September 11, 2002
By Democratic Underground Readers
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One year later...
I've been full circle, through all of the stages, in dealing
with this horrible act of violence - disbelief, sadness, fear,
anger and then disbelief all over again. The wounds are just
as fresh, the anguish is still there, the sadness never really
leaves and the anger continues to grow.
There were people there with cameras that were able to capture
the horrible tragedy on film, but there are no words that
will ever be able to capture or express the grief and the
outrage that I felt that day and still feel today.
I read articles, watch the news and sometimes I find myself
just staring the television, while they continue to replay
the horrible events of September 11, 2001, as if somehow,
the inhuman acts that were committed will somehow make sense
to me, but they don't. There are days when the tears seem
to block the sun's rays and I feel lost, hopeless and so angry.
I have questions, I want answers and I want the truth. I
want those politically responsible to be brought to justice,
but I also want to know how people can be so unkind and commit
such appalling acts against others. Yet I find no answers
or any explanation that will ever be acceptable, for such
a senseless and brutal theft of life.
The past year has precipitated a lot of soul searching, examining
and reevaluating my purpose in this world. I have become more
aware of how our words, attitudes, thoughts and actions either
nourish the seeds of hate and violence or how they can nourish
peace within ourselves and in others.
I continue to hope for a better world than the world of chaos
and hate that we live in. A world where everyone is more compassionate,
more tolerant and more accepting of others .....where peace
and life are cherished.
My wife and I are pretty average 46er Boomers who tend toward
the liberal end of the spectrum. We don't need or have a lot
of money, maybe we're ragged and funny, but we travel together
and cover each other's backs. We have recently moved to civilization
from living off the grid for 20 years and more, so our outlook
is more survival-oriented than some, maybe more rural than
That said, we are both tired of 9-11 a year later, with the
loss of our rights, the missed opportunities for real advance
toward a world concensus blown for the benefit of big corporations.
Our foreign policy having no real leadership direction, the
search for Osama lost in space, the Anthrax fiasco likely
a domestic ploy, the president shown to be a smirking patsy
for big oil, the economy in shambles with the credibility
of our "free market" at an all time low - how can a reasonable
person have faith in the future of the present corrupt system.
Hardened and calloused by 9-11 would be a fair description
of how we feel now.
Yet we move forward, sadder but wiser.
Bruce and Wendy McAuley
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