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I'll Have a Brock... Make it a Double
March 26, 2002
By W. David Jenkins III

Well, well, well. I guess it's official now. After years of right-wing pundits and other forms of silliness making fun of Hillary's claim of a "vast right-wing conspiracy" we all finally find out what most of us already knew. Hillary was right.

Oh, I know that the conservatives are practically wetting themselves over Bernard Goldberg's book (which shall remain nameless here). But they're also wetting themselves over David Brock's book, "Blinded By the Right." And they're tripping over themselves between the two books. Once again, their hypocrisy is getting in the way. See, in order for them to hail one book, they also have to hail the other. And that is causing them quite a bit of anguish. And their squirming dilemma is delicious!

I haven't read the whole book yet. Actually, I've been having a bit of fun listening to the "call in" shows and watching Washington Journal and others. The wrath of the conservatives is unparalleled when it comes to Mr. Brock. The most intelligent argument against his book is "Well, if he said he was lying then, how do we know he's not lying now?" And that has become the new mantra for the right when asked about the book. That's the talking point. That's the best they could come up with. Can you say "desperation", boys and girls? Sure you can.

I have to admit, I was surprised that the media gave this guy the time of day. Each time he was on, Mr. Brock held his own against the callers and whoever was interviewing him. He stated over and over, "I was wrong. I was lying. There really WAS a right-wing conspiracy." Did you guys hear him? Wasn't it great?

And then a week later the media comes out with the story that the Whitewater investigation was a $73 million dollar waste of money. The truth is out. The Republicans are the real sore losers. They wasted eight plus years and millions of dollars - your dollars - because they couldn't deal with the fact that the Reagan/Bush Era was the worst thing to ever happen to the later 20th century American people.

Their corrupt and disgusting dream was over and they couldn't deal with it. So they spent their time and our money trying to paint Bill Clinton as the devil and they failed. In fact, they're still trying and they are still failing. Trust me, there is no way that Little Bush is gonna strut out of office in three years riding as high as Clinton did. The truth is leaking out.

The week or so that Brock was allowed to appear was heaven. We heard him say it. The Republican Jihad was a reality. And it still is. These yahoos are still at it. And we all know what they're doing.

Gale Norton is out there lying to Katie Couric about clean air standards. Trent Lott has waged war against the Democrats because they wouldn't let a racist on the federal bench. Mitch McConnell is gonna take campaign finance reform to court because he needs Chinese money to get re-elected 'cause Americans won't give him any.

O'Reilly and Rush are going to continue to pump oral flatulence on the airwaves while George Will wonders if his words don't sound as stupid as his hair piece looks. Rumsfeld and Powell will continue to round 'em up and send 'em to countries that allow torture while Cheney continues to negotiate pipeline plans disguised as the "War on Terrorism" on his boss's son's behalf.

Bush will continue to talk tough about not being afraid of "two-bit terrorists" while hoping nobody notices that he's scared to death of the people he restricts to "First Amendment Zones." And then there's Tom DeLay who's always happy to go on Fox News Sunday to blame everything from terrorism to the moldy leftovers you have in the back of your refrigerator on Bill Clinton. But it's not going to work anymore.

Because we know they are hopeless, pathetic liars. Everything they blamed on Clinton is really their fault.

The crappy economy is their fault. Enron is their fault. The corporate monopoly on the media is their fault. 9/11 is their fault. If they hadn't been wasting valuable intelligence resources on Clinton's zipper or Condit's "relationship," maybe, just maybe we would've had a better handle on things. Rising gas prices are their fault. Lost jobs are their fault. Fox News is their fault. "Joanie Loves Chachi" and Bob Sagett are their fault. Global warming is their fault. The fact that social security will be gone when you and I retire is their fault. "Celebrity Boxing" and 'Survivor" is their fault. Letterman becoming unfunny and trivial is their fault. The death of true journalism is their fault. Britney Spears is their fault. I was late for work the other day. That's their fault too. The eroding of our civil rights and right to privacy is their fault. My paper was late this morning and my bed isn't made. That's their fault too. In fact, everything that's wrong with everything is their fault.

Okay, I know. I got a little carried away. But, damn that felt good! Thank you, David Brock. Thanks to you, now we can stop banging our heads against a cinder block.

Well, at least until the next time Bush Jr. opens his yap again.

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