Inside Osama bin Laden's Diary
April 1, 2002
By Bernard Weiner
Allah be praised, I'm still alive! I fully expected a backlash
from the evildoers, but not on this scale. This moving around
every night or two is exciting, but it gets old -- like me
-- pretty fast. Still, there's the "rush" from escaping the
bombardments and the troops (thank Allah for our Afghan and
Several of our top lieutenants have been killed by the infidels.
Many have been arrested, here and around the globe (although
sometimes the authorities have no idea that they have al-Qaeda
leaders in custody!); many who I thought were stalwart soldiers
of Allah have fallen away in cowardice; others are remaining
in place, or re-establishing new identities and locations,
awaiting word. In short, the network has been badly disrupted,
worse than I thought it would be.
I was hoping that there would be an Islamic uprising as the
imperial infidels began bombing Afghanistan. I didn't realize
that, with the United States as the only superpower in the
world, that they would go global on us, and frighten so many
So we made some big errors of judgement and strategy. But
there have been so many positive developments from our September
11th action -- which will unfold in their richness over time.
1. I really didn't mean to awaken the sleeping beast quite
this way. I thought America would react as if to a bad hornet's
sting, maybe lob some missiles at our training camps like
Clinton did, tighten up their immigration rules, maybe some
roundups of a few suspects. Instead, Allah be praised, the
U.S. is behaving like a mad bull in a shop of expensive china.
It is raining bombs and bullets all over the world, and promising
to do more -- even threatening to unleash its nuclear arsenal
-- thereby alienating not just small groups of our supporters
but entire countries -- even continents, such as Europe! It's
clear that the "war on terrorism" isn't just about us and
our friends, but represents a convenient rationalization for
the U.S. to assert its power and control everywhere.
In short, the U.S, is becoming what I could only have hoped
for: a reckless, arrogant bully attacking and threatening
one Moslem country after another. I thought it would take
al-Qaeda and our friends years to foment hatred, and the coming
jihad, against America; Bush is making sure that movement
is building organically, within less than a year. Thanks be
2. In addition, America under Bush and his cronies is becoming
a neofascist country internally. Never would have I imagined
that Bush would attack his country's own Constitution in search
of al-Qaeda. A martial society -- what a bonus! When the U.S.
falls, as it must, it will be so much easier to install our
own strict religious and political institutions, because Ashcroft
and his bosses will have laid the foundation.
3. Because nothing much has happened in the way of attacks
since 9/11, the American public has lulled itself back to
sleep, thinking themselves secure. They are going to be severely
stunned when we get our action groups re-organized and ready
to move. No more namby pamby plane-bomb crashes; those were
designed to deliver a message: The world has changed, you
are vulnerable anywhere, anytime. No more delivering messages;
we're going big time.
It's so obvious. The day of conventional high-tech warfare
is over, although the U.S. (perhaps to help its economy) is
still building more and more high-tech weaponry. We don't
need it; we have our low-tech specialties, designed to cause
the maximum amount of damage and disruption and fright --
which means we can control the economic health of the United
States of America anytime we want to.
In Afghanistan, they drop big bombs from 15,000 feet up,
while we hide deep in caves or (thanks to our friends who
tip us off) disappear down paths to other areas. And then
we attack when we want to and disappear again. Ho, Ho, Ho
Chi Minh. He knew which way the wind was blowing, and how
to battle the big beast.
In that angry beast's own country, we (and future terrorists)
can tie them up, blow them up, stir them up, scare them anytime
we feel like it. A nuclear facility here, a port there, some
biological agent in a mall, chemicals in a reservoir, suicide
martyrs on the bridges, and on and on -- and, despite all
their vaunted high-tech "security" measures, they can't really
stop us. The economy plummets again. Life will be a living
hell for them for generations -- as it has been, thanks to
them, for so many of our brethren -- until their civilization's
demise, may Allah will it.
Whether I'll get to see that glorious day is unknown. By
all rights, I should be dead by now. But the Americans always
seem to leave avenues of escape; I'm beginning to suspect
that's by design, as I can remain the bogeyman and Bush can
use me to scare his people and carry out his Pax Americana
plans around the globe.
As for the beast Sharon in Israel, he's our best asset in
provoking Muslim solidarity, just by being himself. He and
Arafat -- that corrupt piece of tired flesh -- have brought
things to a boil, and have no idea how to escape the war trap
they've created for themselves. If I could, I'd send more
arms to both sides. And a thank-you note to George Bush, for
his, as usual, inept foreign policy -- trying to pretend he
can stop the pressure-cooker building up in Palestine by doing
next to nothing. (And that corrupt U.S. lackey from my homeland
with his phony peace plan that would legitimize Israel's right
to exist -- we'll take care of him, and the other so-called
"leaders" of Arab countries who lick Bush's boots.)
I can't wait for the fullscale battle to start: the Muslim
world vs. Israel, the U.S. vs. Iraq (and Yemen and Somalia
and Iran). All I have to do is step aside and let the holy
I hope Ashcroft will imprison all the critics within his
borders, those who want U.S. policy in the region to change,
who want to work rigorously for peace in the Middle East,
who want less corruption and authoritarian rule & repression
in Arab (and even within the U.S.) lands. Keep those bombs
and invasions coming, George! You are the best ally we could
have hoped for.
All for now. Gotta run -- for real.
Bernard Weiner, a poet and playwright, was the San Francisco
Chronicle's theater critic for nearly 20 years. He holds a
Ph.D. in government & international relations and has taught
at various universities.