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Conservative-to-English
Dictionary: Decoding Right-wing spin and con-speak
August 10, 2002
By fed2dneck
Conservatives have assaulted the American people by mangling
the English language, giving new, perverse meanings to common
words and phrases. The far right has refined code talking
to a science and has mastered the art of deceptively redefining
important political terms, to the point where the average
American has been duped into believing in the patriotism,
religious fervor, and American values of conservatives, when
in fact they do not say what they mean. The actions of the
far right are not in keeping with their words, and so, as
a public service to ordinary Americans, we have compiled this
Conservative-to-English glossary which cracks the code of
the radical right and defines their phrases according to their
actions, as opposed to the lip service they pay.
Aiding and abetting terrorists: formerly, acting as
an accomplice to politically motivated criminal activity,
violence, or intimidation of civilian populations. Now, it
has been twisted to mean a dogged insistence on exercising
one's constitutional rights and having them respected, especially
the right to criticize the government and the court-appointed
pResidential tyrant and his henchmen, who use the fight against
terrorism as an excuse to silence differences of opinion.
Anti-American: formerly, sentiments hostile to American
ideals and cultures. Now, perverted to mean criticism of the
anti-democratic and unconstitutional abuses of power by a
court-appointed tyrant who shall go nameless.
Anti-business: derogatory term for a one who puts
the interests of workers, consumers, and other ordinary people
before those of rich, amoral corporate stuffed shirts and
robber barons.
Apparent suicide: official declaration by crooked
authorities to cover up a murder or assassination, especially
if the alleged perpetrator or perpetrators enjoy the privilege
of wealth, status, political connections, or any or all of
the aforementioned. Typically said of whistleblowers who turn
up dead. (related: accidental death)
Charitable choice: unconstitutional government funding
of social services offered by potential terrorist organizations
fronting as religious institutions. Most seeking this program
have had a history of abusing children in the name of God.
Death tax: the inherited wealth tax to which only
estates valued at $6,000,000 or more are subjected.
Democracy: a system in which the principle of one-person-one-vote
has effectively been sold out to the one-dollar-one-vote model.
(see: free enterprise).
Deregulation: elaborate con game practiced by corporate
criminals to persuade lawmakers to give them a license to
steal from investors, employees, and consumers; a socially
acceptable pyramid scheme. Defended by supporters as "capitalism
at work", instead of the fraud it is.
Economic security: absolute guarantee that the rich
will get even richer on the backs of working Americans.
Economic stimulus: corporate welfare giveaways in
the form of sharply reduced tax rates for millionaires, in
which ordinary working folks must pay; more tax black holes
that allow millionaires who don't pay taxes to get hefty refunds;
all resulting in massive layoffs, yet without any relief for
unemployed workers.
Free Enterprise: license for already bloated corporations
to take over previously established, smaller businesses, with
no government regulation to stop corporate bullies from stomping
on them. It entails the replacement of regulated monopolies
or small, mom-and-pop establishments with behemoth, impersonal
corporations, luring the public with empty promises of increased
competition and lowered prices, but the big corps eventually
choke off competition with predatory practices, putting the
little businesses out of business, so the former shop owners
have to take a job for a mere pittance. Also known as Free
Enterprise Cancer.
Free Speech: when mentioned by average Americans,
it's the right to speak one's mind without running the risk
of criminal charges. When spoken by a conservative, it's the
"right" for amoral corporations to launder millions of dollars
into the campaigns of conservatives, with the unspoken agreement
of favorable legislation and/or protections from legal liability
in return.
Freedom: license for right-wing authorities, corporate
parasites, and Republican politicians to trample on the Constitutional
rights of hard-working Americans, wrongly accused, and Democratic
politicians.
Homeland Security: a proposed secret police agency,
reminiscent of regimes like Nazi Germany, Stalinist Russia,
and Red China, whose sole purpose is to protect and serve
a dictatorial regime and to terrorize and oppress the American
people, shredding the Constitution in the name of battling
terrorism. Connotes the people being reduced to being subjects
to a tyrant instead of citizens of a nation whose president
represents them.
Investigation: partisan witch hunt that serves no
purpose other than to discredit, embarrass, and humiliate
liberal political opponents for indiscretions in their personal
lives, and then try, convict, and hang by media on trumped-up
felony charges for which the accusers themselves are probably
guilty. Note that the loudest accusers are the same ones who
are hiding skeletons in their own closets, from chronic adultery
to telemarketing fraud to even murder.
Medicare/Social Security Modernization: right-wing
Republican doublespeak for mandatory privatization of Social
Security and Medicare, which forces workers to take a portion
of their payroll taxes intended for Social Security and Medicare
and invest it in the stock market so corporate pirates can
easily steal their life savings. See also Social Security/Medicare
Reform.
Meritocracy: eloquent-sounding euphemism for social
Darwinism, masking the ugly reality of economic and social
injustice. a.k.a, the de facto affirmative action program
favoring wealthy white Protestant males at the expense of
women and minorities.
Obstructionist: said when a Democratic politician
prevents bad or unjust legislation from being acted upon,
particularly when Republican politicians propose laws that
provide tax breaks for corrupt, criminal corporations; give
incentives for them to export American jobs to foreign sweatshop
operators; and leave the unemployed workers to fend for themselves.
Partisan witch hunt: investigation into serious crimes
committed by conservative politicians and/or their most generous
campaign contributors, with the intent to get at the truth.
This term only applies to liberal politicians suspicious of
conservative stonewalling and secrecy intended to cover up
corporate crime.
Pro-business: conservative euphemism to justify giving
big corporations an undeserved sense of entitlement, free
rein to overcharge consumers for products and services of
substandard quality, underpay workers while subjecting them
to dangerous working conditions, and put smaller establishments
out of business.
Pro-life: When used by progressives truly concerned
about all life, it means protecting both the sanctity and
quality of life from conception to natural death, without
discriminating by reason of age, gender, race, criminal status,
status inside or outside of the womb, or disability. When
used by conservatives, it connotes a selective, hypocritical
claim to protect the unborn, but in reality thinly masks a
visceral hostility of women, minorities, and the disabled.
Note that the "sanctity of life" does not extend to pregnant
women, "convicted" murderers, nor foreigners, especially political
enemies. Quality of life doesn't matter to them.
Protect: When used by Republican, especially conservative,
politicians or pundits; billionaire businesspeople; greedy
oil executives; etc.; it means to oppress the people by stripping
them of their basic liberties and rights, while conning them
into thinking dictatorial rule is good for them.
Protect the Homeland: to oppress the American people
by shredding the Constitution; arbitrarily imprisoning people
the regime doesn't like by slapping the label "enemy combatant",
then deprive them of their right to a lawyer, information
of the charges against them, a fair trial, and a presumption
of innocence; stripping workers of their job security; depriving
the public of their right to seek the truth; and threaten,
terrorize, and frighten them into silence and submission by
means of false terror warnings whenever either the pResident's
approval rating's slump or a scandal breaks.
Regime Change: Unprovoked, illegal war on a country
with the intention of replacing a dictator the pResident doesn't
approve of with another dictator the illegal squatter does
approve of.
School Choice: stealth resegregation, or in extreme
cases, state-sponsored terrorism, in the form of vouchers
which allows parents to send their children to private schools,
even fundamentalist religious schools which serve as fronts
of domestic terrorist organizations which have the regime's
approval.
Security Risk: any action by political opponents that
would expose the unpleasant truth that His Illegitimacy indeed
stole the election and is occupying the White House by sheer
judicial fiat, such as displaying signs hostile to the regime
in the face of the president or reporting crimes committed
by right-wing political operatives (see propaganda). These
actions call for drastic measures to curb them, such as arresting
little old ladies for carrying signs bearing slogans critical
of the regime, and herding protesters into makeshift concentration
camps they call "First Amendment zones", far out of view of
the tinhorn dictator.
Social Security reform: privatization pyramid scheme
that forces workers to invest in Enron or WorldCom style stocks
what would have gone into Social Security for retirement.
The amount a worker will have by age 60 will be an utter surprise--usually
next to nothing!!.
Tax rebate: an advance on the taxes that the taxpayer
will have to repay the following April 15, but presented as
if they didn't have to repay it. A trap if you ask us.
Tax relief: scam put forth by conservatives to justify
shifting the tax burden from wealthy individuals and large
corporations, who can afford to pay the most in taxes, to
the middle- and lower classes, who end up paying a much larger
percentage of their income in taxes. Also known as trickle-down
economics, when the rich get a golden parachute, while they
give the middle and working classes a golden shower.
Terrorist: formerly, an individual or member of an
organization that resorts to politically, racially, or religious-motivated
violence, intimidation, or force, against civilians. Now,
it has come to mean, thanks to our attorney general, any exercise
or demand of constitutional rights that are at odds with the
agenda of the executive branch of the Federal government.
Especially used by conservatives to tattle to the government
on liberals who have a problem with the ruling classes.
Tort reform: diabolical scheme designed to relieve
misbehaving corporations of their responsibility to pay for
their illegal acts. Can take the form of making it too hard
for individuals to sue corporations, or capping damages to
absurdly low sums of money, equivalent to letting a violent
felon off with a slap on the wrist.
War on terrorism: justification on dubious grounds
for legalized? kidnapping of immigrants or ethnic groups,
whose only association with the real terrorists is a common
religion, language, and accent. Also entails a wholesale subversion
of the Constitution, resulting in the denial of basic liberties
and rights of American citizens, in the name of protection
from terrorists.
Wasteful taxpayer spending: when a Democratic politician
attempts to investigate a serious political/business scandal
involving executives with Most Favored Corporation status
bilking investors, employees, and retirees out of billions
of their hard-earned dollars, along with their enablers, who
stonewall the investigation with illegal executive orders
and unlawful invocation of executive privilege, and who belligerently
and falsely accuse leaders of the opposition party of corruption
they themselves are knee-deep in. (see: partisan witch hunt)
Youthful indiscretions: felonies punishable by long
prison sentences when committed by a Democrat, poor person,
black, Hispanic, liberal, or feminist, An absolute defense
against punishment when done by a conservative Republican.
fed2dneck is a regular DUer who abhors right-wing deception.
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