Stop Chasing Bush, Go After Dick
June 11, 2002
By Scaramouche

Can you spell S-P-I-R-O A-G-N-E-W?

Would Nixon have resigned if his VP hadn't already fallen in disgrace? Hard to tell. Yet, I think that once you prove that there are crooks in the administration the press has an easier time associating criminal behavior and branding the head with similar accusations. Dick Cheney is the chink in Bush's seemingly Teflon armor.

Striking at the head of the hydra is inutile. A quick run around to hamstring the beast, slicing through one of its supporting pillars, is a much more effective metaphoric tactic. Once wallowing on the ground, decapitation becomes easier, although only if one is quicker with the sword than the Hydra is to regenerate.

June 8th's New York Times op-ed piece by Frank Rich is a veritable indictment of the second in command. The list of High Crimes and Misdemeanors starts with his days as CEO of Halliburton. "It was also on his watch that Halliburton allegedly pulled a cute, Enron-like accounting trick, now under S.E.C. investigation, that allowed it to inflate revenues" Rich states. Agnew fell for much less shady business dealings.

But this list doesn't stop there. Through Halliburton subsidiaries there were oil equipment deals to Iraq contrary to US law and the UN embargo to the tune of $73 million. Furthermore there were many unethical deals, like the Dresser Industries merger, which while not quite illegal at the time raise questions of Cheney using his influence as a member of the administration to affect the outcome of Asbestos Liability legislation.

Upon his departure, "Cheney left Halliburton with a $34 million retirement package last July when he became the GOP's vice-presidential candidate. That's not bad for a CEO who was most likely hired for his Rolodex. It's no wonder this administration wants to repeal the Estate Tax.

The truly damning questions are twofold. First, Cheney's heading of The Energy Policy Task Force. As in, how did the energy industry write policy while excluding many environmental groups? Nobody believes their false defense of a non-accusation, " We didn't try and help them while they went under."

Second, Cheney's May 8, 2001, mandate with "'overseeing a national effort' to coordinate all federal programs for responding to domestic attacks in league with a new Office of National Preparedness at the Federal Emergency Management Agency," to quote the NYT piece again. But it seems he also took a summer vacation until September of that year.

It is no wonder that he took to the airways recently,changing his tune from "Unvarnished Advice" to speaking out of the side of his mouth that it was "unconscionable to criticize a War-Time President." Does he really believe he can hide behind the commander-in-chief's skirts? Or should that be chaps, as Bush and Cheney are fellow Texans? Oops, I forgot he relocated north to Wyoming to avoid a constitutional requirement.

While there are many who think George W. Bush is an aphasic illiterate, he is shrewd and tenacious like a pre-historic anomaly. Just as he was vacationing in Texas back in August, 2001, he noted that. "'One of the interesting things to do is drink coffee and watch Barney chase armadillos. The armadillos are out, and they love to root in our flower bed. It's good that Barney routs them out of their rooting." A month later he promised to root out those Evildoers. Kind of rhymes with armadillos...

My advice for investigative journalists (do they exist anymore?): Don't go for the honey pot when you can go for the staff.

In today's world, Scarmouche prefers to be anonymous...