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Beyond
Embarrassment
May 30, 2002
By W. David Jenkins III
That's it, I quit! I cannot believe what's going on. Now,
I was under the impression that the "adults were in charge."
The news of the last few days has been so mortifying and so
humiliating that I cannot believe that anybody, Republican
or Democrat, can stand behind George W. Bush without making
faces behind his back.
Before anything else happens, would somebody please tell
that little twerp that Condi Rice and Colin Powell are not
the only black folks in the world? When talking with Brazilian
president Fernando Henrique Cardoso, Baby Bush, God bless
him, asked,
"Do you have blacks too?"
How, how, how did this guy get out of grade school let alone
get to be president? Oh no, don't give me the "corrupt Supreme
Court" thing again. I'm sorry, but in order to elevate this
level of stupidity and ignorance to the highest office in
the country you need more than a corrupt court! This is the
equivalent of putting an infant behind the wheel of a car
and thinking that buckling baby's seatbelt will prevent an
accident!
And of course the American media has "missed" this particular
story but the rest of the world hasn't. Not only did thousands
of them protest against Bush and his policies during his visit
to "Yurp," now they're also laughing their Old World butts
off at him. And us.
The Brazilian president remarked later that Bush was "still
in a learning-phase" when it came to South America. No! No!
No! "Learning phase" is supposed to be what you go through
before you steal office, George! Oh, somebody hide
us, please! Condi Rice just isn't cut out for this kind of
damage control.
And it only gets worse. Let us all say a prayer, or whatever
we do, that the terrorist factions we're currently interrogating
never go wild in your local Video King or Blockbuster or whatever
video store there is near you. Seems as though the latest
terrorist warnings are compliments of the movie "Godzilla."
No, dang it, I'm serious.
ABCNews.com reported the following:
W A S H I N G T O N, May 28 - Americans prepared
for their Memorial Day weekend amid a flurry of uncorroborated
terror threats, some of which, sources told ABCNEWS, were
inspired by the 1998 remake of the Japanese monster movie
Godzilla. Most of the warnings released in recent months
have come from interrogations of al Qaeda and Taliban prisoners
in custody in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Then the article goes on:
Questions are being raised, however, about whether
Zubaydah is playing games with his interrogators, deliberately
sending his captors off on time-consuming and expensive
wild goose chases. For instance, during interrogations recently,
Zubaydah suggested that a bridge and a statue shown in the
remake of Godzilla might be targets for terrorism, sources
said. When officials watched the movie, they concluded the
alleged Osama bin Laden lieutenant was referring to the
Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty. Within days,
the information prompted officials to place both under heightened
security.
Oh, well I feel a heck of a lot more secure now, don't you?
Okay, so not only is the world community laughing at us, but
now we have our prisoners having a bit of fun at our expense.
They've obviously caught on to the level of stupidity and
gullibility that seems to permeate in the current American
regime and they are utilizing it to the maximum.
Geez, whatever you do, don't let 'em see any of the "Die
Hard" flicks. And, in case the gang in charge hasn't thought
about it, all James Bond movies are definitely off limits!
In fact, maybe you guys should just sit and watch videos for
a few months. We know how much you all hate to read books,
(especially Tom Clancy novels) so just plug in the VCR and
kick back so you all can keep us safe and free from embarrassment.
Scuba diver terrorists indeed!
You know it won't stop people from asking questions about
9/11. All you people are doing is prolonging the inevitable.
The questions are still going to keep coming, George. NBC's
David Gregory gave you a hint of things to come during your
disastrous press conference in France. Dave asked a poignant
question to Bush that day and all the little brat could do
was come up with a smart-alecky answer. When Gregory asked
Bush about the protests that had dogged him during his European
jaunt and the anti-Bush (not anti-American) feelings expressed
by the protestors, he also asked, in French, for Chirac to
comment as well.
Bush got all miffed and erroneously accused Gregory of "memorizing
a few French words" in order to pass himself off as being
"intercontinental." Does he think Gregory is a missile, or
is this yet another example of Bush's lack of comprehension
of the English language?
Bush then spewed the phrase "I'm impressed. Que bueno. Now,
I'm literate in two languages." Well, I don't know Spanish
for squat so I'll give him the benefit of a doubt. But, exactly
what other language is Bush "literate" in? Oh, he better not
be trying to include English in that statement. Anybody who's
heard him speak without 3x5's or Karen Hughes knows that's
an eighteen wheeler lie.
Then he went on about how Gregory might have seen people
protesting but all he saw was people waving. That's right,
George. Just keep blowing hot air into that bubble you live
in. Face it, George, we the majority, despise you and so does
most of the world. As you and yours like to say, get over
it!
Stop blaming your poor European performance on "jet lag."
You crossed two time zones in five days. Just admit it. The
European leaders kept you up past your bed time. Face it.
They're grown ups. You're an embarrassing spoiled child who
was handed a job you didn't even want. You cannot possibly
keep up. You're still in a "learning phase." You're dealing
with world leaders, ya doof. It's the leader of Russia not
"Pootie Poot," you moron! Yes, there are blacks in Brazil
and England and the Hamptons and, no, Africa is not a country!
You and your ilk are not patriots. The people who care enough
about the future of America, the ones questioning you are
the real patriots. We recognize the fact that every time things
look bad for you, your people issue another "terrorism alert."
We know that you knew more than you're letting on about 9/11.
We saw you just sit there in an elementary class that day
doing nothing for around 25 crucial minutes between the first
and second attack on the twin towers. Knowing what you knew.
You just sat there with that dumb look on your face. The same
dumb look that we've become accustomed to. The same dumb look
that the rest of the world sees every time you get asked a
tough question.
Believe it or not, I feel like I've held my tongue, to a
degree, for a long time and I just can't do it anymore. George
W. Bush, you are the ultimate embarrassment to the majority
of Americans. Will you please just stay home and shut up.
We can't take it anymore. You don't fool most of us. You've
been looking like a little bunny rabbit who's just spotted
the business end of a shotgun (9/11, Enron etc.) pointed in
your direction. The old Dan Quayle "deer in the headlights"
stare. How can people support you when they (not to mention,
you) have no idea what you're saying?
Look, just forget it, George. Just take your naps, play on
the treadmill and keep trying to get to the ultimate score
on your video games. Just, please, shut up. Well, at least
until the subpoenas start coming. Then we'll insist that you
start talking.
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