost an additional 13 people. I attended four funerals between September and December. It was just terrible.

Now, a year has passed and my life has completely changed. I've become obsessed with knowing the news. I'm frightened of the fact that something can be going on in the world, and I might not know about it. It still makes me sick to think that the CIA, FBI, and the Bush Administration had the chance to prevent these attacks, and didn't. Maybe if the government was paying a little more attention my friends would still have their fathers today. I'm still writing my Senators begging for an investigation of what really happened that day.

September 11th 2001 was by far the most memorable day in my life. I know it's impossible, but sometimes I wish I could just black the day out of my mind forever. It's just to painful to think about.

— Michele Giovia, aka MusicTVstar

One year later...

I've been full circle, through all of the stages, in dealing with this horrible act of violence - disbelief, sadness, fear, anger and then disbelief all over again. The wounds are just as fresh, the anguish is still there, the sadness never really leaves and the anger continues to grow.

There were people there with cameras that were able to capture the horrible tragedy on film, but there are no words that will ever be able to capture or express the grief and the outrage that I felt that day and still feel today.

I read articles, watch the news and sometimes I find myself just staring the television, while they continue to replay the horrible events of September 11, 2001, as if somehow, the inhuman acts that were committed will somehow make sense to me, but they don't. There are days when the tears seem to block the sun's rays and I feel lost, hopeless and so angry.

I have questions, I want answers and I want the truth. I want those politically responsible to be brought to justice, but I also want to know how people can be so unkind and commit such appalling acts against others. Yet I find no answers or any explanation that will ever be acceptable, for such a senseless and brutal theft of life.

The past year has precipitated a lot of soul searching, examining and reevaluating my purpose in this world. I have become more aware of how our words, attitudes, thoughts and actions either nourish the seeds of hate and violence or how they can nourish peace within ourselves and in others.

I continue to hope for a better world than the world of chaos and hate that we live in. A world where everyone is more compassionate, more tolerant and more accepting of others .....where peace and life are cherished.

— Susan Norman

My wife and I are pretty average 46er Boomers who tend toward the liberal end of the spectrum. We don't need or have a lot of money, maybe we're ragged and funny, but we travel together and cover each other's backs. We have recently moved to civilization from living off the grid for 20 years and more, so our outlook is more survival-oriented than some, maybe more rural than most.

That said, we are both tired of 9-11 a year later, with the loss of our rights, the missed opportunities for real advance toward a world concensus blown for the benefit of big corporations. Our foreign policy having no real leadership direction, the search for Osama lost in space, the Anthrax fiasco likely a domestic ploy, the president shown to be a smirking patsy for big oil, the economy in shambles with the credibility of our "free market" at an all time low - how can a reasonable person have faith in the future of the present corrupt system. Hardened and calloused by 9-11 would be a fair description of how we feel now.

Yet we move forward, sadder but wiser.

— Bruce and Wendy McAuley