Megadittoes Rush! First Time E-Mailer!
April 15, 2002
By Brian Harwell

Mr. Limbaugh;

I've listened to you on occasion over the years, when I'm in the mood - that same mood that allows me to laugh at the Jon Lovitz character in Saturday Night Live who is constantly making up lies on the fly to cover for his original, outrageous position: i.e. "Yeah, THAT'S the ticket! Respected international scientists are all Communists who would take away your HARD-EARNED capital just for fun while FOOLISHLY claiming that the Ford Excursion is a gas-guzzling, environment-threatening vehicle that soccer-moms from the red states could do without."

How absurd is that? Everyone knows that 5' 2" blond wives of people like Sean Hannity would be in perilous danger if they actually drove a station wagon to shuttle the neighborhood kids down the paved streets to Cardinal Law's sermons. Boy, those Liberals sure are a tough lot to figure out; where in the world are they getting their premises?

You frustrate me on several levels, but the greatest level of angst comes from your solipsistic sense of righteousness. You are the greatest spinner I have ever heard (I guess at one point there was an opportunity to "see" you on TV, but that went away - must've been one of those horrible Liberal conspiracies - sort of like you encounter in all the news sources).

Your hypocrisy is so voluminous that I don't know where to start. And, as a back-handed compliment, I must admit that there's no way to keep up. By the time I've finished choking down one of your lies (spoken with the utmost sincerity as a "public service announcement" of sorts - in your mind, at least), you've either: 1) moved onto another lie, or 2) expounded upon it with your talented imagination ("Expounded" - isn't that an ironic, onomatopoetic characterization of a man of your voraciously consumptive habits?)

As you surely know (or perhaps not, given your penchant for sequestering yourself from honest feedback), there are entire web sites and news sources dedicated to rebutting your outrageous and harmful "opinions" (I don't know what else to call your callow rants). Al Franken's book was particularly entertaining, and if nothing else, proved that you are aware of your critics, since you dropped a few pounds (for a while, anyway) in a shamed response to the book's allegations.

Bartcop.com is another entertaining site - though I'm curious: Do you feel slighted that he's moved onto bigger and more dangerous Republican hypocrites like George W. Bush? It would seem to me that only a hypocrite of your ego would feel slighted that an attack site no longer deemed you the most dangerous gasbag in America.

Getting to the point (finally - yes, I know, we Liberals are so deliberate in our thinking; such a violation of the vaunted "sound byte" that seduced all the red state voters), the issue I have with you is your absolute dismissal of all things "true". Okay, maybe that's an overstatement, but my point is that you sit there in your studio - with no scientific or professional background to speak of - and pontificate in that avuncular tone (Dick Cheney has adopted the same approach - have you noticed? You should feel proud for your pioneering spirit of obfuscation) about matters way beyond your ability to understand. T

he unfortunate result is that you end up assuring a naive and angry audience (a dangerous combination) that scientists not on the employee rolls of large corporations are nefarious quacks who "have their own political agenda". Not to be confused, of course, with scientists making six or seven figures testifying on behalf of, say, GE. No, those scientists observe the highest quality of ethical behavior.

Sheesh. Give me a break.

Mr. Limbaugh, I hope that someday - perhaps on your deathbed - you'll have an epiphany that all you've pursued and championed in your life has been in the very specific interest of a very few (yourself included, in your current tax bracket). You claim to be on the side of the "people" (see: Bill O'Reilly), but everything you espouse absolutely screws most of the myopic dittoheads who call your show and rip every Liberal policy that would actually help them - simply because of your pedantic ramblings.

I'm not one to take cheap shots, but I think your recent hearing problems were the true "on loan from God" gift to the world. I say "on loan", because the timing was so exquisite; you've apparently been the beneficiary of a "miraculous recovery" of sorts - perhaps due to the efforts of Jerry Falwell (when he wasn't busy in Republican White House Administrations ripping Jews and minorities?).

It appears that you crave approval - clearly supported by your show's practice of screening all callers so as to avoid any dissent that you can't defend, which would be most dissent - so I just wanted to alert you to the energetic level of joy that the majority of the world felt when you first reported your hearing loss. Not because anyone actually wished ill-will on another individual human being, but specifically because nobody wished any more ill-will towards humans and this earth. And you, sir, have been the epicenter of ill-will and distraction from progress for over a decade now.

Yours in Disgust,

Brian Harwell,
Santa Barbara, CA

P.S. Your claim of Liberal Media? In my decidedly Liberal town of Santa Barbara, we get Imus, you, Dr. Laura, and Mike Reagan through the day. Uh-huh. Liberal Media. What a myth.

Brian Harwell is a concerned citizen who has embraced politics the way a panicked mother clutches her child during an emergency situation on a crowded bus. The grasping for normalcy has grown more desperate since November of 2000.